On December 27, 2009, Domino’s Pizza threw out their old pizza recipe and, they claim, invented a whole new taste experience.  Yesterday, I suspending my eating morality for two seconds and took a bite of the “new and improved” Domino’s — cheese only — pizza to see just how much had changed with the iconic pizza of my childhood. 


The verdict for the new Domino’s recipe — shared by me and my five other friends — was:  “fail, Fail, FAIL!” 

The pizza tasted bitter.  The pizza tasted no different from the previous cardboard and shoelace recipe. 

We all felt duped by Domino’s for falling prey to a clever and cloying advertising campaign aimed to artificially increase short-term sales while selling the soul of the future pizza franchise.

The joke was definitely on us.

On the main page of the Domino’s website, there’s a guarantee you will love the reinvented pizza or you get your money back.  Okay.  Good idea.  Nice thought. 

However, there’s no clear way to collect on their guarantee!  So what’s a guarantee without a payout?  Another joke on us.

 

Domino’s is really media blitzing this new “turnaround” in their sauce, crust and cheese, but in the end, the taste is the same:  Awful, stiff, stale.

I’m not sure what Domino’s is trying to achieve with this sort of viral
infection of their pizza past by condemning what they did against what
they’ve done now, but when nothing changes and everything stays the same — you begin to think you’re the one who is going crazy — because Domino’s can’t be that debased and calloused to trick you into believing you’re tasting something new when you are not.  Or can they?  I guess they did.

We suggest Domino’s rename their campaign from “The Pizza Turnaround” to “Pizza Groundhog Day.”

8 Comments

  1. David Boles – New York City – David Boles was born in Nebraska and holds an MFA from the Oscar Hammerstein II Center for Theatre Studies at Columbia University in the City of New York. He is an author, dramatist, editor, publisher, and teacher who writes across the live stage, print, radio, television, film, and the web. With more than 50 books in print, David continues to write 2MM words a year and has authored over 25K articles. He is a member of the Dramatists Guild, the Authors Guild, and PEN America, and founded The United Stage advocacy platform on the principle that playwrights have a duty to direct their own work. Read the Prairie Voice Archive at Boles.com | Buy his books at David Boles Books Writing & Publishing at BolesBooks.com | Study with Script Professor at ScriptProfessor.com | Touch American Sign Language mastery at Hardcore ASL at HardcoreASL.com | Explore the Human Meme podcast at HumanMeme.com | Train with Boles Bells at BolesBells.com.
    Gordon Davidescu says:

    The real question is did they deliver on their promise for a refund? I would have demanded it had it tasted cardboardy! I haven’t had Domino’s since I was a kid and had, apparently, rubbish taste buds. A lot of things that I thought were the bee’s knees as a child are not as great to me now.

  2. Kathakali Chatterjee – Hyderabad, India – Professionally, I have an interesting concoction of experience -- from entertainment industry to retailing to executive education -- the journey is still on. When I don't work, I love to travel, read, listen to music and watch movies.
    kathakali.chatterjee says:

    I think I hate Dominos…it’s that simple.
    I pretty much survive on pizza while travelling and it’s always Pizza Hut, regardless the city I am in. I find Dominos pizza absolutely dry and sticky and tasteless and rubbery and so on…

  3. David Boles – New York City – David Boles was born in Nebraska and holds an MFA from the Oscar Hammerstein II Center for Theatre Studies at Columbia University in the City of New York. He is an author, dramatist, editor, publisher, and teacher who writes across the live stage, print, radio, television, film, and the web. With more than 50 books in print, David continues to write 2MM words a year and has authored over 25K articles. He is a member of the Dramatists Guild, the Authors Guild, and PEN America, and founded The United Stage advocacy platform on the principle that playwrights have a duty to direct their own work. Read the Prairie Voice Archive at Boles.com | Buy his books at David Boles Books Writing & Publishing at BolesBooks.com | Study with Script Professor at ScriptProfessor.com | Touch American Sign Language mastery at Hardcore ASL at HardcoreASL.com | Explore the Human Meme podcast at HumanMeme.com | Train with Boles Bells at BolesBells.com.
    David W. Boles says:

    The taste test was not worth the break in my morality, Gordon. It was just so utterly disgusting. I guess I smelled the Snake Oil in it all and that’s why I made the break so I could reveal the truth in the article. Domino’s is so expensive and utterly tasteless. Their success is confounding!

