Geriatric Checklist

by Marianne Stein

If you can check off three or more items on this list, then Welcome To the Club (age there’s the rub.)

Teeth in a glass
Itch in your ass
Watery eyes
Comforting lies
Soft fragile bones
Hoarse squeaky tones
Sprouting of hair
When none was there
Age Spots appearing
Hardness of hearing
Musty breath
Hints of death
Stomach Dyspeptic
Pace slow – not hectic
Hesitant gait
Friends irritate
Poor circulation
No concentration
Start to get stooped
Always feel pooped
Aches and Pains
Whenever it rains
Blood Pressure soars
Down on all fours
Drool and Piss(ies)
It’s not for Sissies
Memory loss…
Kids become boss…
The End.