There’s nothing quite so disturbing as posting an update on Facebook and then having a guy with a fake name try to take you on by defending — or “understanding,” as he put it — why a parent would strike a child because of stress.  I said then, and I say now, “I do not, and will never, understand why any parent would raise a hand to any child.”  I’m not being dramatic or presumptive.  I’m being factual.

It all started when I posted a link I posted to my article — How Home Foreclosures Trickle Down into Child Abuse — and the guy with the fake name put a comment on that update.  At first, I thought he was agreeing with me, but it turned out he was really defending the abuser, as you can see in the message stream:

In case you can’t read the conversation on Facebook, or if are having trouble viewing the  screenshot of the comments thread, here is the last set of call and response:

ME: I will never understand why a parent would abuse a child. You didn’t answer if you understand Jerry Sandusky or not. If yes, why? If not, why not? What’s the difference in your mind — if there is one.

FAKE NAME GUY: You shifted your ground. The initial context was, as I recall, one-off physical attack, not ongoing maltreatment, which I cannot comprehend, unless the parent is mentally damaged.. I do not know what happened to Sandusky so I have ot say I do nto understand.

ME: I haven’t shifted anything. You’re trying to hide behind a single condition that you believe is non-condemnable and I am calling you out on your immoral duplicity. Either you “understand” the abuser of a child in all conditions and examples or you do not — you cannot claim one niche without encompassing everything else that comes with the cover. If you “understand” why a parent would abuse their child because they lost their house, then I certainly believe you would also “understand” the abuse of a child at the hands of a man like Jerry Sandusky. There’s no wiggle room. You either understand or you do not. You have made it clear you “understand” the abuser. I do not understand the abuser in any condition or circumstance.

I don’t know why I was surprised by this conversation.  There are millions of people in the world, and if everyone behaved as they should, and actually believed in what they say they stand for, we wouldn’t have Batman killings, or pretend lynchings of Black schoolchildren, or people with fake names trying to troll you on Facebook.

10 Comments

  1. I think perhaps this person meant “understand” to mean that the why of these abusers seemed clear to him, and he was condemning them for using this excuse. Maybe I’m misreading him. Silly fake namers.

    1. David Boles – New York City – David Boles was born in Nebraska and holds an MFA from the Oscar Hammerstein II Center for Theatre Studies at Columbia University in the City of New York. He is an author, dramatist, editor, publisher, and teacher who writes across the live stage, print, radio, television, film, and the web. With more than 50 books in print, David continues to write 2MM words a year and has authored over 25K articles. He is a member of the Dramatists Guild, the Authors Guild, and PEN America, and founded The United Stage advocacy platform on the principle that playwrights have a duty to direct their own work. Read the Prairie Voice Archive at Boles.com | Buy his books at David Boles Books Writing & Publishing at BolesBooks.com | Study with Script Professor at ScriptProfessor.com | Touch American Sign Language mastery at Hardcore ASL at HardcoreASL.com | Explore the Human Meme podcast at HumanMeme.com | Train with Boles Bells at BolesBells.com.
      David W. Boles says:

      I’m surprised Facebook allows fake name identities. I thought they were all about security and safety now?

      1. Facebook has no way of knowing if people are real or not. I humbly submit the following as evidence :

        http://imgur.com/2Bf5Q

        What is more likely — that these people are named Sims or that they created the accounts in order to play the Sims? 🙂

        1. David Boles – New York City – David Boles was born in Nebraska and holds an MFA from the Oscar Hammerstein II Center for Theatre Studies at Columbia University in the City of New York. He is an author, dramatist, editor, publisher, and teacher who writes across the live stage, print, radio, television, film, and the web. With more than 50 books in print, David continues to write 2MM words a year and has authored over 25K articles. He is a member of the Dramatists Guild, the Authors Guild, and PEN America, and founded The United Stage advocacy platform on the principle that playwrights have a duty to direct their own work. Read the Prairie Voice Archive at Boles.com | Buy his books at David Boles Books Writing & Publishing at BolesBooks.com | Study with Script Professor at ScriptProfessor.com | Touch American Sign Language mastery at Hardcore ASL at HardcoreASL.com | Explore the Human Meme podcast at HumanMeme.com | Train with Boles Bells at BolesBells.com.
          David W. Boles says:

          I submit this in rebuttal, Gordon!

