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I Do and I am Watching You, Too

In today’s dangerous world, is it enough to just say “I Do” when you take a vow to love and protect your beloved other during a marriage ceremony?  Isn’t it, perhaps, even more romantic to also add under your breath, “…and I’m watching you, too.” at&t thinks so, too, and they now offer a “FamilyMap” service that allows you, for ten dollars a month, to track two phones on your cellular service family plan.  For $15.00USD a month, you can track up to five phones.  Now you can have peace of mind while those around you tremble with paranoia in their new lives under your unblinking Panopticonic gaze — as demonstrated in the image below as I reflectively track myself, creating my own horrifying hallway of mirrors as I wonder if I’m coming or going:

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Office Husbands and Work Wives

I learned a couple of new terms the other day and they were new to me because I am self-employed and I work alone all day and I answer to only myself because I often talk to myself. I am a tough boss and a hard worker. I would give myself a raise and a bonus if I weren’t such a taskmaster. The new terms I learned were “Office Husband” and “Work Wife” and I want to know if you have one or not!

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I Had A Little Husband

by Tammy Tillotson

I had a little husband, no bigger than my thumb,
I put him in a pint pot, and there I bid him drum,
I bought a little handkerchief to wipe his little nose,
And a pair of little garters to tie his little hose.

–The Real Mother Goose

The Introduction
The lady over there by herself is Tammy…Ream…no, wait…Tillotson. It is Tillotson isn’t it? She did change her name back didn’t she? So-and-so said she’s separated, the poor dear. So-and-so’s friend said that she’s just going back to college to finish her education and that things have nothing to do with him. So-and-so’s friend of a friend overheard from her fifth cousin twice removed on her mother’s side of the family that it is true. She is getting a divorce.

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