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Bidding Farewell to Angelina Jolie’s Beautiful Breasts

In today’s New York Times, Angelina Jolie shares the story of her decision to have a double mastectomy after her BRCA1 and BRCA2 tests came back with bad news:

My doctors estimated that I had an 87 percent risk of breast cancer and a 50 percent risk of ovarian cancer, although the risk is different in the case of each woman.

As a red-blooded American boy back in 1998, I remember when Angelina Jolie set the world afire in her debut as Gia, the star-crossed SuperModel.  The hallmark of Angelina’s performance was the baring of her beautiful and natural breasts that became their own phenomenal meme in the lives of all young men long before there was an active internet.  The Google now preserves that original beautiful and naturalistic naked memory — and here’s the start of the stunner that became the star:

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Dick Clark Died a Rich Man

Dick Clark died yesterday, and the news of his passing is covered in the disingenuous and condescending lede — “Oldest Living Teenager is Dead at 82 from a Heart Attack” — and I just stand there and why why the lamestream media have to live up to their cloying, and earned, nickname every single day.

On January 2, 2006, I wrote about Dick Clark in Urban Semiotic — Dick Clark Human Speech — and his amazing comeback from a stroke that adversely affected his speech:

We’re imperfect and sometimes human speech is breezy and sometimes you have to struggle to understand what is being spoken. There is no doubt, however, that Dick Clark was brave and daring to make such a bold return to television — brave and daring and bold are also hallmarks of Clark’s career — and the lesson many of us now know is if Dick Clark can risk his legacy, reputation and quality-of-life to show us just how devastating a stroke can be to a personality, a family and a man, then we’re all better off for having him triumphantly return to network television to stare down Death with us live on the air.

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Is a Kardashian-Free Year Too Much To Ask?

It has been nearly five years since the world exploded with the news that there was a sex tape that starred then mostly unknown Kim Kardashian, daughter of the late high profile attorney Robert Kardashian (read — someone who worked hard to get to be as successful as he was) and musician Ray J. This sex tape was of course filmed in complete discretion and was never meant to be seen by anyone but a private small group of people — perhaps only the two people that were in the tape.

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Celebrity Opt Out Day

Yesterday, a bunch of B-List celebrities decided “to die” to save the world:  It was “Celebrity Opt Out Day” if you will.  These faux-celebs wouldn’t really be dead, though.  They’d only be pretending to be gone — by not posting anything to their social networks like Twitter and Facebook — but we were supposed to be upset that they were dead so we’d donate our money to their cause of healing lives from HIV/AIDS in Africa and India.  Great notion.  Terrible execution.

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Ted Nugent Refuses to Sign Autographs

If you ask madman rocker Ted Nugent for an autograph, he won’t give you one even though he’s a celebrity and he wants to honor his fans.  Why is Ted shunning signing his name?  The answer is both human and economic.

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