Okay, it’s 6:00 AM on the East Coast of the United States and I’m ready to work and win the world and, meanwhile, all The Little Googles are sleeping! I need them awake and working with me, not against me!

Yesterday, Google released some new “Themes” for its iGoogle service,
but what few know and what many believe is that these new “Themes” are
actually small windows into the Googleplex workplace — where they all sit on shining, golden bidets — while the rest of us do the dirty work of the world’s bidding.
Here’s the Google Apps team in action:

This is the Google Phone lead developer doing research and development:

Here’s your Google Custom Search Business Edition team doing what they do best:

I wondered about a couple of the old “Themes”
and if they revealed Little Googles asleep at 6:00 AM instead of
readying to work — and here’s what I found when I peeked in on the Gmail Spam fighting team:

Here is the Google bidet fixer in action — and don’t
be fooled by that awake thing in the corner — for that’s not a
Googler, but rather a sprightly Microsoft Mole looking for search
engine optimization tips:

How do I wake my Googles so they are ready to work when I’m ready to work?

There’s no bigger bore than my brow sweat set against their cool side of the pillow.

Why must my Googles friends sleep at all?

Awake and Sing, my Little Googles, Awake and Sing!


  1. Ha!
    They all woke up around 7:30 AM.
    The monster was taking a bath in the river while fighting helicopters at 7:30 AM. He is now playing with submarines in the river.
    The little foxy thing was stretching at 7:30 AM and is now planting watermelons in the garden with a spade.
    The Raccoon Family was raking leaves at 7:30AM and now they’re blowing the leaves, and each other, with a handheld wind machine — so they can rake it all up again, I guess.

  2. Don’t encourage them, Nicola!
    The Monster is now sweeping dust into the city with a giant broom. At least he’s working.
    The Raccoon family are taking a kool-aid break.
    The Tiger thing is painting a picture of a watermelon.
    When will they start writing their blogs and checking their email? We have work to do, people!

  3. UPDATE:
    The Monster is now waving to two friends across the river: A giant fish and a small potato.
    The Raccoon family are carving Halloween pumpkins. Quick! Someone get them a calendar!
    And the laziest of them all, the Tiger, is now having a watermelon eating picnic on the lawn with a little bear friend. The gall of it all!

  4. UPDATE:
    The Monster is now taking a bubble bath in the river and using a scrubber on his back while his rubber ducky looks on and a tugboat rinses him with a water stream.
    The Raccoon family are having a BBQ and are wearing chef hats and wielding spatulas while the carved pumpkins look on with glee.
    The Lazy Tiger is now sitting at a table and is wearing red glasses and appears to be writing a journal entry! Finally — some work is getting done!

  5. So sad – you will be telling me you have a facebook account next and send hatching eggs to people.
    I feel I am living in an alternative universe – reading these posts.

  6. I do have an igoogle somewhere I think ………….
    I am going to do a post on Facebook – I reserved the name and thought nothing more of it – however I have seen some very interesting patterns developing.

  7. Cool! Let us know what you think of the new iGoogle themes, Nicola!
    What patterns are you seeing on Facebook?
    Did you have a university email address to create an account?

  8. UPDATE!
    The Monster is now fighting a robot and the robot’s arms are missiles and one of the arms is shooting at the Monster!
    The Raccoons are riding turkeys! There better not be hacking and eating in the next change in three hours!
    The Lazy Tiger is having a tea party with a stuffed bear. Cute. Entertaining.

  9. The new themes are cute – I would prefer it if they put money into providing back up and support for their paying customers.
    With these themes they appear to be broadening their market to appeal to non business users.
    The facebook stuff you will have to wait for – until I write them all up into a sensible article.
    I lost my Boles University address a long time back in one of the many upheavals.
    I got my igoogle through my gmail account and the beta blogger account that replaced my old blogger account.

  10. Just reread your post – I signed up to facebook as an individual – no university network – although my youngest daughter is signed up through Bath University.

  11. Oh, that’s cool. So Facebook doesn’t require a university affiliation any longer? When I signed up you had to have a university email account.

  12. UPDATE:
    The Monster is being wrapped up by a belly-rubbing female seamonster with long tentacles and big, red, lips.
    The Raccoon family have flashlights and are looking for a lost little one in a pile of leaves.
    The Lazy Tiger is taking a bubble bath in a slatted, wooden, tub while pink birds play in the stream.

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