  4. David Boles – New York City – David Boles was born in Nebraska and holds an MFA from the Oscar Hammerstein II Center for Theatre Studies at Columbia University in the City of New York. He is an author, dramatist, editor, publisher, and teacher who writes across the live stage, print, radio, television, film, and the web. With more than 50 books in print, David continues to write 2MM words a year and has authored over 25K articles. He is a member of the Dramatists Guild, the Authors Guild, and PEN America, and founded The United Stage advocacy platform on the principle that playwrights have a duty to direct their own work. Read the Prairie Voice Archive at Boles.com | Buy his books at David Boles Books Writing & Publishing at BolesBooks.com | Study with Script Professor at ScriptProfessor.com | Touch American Sign Language mastery at Hardcore ASL at HardcoreASL.com | Explore the Human Meme podcast at HumanMeme.com | Train with Boles Bells at BolesBells.com.
    David W. Boles says:

    I remember Pizza Hut being very good. Domino’s is still just as you describe. I guess they were risking their current customers in their “all new” recipe — except nothing has changed.

  5. ANNE – I live and teach on the upper West Coast of the United States. My interests are Philosophy, English, and Social Communication.
    anne90210 says:

    Ok so I tried it just to see what you were saying and now I can confirm how right you are. It’s just disgusting. They’ve given up. What a horrible taste it is.

  6. David Boles – New York City – David Boles was born in Nebraska and holds an MFA from the Oscar Hammerstein II Center for Theatre Studies at Columbia University in the City of New York. He is an author, dramatist, editor, publisher, and teacher who writes across the live stage, print, radio, television, film, and the web. With more than 50 books in print, David continues to write 2MM words a year and has authored over 25K articles. He is a member of the Dramatists Guild, the Authors Guild, and PEN America, and founded The United Stage advocacy platform on the principle that playwrights have a duty to direct their own work. Read the Prairie Voice Archive at Boles.com | Buy his books at David Boles Books Writing & Publishing at BolesBooks.com | Study with Script Professor at ScriptProfessor.com | Touch American Sign Language mastery at Hardcore ASL at HardcoreASL.com | Explore the Human Meme podcast at HumanMeme.com | Train with Boles Bells at BolesBells.com.
    David W. Boles says:

    Next time you’ll listen to me. Heh.

  7. I use to enjoy old dominos. Not joking. I tried the new reicpe once cause our crappy motel was affiliated with it. A sign it was shitty. You could smell the herbs even before you opened the box. The taste? *shudders*

    1. David Boles – New York City – David Boles was born in Nebraska and holds an MFA from the Oscar Hammerstein II Center for Theatre Studies at Columbia University in the City of New York. He is an author, dramatist, editor, publisher, and teacher who writes across the live stage, print, radio, television, film, and the web. With more than 50 books in print, David continues to write 2MM words a year and has authored over 25K articles. He is a member of the Dramatists Guild, the Authors Guild, and PEN America, and founded The United Stage advocacy platform on the principle that playwrights have a duty to direct their own work. Read the Prairie Voice Archive at Boles.com | Buy his books at David Boles Books Writing & Publishing at BolesBooks.com | Study with Script Professor at ScriptProfessor.com | Touch American Sign Language mastery at Hardcore ASL at HardcoreASL.com | Explore the Human Meme podcast at HumanMeme.com | Train with Boles Bells at BolesBells.com.
      David Boles says:

      It’s definitely unfortunate that Domino’s changed who they intended to be. Now they’re more cheap diner food than superior pizza!

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