When Mean Girls Cry

Meet Britney.  She’s a Mean Girl.  This Mean Girl currently lives in the Big Brother 12 house.  She’s crying because the house doesn’t like her Mean Girl ways and the other houseguests nominated her for eviction along with her best friend, Monet, The Only Other Mean Girl on the show.

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The Spongebob Effect: Immorality and Commercial Children’s Television Programming

I spent the weekend with a gang — yes, a Gang! — of rowdy nine-year-olds from the Midwest.  I was shocked — yes, Shocked! — and disappointed by their crassness, overt sarcasm and apt insensitivity to those around them, and I blame antisocial, for-profit, children’s television programming for the damning result.

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Is Gray Powell an Apple Advertising Shill?

There’s something rotten in Appleville and thy name is Gray Powell.  Gray Powell, if you don’t already know, is the alleged Apple boob who left the next generation iPhone in a bar.  Gray is quickly becoming a cultural touchstone: He already has his own gag Fan Page on Facebook, and as of this writing, The Fake Gray Powell already has over 2,500 fans.

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Fear Factor and Fake Breasts

With the recent re-rising of my Boob Jobs article, I am ready to share with you a secret for betting on the success of competitors on NBC’s Fear Factor television show.Fear Factor Psycho House

100 percent of the time women with gigantic fake breasts are unable to successfully complete any cold water challenge. 100 percent of the time the reason they give for not being able to handle the cold water is “I couldn’t breathe; I couldn’t catch my breath.”

The reason they couldn’t breathe in cold water is their body could not heat up all that fake boob gel fast enough and so the giant fake boobs become heavy ice-packs embedded under the skin while directly sitting on muscle and bone millimeters away from the lungs.

It’s hard to catch your breath — let alone swim under water — with 12 pounds of ice pressing into your chest!

Boob Jobs

Am I the only one who doesn’t get the Boob Job Craze? I’m not talking about breast cancer reconstruction or fixing a birth deformity. Those breast implant surgeries are wonderful and necessary and healing.

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