The other day I was engulfed in a fascinating conversation about the differences in sexuality and beauty between cultures when my young Nigerian female friend blurted out during our talk, “You know Black chicks want White dicks, right?”
My friend was born in Nigeria and she has two Masters degrees in business and design. She self-identifies as a “Beautiful Black Nigerian Princess” when pressed. Her father is a successful New York insurance salesman. Her mother sells real estate.
I was taken aback a bit — okay, a lot! — when she shouted “Black Chicks Want White Dicks!” at me and so I just stood there with my mouth open — The Whitest Man in America dumbly staring back at her lovely Black Nigerian face — and I didn’t know what to say.
She spoke instead, “Dark Black women like me — so dark we’re purple!
— need White dick. It isn’t a sex thing. It’s a reproduction thing.
It’s a basic need. It’s a genetic demand, if you will.”
If I nodded, I hoped she’d continue talking as I kept trying to think of something to say in response her to argument.
I nodded.
She continued, “The dirty little secret in the Black community is no one really wants to be Black if there’s a choice. Sure, Black is Beautiful when you’re stuck in it, but when you have babies and you’re dark, you want to lighten up your future skins and you can’t do that with a Black man. Black on Black makes Black. You need to mix in some White with the Black to get something new. It’s a science project; a math problem that needs to get solved.
You need some White in you to make lighter babies. It’s art. It’s a promise. It’s a mother’s duty to give her children the best chance at a better life and you do that by getting them less purple at any cost. Even a cultural one.”
I decided to nod again.
She continued on, “No, this isn’t racism. This is fact. The thing about White girls “never going back after they taste Black” is just about sex and it’s tacky. Crass, even. It disgusts me. I’m talking about long-term reproduction here. A higher leaning.
I’m talking about the propagation of future generations and there aren’t a lot of American-born Black women who are brave enough to discuss this out loud. I’m Nigerian and I’ll discuss this with anyone who has an open heart all day long because you convince people with your mind and not your skin color.”
I nodded once.
She continued with even more urgency, “We’re all going to be tawny one day anyway because that’s the nature of beauty and sexuality. We’re all attracted to each other in ways that need to get beyond color — but rarely do — and we have to even out the inequity between White and Black as identifications on the color line first. You do that by mixing colors, not letting them run from you.”
I nodded.
She finished, “Don’t look at me like that! If you think about it, you know it’s true. It’s a hard thing to be this Black in this world. How many of us this dark purple are well-known and successful? Where are my internationally recognized cultural icons? All I see on the news in my color are African despots and murderers on Death Row. I want that example for my babies? I don’t think so! We need to confront the problem straight up and accept that the way to nullify the racial divide is to get rid of the marks separating us. You do that with future generations that are all the same color. The same hue. Similar tones. I don’t call it “race mixing” I call it “brewing a better stew.”
Do you get it now?”
I nodded a little bit.
She shook her head at me and sighed and changed the subject to the aesthetic differences between cultures when it comes to clothes — women in pants vs. women in dresses — and identifying and judging accessories based on stereotypes like scarves and jewelry as I continued my internal fight to wash the phrase — “Black Chicks Want White Dicks” — out of my head.
Is my friend right about the genetic need to evolve beyond mere color?
Is “brewing a better stew” a good idea or a bad idea and what do we risk losing in the ingestion of the act?
Is it true — either universally or culturally — that “Black Chicks Want White Dicks?”