We are taught to believe everyone is created equal — but is that a hard reality or a soft myth? We are raised to confirm marriages and dedicated relationships are evenly split: 50/50 until the end of time; and the concept is pounded into us that 51/49 is discriminatory and never acceptable. We learn about the community notion how we all share in everything equally to create a proper society.

Are those ideals of total, equal, unbound fairness created by those in power who wish to control and manipulate the minority interest; or are the ideas created by the repressed minority in order to forgive their station? Isn’t the Master/Slave dyad a proven force that cannot be changed or wished away by 50/50 evenness? If everyone is equal then aren’t we all required to live in decaying stasis?

The Master/Slave dyad is rich with historic significance and proof of cultural currency. Master/Slave is a common relationship between two hard drives in one computer. Master/Slave is a proven — if reprehensible — successful economic formula for farming and construction. Master/Slave is popular practice embedded in some sexual relationships. Master/Slave is culturally celebrated in song. Are all dyads required to have one side dominant and the other submissive?

Can two submissives live together? Can two dominants share the same space? Is it wrong or is it proper to expect one to be stronger than the other and for both sides to enjoy and appreciate the inequal experience together?

Is there a necessary evolutionary pleasure in the Master/Slave dyad that must be ignited, tended and honored; or must we continue to pretend to despise the Master and pity the Slave?

19 Comments

  1. The concept of an equal society sounds very alluring, but somewhat utopian in reality. To be a part of an equal society everyone has to look equal, earn equal, spend equal and so on…
    As long as there is a little variation in any aspect of life – there will be difference.
    Will my neighbor, who is a billionaire will share his wealth with me just because I want to be equal with him? He might, if he is very generous…but in most cases he will ask me to earn it.
    Can I ask someone to share some of his possession with me just because he/she is has it in abundance? Will he/she? Willfully? I doubt it.
    If we ever become equal, can we glorify success? Can we applaud someone for his/her achievement?
    As far as my knowledge goes the core value of this society has two diametrically opposite dimension – one is freedom and another is equality. But it is hard to find a balance between the two.
    Slavery has a deep connotation with depriving one’s personal freedom but I think the freer we are, chances are we will become less equal.
    I don’t think we need oppression or torture in the name of domination anymore but we definitely need the difference and competition in life.

  2. There’s no such thing as an equal relationship, David. Everyone has to face someone more powerful or less powerful than them and find a way to interact with that changing power structure.

  3. It’s a difficult negotiation, David, when both parties consider themselves equal and then it comes down to decision making or sex or living condition and one makes a choice on the behalf of the other.

  4. Marriage is a different ballgame altogether David! It requires compassion, if I stay busy calculating my share of gain or loss in a relationship then I better be in a race field rather than in a marriage. Personally I think there needs to be room for breathing in a relationship. This hair splitting compartmentalization might split the relationship one day…but again it depends on the people those who are in it.
    In 99.9% cases when two adult individuals decide to share the rest of their life together the most important factor becomes the finance. It is implied that who is economically more powerful has more power in a relationship/marriage and economical imbalance can create havoc in a relationship, but again that depends on the understanding between the two. Life can be and usually is measured in terms of money, so is marriage – unfortunately. If two people want to share their life together then they have to compromise, the question of weighing/measuring equality shouldn’t be a factor.
    One of my friends is an associate editor in a scientific journal and travels a lot. His wife is a computer engineer, works in the field of IT. Recently my friend went to Switzerland to attend a conference; he wanted his wife to accompany him so they can spend some time together. My friend traveled in business class/ first class because his office sponsored him, his wife traveled in economy class in the same flight. This was accepted by both of them as something very natural.
    Well, that’s them…and they are happy that way – I won’t be.

  5. That is wild analysis, Katha, thank you!
    😀
    Why didn’t they pay to upgrade the wife to business/first class?!!
    It’s too bad that money so often regulates the power in a relationship.
    Even if the person earning the most is indifferent, the indifference is only pretend.
    Why is money the deciding factor and not, say, moral fiber?

  6. Money seems to be the most deciding factor, because it provides, helps to pay the bills. People earn it by putting effort and they don’t want to share it as a mere example of generosity. It is a readily available measure of someone’s effort. At least, it is viewed that way.
    My point is, why the ‘wife’ didn’t pay for herself to fly the business class? Why didn’t the ‘husband’? Why both of them didn’t do anything about it without waiting for something to be done by the office? Probably because it was very natural for them to accept the difference.
    I would accept it if it was between two acquiantances instead of a couple.

