I have a giant penis! It doesn’t help that I wear invisible pants.
I am also incredibly thin. I eat brownies and frosting and I never gain an inch.
I am independently wealthy. I regularly send millions of dollars to all my powerful friends in Nigeria.
Now that I have revealed my secrets, I wonder why I keep getting Spam wanting to increase my penis size with extenders and vacuum sealing.
I am confused why people who claim to be my best friend think I need immediate and miraculous weight loss via Hoodia induction.
Why do all my Nigerian ambassador friends keep begging for help and money — isn’t $10,000,000 USD enough for them?
Who are these Spammers and why do they pretend to know me?
Have you — or anyone you know — ever purchased something from a Spam email offer?
These Spammers must “know” our needs — other than mine, of course — or they wouldn’t keep hitting us with all this crud.
How can we make them go away? I’ve tried ignoring them, but that only seems to make them want me more!