The Danger of Celebrity Twinning

Lisa Marie Presley — the single spawm of King Elvis — announced this week she is pregnant with twins.

Rebecca Romijn and Jerry O’Connell are expecting twins.

Dennis Quaid’s twins were almost killed by a hospital overdose when they were newborns.

Television news anchor Nancy Grace gave birth to twins.

Brangelina had twins and sold the souls of their babies to People Magazine for $14 million USD. What is going on with these multiple celebrity births?  Twins are not a common occurrence.  Twins have historically been special and pretty hard to come by in the real world.  They were a wonder of nature.  That is no longer true.  Twins are now the new status symbol for stars.

Celebrities are self-centered and egoistic by definition.  They believe they are immortal.  They want to live forever.  They demand their star never lose its shine.  Celebrities are impatient by nature.

What, then, could be a better way to propagate your stardom in a single shot than by having two children instead of just one?  You save time and money and career distress by birthing two babies with a single stone.

Twins are extraordinary, so there is a certain amount of foul play involved in forcing multiple births for those that choose to tempt mother nature with medical intervention — usually by using artificial ovaries stimulation with drugs to provoke the body into dropping multiple eggs — and I wonder if straining the body into producing more than one child is the original definition of “child abuse?”

Twins are usually preemies, they suffer from lower birth weight, they are cursed with higher neonatal mortality as well as having to deal with raised incidences of malformations and handicaps.  Parents of twins also suffer more frequent and longer last depressive episodes.

With all these risks of birth for twins — why does Hollywood have so many twinings of the stars? There is no such thing as a coincidence, so these baby broods must be intentional.  

The answer appears to be simple selfishness and the want for neverending celebrity effervescence and the need to make big news, create longevity in the bloodline and to propagate their DNA beyond the reach of a single offspring. 

There is also a certain royal influence to create an “Heir and a Spare” to carry on the fertile family fame:  If one Mini-Me is good, then a double-shot of Multiple-Mes must even better!

Instead of applauding these artificially created multiple births by celebrities — we should be pitying their shallowness and hope for the best in the twins that were cheated at birth by their parents from their full and rightful awakening as individuals and not double down bets against the evolution of human nature.