  7. Hi Katha!
    It’s too bad that money is the deciding factor in the worth of a relationship. For so many years the husband “earned the money” while the “wife” toiled at home all day long with three kids and was paid nothing and he’s yet the dominant force in the relationship because he works in an office instead of a home?
    I agree. The couple was no couple and the proof was in the disparity of the seating arrangements.

  8. Well David, working at home and getting paid nothing was not respected enough…because it was not measurable in terms of effort. Even in today’s date, if someone earns less he/she will travel economy class where their partner will fly business – because that is earned!
    Sad.
    I just realized something interesting.
    Neither you nor me thought about another possibility – why didn’t the husband fly economy class?
    Is that the irony of equality that it is always desired with something superior? 😀

  9. Yes, it is, but there is no reward to quantify it. So, it is not generally accepted by the mass as something’earned’.
    The evolutionary mobility sounds interesting – no doubt!

  10. I read something interesting about how some men rebel against their dominant wives.

    “Psychologists have known for some time that reactance can cause a person to work in opposition to another person’s desires,” Chartrand said. “We wanted to know whether reactance could occur even when exposure to a significant other, and their associated wishes for us, takes place at a nonconscious level.” …
    “The main finding of this research is that people with a tendency toward reactance may nonconsciously and quite unintentionally act in a counterproductive manner simply because they are trying to resist someone else’s encroachment on their freedom,” Chartrand said.

    Source: World Tech Review.
    Marriage should be 100% – 100% — just like ownership of a house by tenancy by the entireties.
    In my house, I always joke that my wife is the supervisor. She comes up with projects and I end up doing the work while she watches me.

  11. Nicola!
    Thank you for that wacky link from California –- the “duck blind” make laugh out loud!
    Just the other day I was watching a show on the Health channel about remote robotic eye surgery where the surgeon is in one place and the patient and the robot are in another.
    The MD operates virtually as the Master and the robot, his Slave, performs the surgery under his guidance.
    That phrase struck me as strange in a medical context and then I began to ponder on the relationship between those words, and I of course, thought of you and then of KISS and then my computers (where we once had to change pins on the back of one hard drive to indicate to the machine which drive was Master and which was Slave because it didn’t know without that physical change) and of our pocked history in America…
    Thanks for the BDSM insight! It’s fascinating that getting stuff done needs to be done by a group of submissives. That makes sense to me. Why, then, wouldn’t Submissive/Submissive make a good relationship dyad if they work so well together and get stuff done?
    Thanks for the theme feedback! I saw your positive comment on the WP.com blog regarding Freshy and I thought I should give it a gander.

  12. Chris! Right! It’s called “Passive-Aggressive” and men are FAMOUS for behaving that way when they are controlled by women they do not want telling them what to do!

    In my house, I always joke that my wife is the supervisor. She comes up with projects and I end up doing the work while she watches me.

    I don’t know if Slaves are allowed to joke like that with their Masters. We’re going to have to get a ruling on this from Nicola, but I do see whips and chains in your future.
    :mrgreen:

  13. I saw a similar operation where a surgeon in the USA was direting a robot in South America (Chile I think) – this was gall bladder removal – incredible.
    Basically submissive /submissive doesent usually work because they both need some initial direction.
    Committees have an aim, working groups have an aim – they are *slaves* to the project.
    On a personal level two submissives will often dislike taking the initiative – they both prefer the other to make the move and are both waiting for the other to make a decision and take control.
    ( N.B that example is breaking it down to basic levels)
    Chris – that should be *Director* ! – and all jokes are at the directors discretion!
    As for the theme – I took your advice about setting up a private testing blog – so I now have this theme there to try out – it seems to be working pretty well for you. I like how the comments work especially. It all looks very neat and tidy and professional – now if I could tweak it to purple 😉

  14. Remote surgery will be great for good surgeons and awful for average surgeons: Why settle for less when you can get the best no matter where you live or where your surgeon lives?
    I get the submissive/submissive conflict now. Thanks for the explanation!
    I think Chris is in big trouble! 😆
    Test blogs are great. You can REALLY test by exporting your current blog and then importing it back into your private test blog! That way you can really see how a new theme will hang on your new template because you’re testing it with real posts and comments and not something invented.
    I like Freshy. I’m beginning to think it’s best not to get too involved with playing with Custom CSS because if you just keep the defaults and change the header image — you can more easily jump around and play with new themes more often and not live in fear of losing all your keen customizations. You can, however, tweak purple using the Custom CSS option if you so wish. Some people are complaining about the white background for posts with Freshy. Uhmmm… that’s why I love it! It’s a darkish theme with a paper white background so it’s super-easy to read. If you want all dark, go Chaotic Soul and leave my Freshy alone!
    😀