There was a news report the other day tolling the death knell for male chivalry in the city because “gender equality” now means men no longer feel obligated by the historic expectation of society to give up their train or bus or subway seat to a woman.
When the heat soars and The Girls in Their Summer Dresses are on parade, the penises come out, hands start grabbing for flesh, and the whole world becomes hot and bothered!
A Recent New York Times article unmasked the ugly truth of the Summer subway underworld:
Women know the drill. Just as some men reflexively check to see if they have their wallets on a crowded train, women check their bodies.
Pull in your backside and your front. Wedge a large bag for protection between yourself and the nearest anonymous male rider, who might, just might, be planning something. Put on your fiercest face, and brace yourself for contact that seems too deliberate to be accidental, too prolonged to be random.
Today on the New York City subway and bus system, the following behavior violations will get you $100 file and 10 days in jail:
Jumping turnstiles even with a valid MetroCard
Straddling a bicycle
Wearing in-line or roller skates
Standing on a skateboard or scooter
Moving between subway car end doors when stopped or moving
Placing feet on subway, bus and platform bench seats Putting bags on an empty seat when the train or bus is crowded
Drinking anything
What is amazing is how some New Yorkers need to be threatened with fines and jail to temper their bad behavior. All the bullet points on that list address common sense and common courtesy. It’s unfortunate so many people resist the notion of naturally doing the right thing to get along with other people.
In a previous discussion here about Coughing in the Crook we discussed the use of special “Vomit Pants” that are worn when one takes public transportation.
Some train and bus seats are created completely of plastic so it is a simpler task to avoid a puddle of urine or that bit of dried vomitus waiting to stain your slacks.
The newer busses and trains, however, cleverly use an industrial strength fabric that conceals most disgusting human remnants and provides no visual forewarning before you sit and, therefore, Vomit Pants become the required uniform of the day to avoid messing your good clothes in the muddle of others.
Do you have a special pair of Vomit Pants you wear on the train, bus or airplane to preserve your real outfit for the day? Or do you just risk sitting in someone else’s spew and piddle and let your pants be damned?
by Malaika Booker-Wright
I stared down the set of steep cement steps that lead to the “A” train and hesitated.
“Gal! Come on! Mark and Len will protect us. And you only have four stops after me and Mark get off.”
I walked down the steps with Kim, Mark, and Len, feeling that none of them could protect me if need be.
You must be logged in to post a comment.