I confess to being a whore for American Idol. I have watched the show every year and every year it gets worse and worse. The pinnacle of its awfulness is now Ellen DeGeneres — who wouldn’t know funny if it ran up and bit her on the ear — but I digress. If you’re an Idol fan like me, you know the show is never about finding the best singer. American Idol is all about packaging a face and a body that can sell records — and that’s why I am telling you this year’s obvious winner of American Idol 9 is Ashley Rodriguez.