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Begging for My Mother: Find A Grave and the Strangers Who Collect Our Dead

This morning I signed into Find A Grave to update my mother’s memorial and discovered that I no longer manage her page. No email warned me. Nothing in my account records the change. Six family memorials, five of them sponsored with my own money in the weeks after my mother died, and my name has been stripped from every one. The site that once made me beg for custody of my own dead has taken that custody back, in silence, and left me to discover the loss the way you discover a missing wallet: by reaching for something that should be there.

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Enthymemes: The Argument You Finish Yourself

“Because you’re worth it.” Four words, running in L’Oréal advertising since 1971, and by the time you reached the period you had already done the heavy lifting. No one told you that personal worth justifies the purchase, that expensive cosmetics are how worth gets expressed, that you in particular qualify for the category. You supplied every one of those claims yourself, silently, in the half second the slogan allowed. The advertiser handed over a conclusion and trusted you to build the staircase leading up to it.

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Eighteen Years Under One Banner: The BolesBlogs Constellation at Thirty

Today marks the eighteenth anniversary of the Boles Blogs Network gathering under a single domain. That formation date is 2008. Writing under one of the network’s earlier names, however, began much earlier, in 1996, when Go Inside Magazine opened a small storefront on a web that still ran on dial tone and patience. The full arc now covers thirty years, fourteen blogs gathered under the BolesBlogs banner, a sister site on SquareSpace launched during the pandemic, and a stubborn argument about what publishing ought to feel like when the writer answers to nobody but the reader.

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Your Three-Year-Old Already Knows the Brand Name

Watch a three-year-old in a grocery store. Watch her eyes when you turn into the cereal aisle. Her gaze is not scanning the shelves the way you scan them, evaluating prices and nutritional labels and unit costs. A search is underway. The child already knows what she wants, and she knows it by name, and she knows the name because a screen taught it to her before she could read the word printed on the box. The box appears in her sightline. A finger goes up. The name comes out of her mouth. You have just witnessed the end product of a commercial pedagogy that has been operating in American media for more than fifty years, and the child has no idea it happened to her.

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Best of David Boles, Blogs: Vol. 12 (2021) is Available to Buy Now!

It’s that time of the year again — yes, time for us to ask for the pleasure of your continued, kind, support for this blog by joyously buying our eBook — Best of David Boles, Blogs: Vol. 12 (2021) — to show your support so we may continue to publish this blog without advertising while still being able to cover our yearly, ongoing, online publication costs that include server space, hosting fees, and bandwidth payments.

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The Sponsored Post Brigade

I’m not sure what’s going on with this blog, and my verified Facebook page, but over the last few months, I’ve been getting lots of requests — more than usual — to add paid links in my old articles as well as being offered “thousands of dollars” to post advertising on my Facebook page.

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Best of David Boles, Blogs: Vol. 11 (2020) is Ready for Purchase!

2020 is almost over! Yay! The end of the year is also a time to celebrate you and your ongoing support for David Boles, Blogs. We appreciate your readership, and if you are so inclined, we’d love it if you purchased our eBook of the “Best of” articles we published in 2020. Buying our eBook — Best of David Boles, Blogs: Vol. 11 (2020) —  is one great way to help us cover our ongoing online publication costs.

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