          What names are allowed on Facebook?

          Facebook is a community where people use their real identities. We require everyone to provide their real names, so you always know who you’re connecting with.

          Names can’t include:

          Symbols, numbers, or unusual capitalization or punctuation

          Characters from multiple languages

          Professional, religious, or military titles

          Words, phrases, or nicknames in place of a middle name

          Offensive or suggestive content of any kind

          Other things to keep in mind:

          The name you use should be your real name as it would be listed on your credit card, student ID, etc.

          Nicknames can be used as a first or middle name if they’re a variation of your real first or last name (like Bob instead of Robert)

          You can also list another name on your account (ex: maiden name, nickname, or professional name), by adding an alternate name to your profile (timeline)

          Only one person’s name should be listed on the account – profiles (timelines) are for individual use only

          Pretending to be anything or anyone is not allowed

          https://www.facebook.com/help/search/?q=name

          2. David Boles – New York City – David Boles was born in Nebraska and holds an MFA from the Oscar Hammerstein II Center for Theatre Studies at Columbia University in the City of New York. He is an author, dramatist, editor, publisher, and teacher who writes across the live stage, print, radio, television, film, and the web. With more than 50 books in print, David continues to write 2MM words a year and has authored over 25K articles. He is a member of the Dramatists Guild, the Authors Guild, and PEN America, and founded The United Stage advocacy platform on the principle that playwrights have a duty to direct their own work. Read the Prairie Voice Archive at Boles.com | Buy his books at David Boles Books Writing & Publishing at BolesBooks.com | Study with Script Professor at ScriptProfessor.com | Touch American Sign Language mastery at Hardcore ASL at HardcoreASL.com | Explore the Human Meme podcast at HumanMeme.com | Train with Boles Bells at BolesBells.com.
            David W. Boles says:

            I think Facebook enforces the rule if a fake name become an issue. I discovered today when you block someone on Facebook, one of the reasons you can provide to the Facebook support team is — “Fake Name” — and then they’ll take care of it.

          4. David Boles – New York City – David Boles was born in Nebraska and holds an MFA from the Oscar Hammerstein II Center for Theatre Studies at Columbia University in the City of New York. He is an author, dramatist, editor, publisher, and teacher who writes across the live stage, print, radio, television, film, and the web. With more than 50 books in print, David continues to write 2MM words a year and has authored over 25K articles. He is a member of the Dramatists Guild, the Authors Guild, and PEN America, and founded The United Stage advocacy platform on the principle that playwrights have a duty to direct their own work. Read the Prairie Voice Archive at Boles.com | Buy his books at David Boles Books Writing & Publishing at BolesBooks.com | Study with Script Professor at ScriptProfessor.com | Touch American Sign Language mastery at Hardcore ASL at HardcoreASL.com | Explore the Human Meme podcast at HumanMeme.com | Train with Boles Bells at BolesBells.com.
            David W. Boles says:

            REPORT IT! smile.

  2. ANNE – I live and teach on the upper West Coast of the United States. My interests are Philosophy, English, and Social Communication.
    ANNE says:

    I am glad to see Facebook requires real names. I’m not sure how much that is enforced.

    1. David Boles – New York City – David Boles was born in Nebraska and holds an MFA from the Oscar Hammerstein II Center for Theatre Studies at Columbia University in the City of New York. He is an author, dramatist, editor, publisher, and teacher who writes across the live stage, print, radio, television, film, and the web. With more than 50 books in print, David continues to write 2MM words a year and has authored over 25K articles. He is a member of the Dramatists Guild, the Authors Guild, and PEN America, and founded The United Stage advocacy platform on the principle that playwrights have a duty to direct their own work. Read the Prairie Voice Archive at Boles.com | Buy his books at David Boles Books Writing & Publishing at BolesBooks.com | Study with Script Professor at ScriptProfessor.com | Touch American Sign Language mastery at Hardcore ASL at HardcoreASL.com | Explore the Human Meme podcast at HumanMeme.com | Train with Boles Bells at BolesBells.com.
      David W. Boles says:

      I don’t think it is much enforced, Anne, but I am glad the rule is there to be used as needed.

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