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On Peeing Pale

Some may find it odd that I’m taking time in this largely popular magazine to discuss bodily fluids — but it is the very popularity of Go Inside Magazine that begs me to address this issue for wider appeal. We are made mostly of water. The replacement of this vital fluids is our lifeline to better health and here’s why…

*** Disclaimer!!! ***

Before you read any further, I want to make it clear I am not a doctor. I make no guarantees. I share with you here my experiences and insights. Take everything you read here with a grain of salt and apply it to your own experience. Check with a doctor before you employ, attempt or invoke any of the advice you read herein. If you are easily influenced or timid of mind and weak of volition, I urge you to read no further! Hit the back button on your browser now and read no more!

The Common Cause of the Common Cold
Okay, then! Glad you stayed. Here’s the scoop: When I was a graduate student at Columbia University, the most valuable thing I learned while getting my M.F.A. was not the history of the world or how to construct a dramatic story. The most valuable thing I learned was that the most common cause of the common cold is… dry air!

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Wnba: We Got Next? — Get Some English First!

As I watched the NBA semi-finals play out, I was amused, and then horrified at the commercials for the new Wnba or – in other words – The WOMEN’S National Basketball Association. Allow me a moment to vent my view before I get to the meaty core of the horror: In the spirit of the LPGA and Women’s Tennis, basketball will now rock with segregated competition where “separate” does not yet mean or intend to be “equal.” What’s next? The Wnfl and Wmlb? C’mon! If the sexes are truly equal – then don’t segregate women into a lesser league because they “can’t compete” or aren’t allowed to play with the “big boys.” Isn’t it our responsibility as role models (and we all are in everything we do no matter what Charles Barkley tries to tell us) to show that the sexes can get along in life AND on the basketball court? I don’t buy it that women aren’t good enough to play in the “men’s league” and I don’t think they should be stuck in a lesser league of their own, either.

Continue reading → Wnba: We Got Next? — Get Some English First!

Slumming at the Westwood Marquis Hotel and Gardens for $150 a Night

[Update – June 17, 1998: I get weekly messages about this article from GO INSIDE Magazine readers who continue to confirm my experience with the Westwood Marquis Hotel & Gardens despite what, I am told, is the hotel’s occasional claim over the phone that the “UCLA suites” have been remodeled and that my article is “out of date.” However, other readers report that the hotel confesses the “UCLA suites” have “not yet been remodeled” when confronted with the experiences I report in this article when they attempt to make a room reservation. I recently called the hotel and posed as a prospective guest. Without identifying myself, I casually mentioned this article and I asked if the “UCLA suites” description was accurate? I was told that those rooms have “yet to be remodeled.” All I can say is “Buyer Beware!” since the veracity of the situation appears to spin on who answers the phone at the hotel’s reception desk. I’ll continue to update this article as necessary.]

Continue reading → Slumming at the Westwood Marquis Hotel and Gardens for $150 a Night

Cultural Differences vs. Social Deviancy

Imagine this: You’re walking along the lower East Village in New York City on a Friday night and you come upon a baby crying alone in a stroller outside the Dallas BBQ restaurant at 132 Second Avenue. What would you do? Call 911? Flag down a cop? Go into the restaurant and search for the parents?

Crybaby
Last Friday just such an incredible scenario happened in real life, in real time. Two friendly passerbys did all the above mentioned actions in an attempt to reunite the crying baby with her parents. Incredibly, the parents were inside the restaurant having dinner and aware of the plight of their baby. In fact, the parents had purposefully left their baby alone on the sidewalk while they ate.

When Parents Won’t Parent
The parents refused to leave their seats to bring their baby inside the restaurant to sit with them even though the wait staff tried to convince the couple to bring the baby inside in exchange for a bigger table and a place to put the stroller. The parents declined. One passersby called 911 and the NYPD arrested the couple for “endangering the welfare of a child.” The baby was immediately placed in foster care by the city’s Administration for Children’s Services.

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Casting Stones at UFOs

The recent group suicide of the Heaven’s Gate community is quite a fascinating and vivid example of the power of Faith in the Greater Glory of a Higher Calling. It doesn’t matter if you support how Heaven’s Gate chose to express their Faith – their action is a curious study of a group’s dynamic ability to move beyond the physical world and reach out to touch something greater than themselves.

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Slaughterhouse Publishing

Allow me a moment to discuss the business of computer book publishing with you. It’s a fascinating business, an extremely profitable business, and a business that is in desperate need of a re-alignment of purpose and thought because some computer book publishers are short-shafting their readers. If you’re thinking of writing a computer book, read on. If you’re thinking of buying a computer book, you definitely need to read on…

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Race for Naturalization

There’s a strange aftershock going on around the country that may surprise you on a gut level. When President Clinton signed the Welfare Reform bill and made it the law of the land, many liberals shouted that it would be the children who would suffer most. In fact, the children of our society are quite protected from falling through the gaps. Programs are still in place that will provide for the continued welfare of any child in need.

Land of Opportunity
Many legal immigrants who come to this country purposefully give birth to their children here in the USA so their kids will be American Citizens. This guarantees that their children will be able to take advantage of WIC (Welfare for Infants and Children) and SSI (Supplemental Security Income), Food Stamps and Welfare at any time they are in need and many parents use the child’s benefits to satisfy their own needs.

The Line Forms Here
Childless legal immigrants welfare recipients are not quite so lucky thanks to the Clinton Welfare Reform Bill. On August 1, 1997, their Welfare checks, SSI, HR (Home Relief) and other benefits will stop unless and until they become naturalized citizens of The United States of America. You can imagine the scenario that is presently wending its way through many Federal buildings throughout our fair land. If you can’t envision it, let me paint some numbers for you of images dotting our amber waves of grain.

Continue reading → Race for Naturalization