One year ago, I unexpectedly became a father earlier than I thought I would be — my wife was due toward the end of January and the weather was looking more and more brutal every day. A few days before she gave birth, Elizabeth started complaining about really bad headaches and her doctor had her come in for some tests. It turned out that she had preeclampsia and it was preventing proper growth in the womb. The doctors were undecided whether to induce labor or not but when it became clear that the yet unnamed baby was in danger (We decided, in the spirit of Lucy and Ricky Ricardo, not to find out the gender of the baby — it was good enough for generation after generation and it was good enough for us!)
This was going to be a standard, run-of-the-mill, pontification about the seeming void of value in making Celebrity Best Dressed lists. Then on Wednesday, December 14th, something amazing happened. My wife, Elizabeth Davidescu, was rushed to the hospital because she wasn’t feeling well and she had thrown up a few times. She was 35 weeks pregnant. It was soon evident that it would be in the best interest of the baby and the mother to deliver the baby via c-section. As a result, I became a first-time father at 10:08 PM on Wednesday, December 14th. Having the baby the way we did made me really think about the best dressed lists and how incredibly absurd they are.
Joshua demanded a son; got a girl; fell in love.
Five years ago, Father’s Day fell on June 15th as it does this year. What better time to write a few more words about my father? Also, some of my thoughts on our President’s writing regarding this day.
Both of my parents have given me great advice and continue to do so. Some of the best advice I have gotten in my life has come from my parents – I suppose that is the way things are meant to be in an ideal world. I know only too well what happens when there is an absent parent as I spent hundreds of hours tutoring children who all had either one or both parents missing, in jail, or dead. They were strongly affected, and never in a good way.
A child without any sort of role model in the home will seek out role models elsewhere; whether those role models are found on the screen of the television, the movie theater, or the music device of their choosing, the role model is consistently there for them and they learn from them, for better or worse.
My father once gave me a shortly worded yet strong reprimand for something that happened when I was working in a retail environment. A customer was less than pleased with the help I had given them and told me as much. My father simply stated that even being complimented one thousand times by your customer did not make up for the one time you mess up and make them unhappy; it is unfortunate but true that people will more likely fill out a customer comment card when they are unhappy with the service than when they are quite happy with the service.
It turned out to be quite true because I was later asked about the incident by people who were higher up at the store. While the particular incident didn’t really get me in trouble because it was down to the person mishearing what I had said and deciding that I was clearly an evildoer who was out to make their lives miserable, it could have been much worse had the higher ups been even a little less understanding.
Clay Aiken announced this week he was going to be a father. Some in the media chuckled at the notion that Clay Aiken had the want and ability to father a child with a woman.