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Johnny Carson and that Icy, Midwestern Stare

When I was growing up in Nebraska, the favorite son was, and probably still is — Johnny Carson — he made it big in late-night television and he and his estate have donated millions of dollars to the University of Nebraska-Lincoln.  I was always terrified watching Johnny Carson because I knew what few others outside of Nebraska knew — he was a cunning and cold man, and if you needed any evidence of such, you need only look into his steely, dead, eyes.  Carson had cruel, killer, shark eyes — and his message was not “I’m warm and friendly!” but rather, “Watch out; and leave me me alone!”

He’d rather kill you than kiss you.

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Elementary Education: Amway or My Way

Education is invaluable, and when opportunities for expansion and cohesion are negated, everyone suffers.  I am reminded of such a situation from many years ago in elementary school that I have now dubbed — “Amway or My Way” — and I will share that recollection with you now.

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Why I Could Never Live in California

When you grow up cold in the Midwest, one of the first impulses is to flee from the gloominess and the misery surrounding you:  No oceans.  Few lakes.  Lots of ponds.  Faraway mountains in non-neighboring states encapsulate you and make Summers stiflingly hot and humidified.  When we reach the age of consent in our time of reason, many of us bolt West to Los Angeles or East to New York.  Not many head up North to Minneapolis or Chicago and, fewer still, move Southward to Kansas City.  If you are a tender Californian, I urge you to stop reading this article right now.  You will not be happy with the continuation of my argument.

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The Siamese Twins that Weren’t. Or Were They?

Images speak a thousand lessons.  Certain images have such an innate power that they invoke an entire, dramatic, telling without you needing to know anything about the history of the characters or the provenance of the propagating emotion.  Meet twins Willy and Lily.  Lily is upside-down.  We were sent their photograph over the weekend.  They are the newest one-year-old members of our extended family in the Midwest.  Willy and Lily are not Siamese Twins.  Or are they?  I suppose it depends on what you know and who you choose to believe.

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Nebraska Cancels William Ayers

In a strange move that I unfortunately recognize, but will never condone, the University of Nebraska-Lincoln played a coward’s hand by going back on their word and canceling a speech by William Ayers.

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American Hungering: Starving Freedom on Food Stamps

What happens to a free nation and a freedom of spirit when the economy is so bad families are forced to go on food stamps in order to survive? Freedom dies in growling stomachs.

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Pimping Out Chelsea Clinton

The Clintons cried wolf last week while basking in the indignity of their outrage and the perceived national indifference to the offense of their suffering! Why is Hillary Clinton so easily offended — while the same sort of attacks wash off the back of Barack Obama?

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