Forget Florida and Arizona as the final destination of carefree living for retirees.

Over the next generation, Colorado and Minnesota will become the new safe-haven for those wishing to spend their Golden Years in comfort as Global Warming trends continue to suffocate and fry us.

No one will want to face the steaming oceans or the baking desert in the coming perpetual heat wave.

We will instead seek out the solace of the cold and the soothing of the snow in order to preserve our burning bodies and to calm our boiling minds.