by Losing weight can be an ongoing battle for most of us. If the Dunkin Donuts weight loss program isn’t working for you, then here’s a Big Tip that will absolutely guarantee you start shedding the pounds: Never Wear Sweatpants!
Yes, I’m afraid it’s true. Sweatpants are the work of the devil, and wearing them, will only make you rounder.
Sure, sweatpants are comfortable. Sure, you can go anywhere in them and sort of look good, and sure, as Roger Ebert has discovered, sweatpants are the de rigueur work uniform of the professional writer — but none of that means sweatpants are good for your body.
Sweatpants, for all their warm hugging of your waistline, are sneaky! They sit on your belly and when you eat a bit too much, they willingly accommodate that extra bite or four of dessert by stretching to fit your mood.
Your sweatpants quickly become your best friend and cuddle blanket. They don’t criticize you when you eat too much and they’re the best sort of elastic and flexible associate you could ever hope to have working around you.
You always look good in your sweatpants until a harsh reality sets in when you try to wear a pair of pants with a sized waist — and you can’t button them!
“Betrayer! False friend!” you howl wondering how you got to be so much fatter so darn fast.
The hard answer is this: You were tricked by your pants! The movable waistline was invented by sweatpants and you’re the one who ends up paying the price with an out-of-control belly.
If you want to keep your waistline in your attention at all times — never wear sweatpants! Only wear pants that have a waist size. That way, you’ll immediately know when you’re eating too much because your pants will tell you the truth as you struggle with the button to meet its hole.
Sometimes comfort isn’t the best thing for us. Sometimes we need the strict rigidity of a fixed waist in order to keep us focused, on track, and ultimately healthy.
David,
I thought the point of sweatpants was to sweat more when you are working out, not to pile on the pounds — hence the kooky name. 🙂
You’re right that sweatpants started out with a dignified reason — only to morph into something totally un-athletic!
About ten years ago I lost 5 and a half stone (78 pounds for those of you accross the pond) and gave up three things. I have since never worn jeans, non-designer track pants (ie that type of sweat-pants) or an extra-long shirt or top that us ex-fatties always used thinking it hid the stomach and still looked good – it did neither.
The choice to throw away my jeans was hard but since I am pretty grey now, I have chosen to be that guy who always dresses like he lives out of hotels and yacht clubs and I rather like it. My wife jokes and says I lost the weight because I was told to stop the cigars and they only suit fat blokes.
I agree, ditch the sweat-pants.
D Charles QC
Gibraltar
Congrats on the weight loss, uglyfringe! That’s a lot of weight off your bones and I know you feel better in every way after losing it.
I like your idea of dressing. As a freelance author and consultant, there is great temptation for me to dress for comfort instead of business while working on my own. I find I get many more things done during the day if I dress at home as if I were going into an office. It must be a mindset thing.
Anything elastic, large, or stretchy — is asking for trouble. Not only do you look like a slob, you also aren’t fooling anyone. Tuck in the shirt. Live with the bulges until you loose them.
I’m surprised how many people wear clothes that are at least two sizes too large. Is it bad body image? Unfamiliarity with sizes? Or just laziness? Baggy clothing suggests a disheveled mind. Clothes that fit compel a cogent mind.
The extra large clothes I think is in fact a sub-conscious giving-up of the situation with a denial. It comes down to being tired finding clothes that fit, shirts that do not come out everytime you bend over or sit down and thus you go big and lie to yourself that it looks cool. As a barrister and former Crown Prosecutor I had to have suits and they were of course tailor made not because I was wealthy or picky but because there was no on-the-shelf suits that would fit. Even my shirts had to be. I was lucky as it was all in the belly and not on my arms or legs – or heart – and it was to do with good food and a lot of good wine and beer. With a beard – also now gone – I was the guy you would ask to play Santa Claus but in fact looked like the Colonialist as I would meet colleagues in the Cigar Smoking Room of hotels.
I do not miss the jeans and the rest at all, I chose also the beard and I have a number “0” haircut now as well to fulfill the complete make-over. The biggest thing for me is that I can be there for my kids and new grandchild, that walking up the countless up-hill streets and stairs that is a part of Gibraltar without panting is great.
What is interesting is that after years and years of trying various diets and methods in the end it came down to logic and the biggest rule of all – habit. You have to lock yourself into a healthy-based routine and stick to it no matter. I have even taken-up a sport-hobby – albiet an expensive one – I own a small 21 foot sailboat and I race it. It may not be bike riding or running but it is a hell of a work-out.
D Charles
Thanks for all that fantastic detail! I know your insights will help others who are struggling.
As I’ve said before elsewhere, the secret to losing weight is simple as a declarative statement: “I want to be thin.” If you believe what you say, then every decision will be influenced by statement.
“Do you want some pie?”
“Do you want to go for a second walk?
“Do you want to go out to eat tonight?
“I want to be thin” — is the answer that brings you to the proper conclusion for those inquiry examples.
This is only true of the “traditional” sweat pants. Women, if they choose to wear the modern variant, yoga pants, will likely be encouraged by their fit to lose weight. 😉
Yes, Yoga pants encourage weight loss, but Spanx do not!
Well, Spanx were designed to conceal the perceived need for weight loos, so that makes some sense.
Spanx and Sweatpants serve the same end from different compressions!
ROFLMAO!