Celebrity Opt Out Day

Yesterday, a bunch of B-List celebrities decided “to die” to save the world:  It was “Celebrity Opt Out Day” if you will.  These faux-celebs wouldn’t really be dead, though.  They’d only be pretending to be gone — by not posting anything to their social networks like Twitter and Facebook — but we were supposed to be upset that they were dead so we’d donate our money to their cause of healing lives from HIV/AIDS in Africa and India.  Great notion.  Terrible execution.

Last night, all the celebrities cobbled together had only raised $63,661.00USD — and they can’t “come back to life” until they raise a $1 million — and for these B-List fame whores, a day without Twitter is like a life without oxygen.  They’re suffering, yo!  So pay up, dang!

When I checked the total 18 hours later, only $160,590.00USD had been raised.  At this rate, they’re all going to be dead for a week and we’ll all forget who they are!

I’m betting by the end of day three, they’ll all open their pockets — as they should have done in the beginning instead of setting up this false hope Ponzi scheme of emotional kidnapping of their fans and emotional terrorism against a just cause — and dump their total over the million dollar mark so they can arise, awaken and start bombarding us again with meaningless dross of how wonderful they all were to die for HIV/AIDS children.

Has-been child actor Danny Bonaduce of Partridge Family fame pinned down the ridiculousness of this silly trick:

What kind of fight begins with quitting something? Bonaduce began.

“Isn’t it sort of emotional blackmail? Ryan Seacrest isn’t going to tell me he just pet his cat until I offer some money?” he continued.

“I think this is a mistake the way they are doing this,” he said.

“Doesn’t that seem like an abuse of power in a way, that you don’t get to see what Kim Kardashian is up to?” Bonaduce continued. “. . . And didn’t Ryan Seacrest just sign a contract for $60 million? Do I really need Lady Gaga to tell me about her meat dress, and until she does, I have to give money? How about if these three get together and just put up $333,000 each and take care of the million bucks on their own since the American public pays their salary in the first place? Why don’t they make the first step and put up the first million, rather than blackmail me on the minor musings about their days?”

Some of the B-Listers actually fake their deaths inside a casket.

While other B-Listers who couldn’t make the time to roll over and play dead, only have their craven image planted in the casket for viewing.

National Celebrity Opt Out Day is as horrible and treacly idea as Stand Up to Cancer.  If these famous people really cared about a cause, and not just their own publicity — they would silently, and without fanfare or recognition — donate their own money and make sure real good was being done with their fame-tainted blood money.

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