The Problem with Hillary is Bill’s Penis

There. I said in the headline of this article what Donald Trump has been bumping up against all this week — “Hillary is unelectable because her husband’s penis ruined his presidency and our America” — and, in many respects, that argument is uncomfortably right on target, especially for those of us who are old enough, and wizened enough, to remember the Bad Old Days of the Clinton presidency that ended mired in vaginal cigar penetration and accusations of rape against a sitting president.

Even Hillary’s odd and off-putting campaign logo for 2016 can be semiotically read as an erect, red, penis — not just the tip penetrating a blue barrier — but plunging through it as well. From the moment I saw that awful campaign logo I knew she was in trouble. Either someone on Hillary’s staff is playing with her, or she really is as bad a personality-less campaigner as she claims.

Who the hell wants to relive Bill Clinton penis stories for the next six months? And yet that’s the legacy before us as Hillary reminds us of his angry, red, act every day with that penetrating cock logo!

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Social Terrorism and the Catholic War Against Gender: 8,000 Child Sexual Assaults and No Birth Control Allowed

When it comes to gender discrimination, the Catholic Church is trying to have it both ways in the public square.  On one hand, Bishops claim women do not own their bodies and must not practice birth control and that every woman should be denied free contraception coverage by their employers — while the other hand is silently jerking off 8,000 children in the Archdiocese of Milwaukee:

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MTV’s 16 and Pregnant Reveals Punishing Sorrows

We all know abstinence, as a birth control method, is not a good way to avoid pregnancy because the failure rate for abstinence is 100% if a tiny drop of a mistake is made — and many young people today have variable definitions of sex that goes far beyond simple penile penetration of the vagina.  You have your sloppy oral sex.  You have your crude anal sex.  You have your various raw rubbings and rubbery gruntings in the back seats of cars and on den sofas.  You don’t know when a drip or a dribble might take a turn for the worse and a baby is the made as the result of a quick-release lust.  MTV has a terrific show called — 16 and Pregnant — and it is a magnificent piece of reality television that puts the truth to the lie that unplanned teen pregnancies, and unwed teen moms, are something to be celebrated in the media.

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Editorial Paranoia: I Know a Penis When I Read One

The role of the editor is an important one.  A good editor is more facilitator than censor.  When I am editing the precious work of other writers, I always try to cling to their clarity instead of embossing my prejudices and belief systems into the work.  Editors must honor the author’s original intention while also respecting the sense of a universal perception that what has been written can easily be read and understood.

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Lady GaGa Crotch Watch Saga

Is Lady GaGa a hermaphrodite?  Should it matter if she has a vagina or a penis or neither or both?  Are you aware of the intensive “Lady GaGa Cock Watch” movement — especially in the UK — that investigates that patch of flesh that makes up her groin?  There are serious efforts on the Internet to try to figure out if Lady GaGa is packing a penis… or not.

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My Old Kentucky Penis

Subliminal advertising — using semiotic images to suggest sexuality in magazine and print advertising that could only be read by the subconscious mind — had its heyday in the 1970’s as ice cubes in the shape of breasts appeared in liquor ads and, the most famous example by far, was Farrah Fawcett’s bestselling poster with “Sex” written with the curls of her hair. The “S” starts on her shoulder and your eye can make out an “e” near her chest and a twisted “x” above her left breast and under her armpit.  I can guarantee you the young, horny, boys of the mid-70’s like me were never looking at her hair…

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The Tropicana Nipple

PepsiCo have done it again!  First, they re-designed the Pepsi bottle to look like a wrinkled penis and now they have recalled the redesigned Tropicana orange juice carton because the cap — in the shape of half an orange — actually looks like a human nipple.

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