When Gwyneth Paltrow Sings, Ears Ache

It’s always an immensely sad moment in entertainment history when a movie actor steps forward to pretend, and then claim in an unfortunate public, on-the-record, performance, that they can sing when they cannot.  We last saw that sort of faux singing in Joaquin Phoenix’s Johnny Cash movie and now, today, we have the same inglorious example in Gwyneth “The Goop” Paltrow’s incredibly bad turn in her new movie, “Country Strong.”  Here is a screenshot of Paltrow recently “singing live” at the Country Music Awards.  She closes her eyes throughout most of the song as she tries to land the right notes in a simple melody.  Gwyneth sings.  We cringe.

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Tommy Tune and Guzintas and Getoutzahs

Tommy Tune — one of the tallest and most imaginative directors and choreographers on Broadway — loves to button a scene, but he also takes the idea of a button one step beyond by needing to create a proper “Guzinta” that dramatically leads one scene into another.  “Guzinta” is Tommy Tune shorthand for “goes into” and the idea behind the ideal is quite necessary, precise and well-reasoned.

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