There was a time in America when sex was fun, unrepressed, and a delight to be held. Behold now, if you dare, a delicious sliver in time from 1992 when sex was burning in the mind of Sandra Bernhard and clawing in the voice of Tom Jones as they perform together a wild rendition of “You’re Unbelievable” live on her HBO show “Sandra After Dark” — a satire on Hugh Hefner’s original “Playboy After Dark” show from 1968:


For the record, here’s the transcript of Sandra’s incredible rage-filled rap she sings to Tom. I think he’s shocked and embarrassed and his reactions make the moments of a lifetime!

Listen here, Tom I ain’t throwin’ no panties
Let the other bitches up the antes
You think I’m a slut
And you’re gonna get laid?
Stand back, Tommy I be throwin’ some shade!
Talk to me sweet
Treat me right
Spend some cold cash
We’ll be ballin’ tonight
You wanna touch my pussy?
You wanna taste my jam?
You better be using A dental dam!
I know hot and sexy
Is your middle name
But now you’re playing
Ms. Bernhard’s game!
It ain’t roulette
It ain’t twenty-one
But you’re always a winner
And it’s so much fun!

I won’t go into Sandra’s fantastic, open-bloused, mock fellating of Tom or her deep-throating of her microphone as she writhes on the floor with her panties showing while she finally orgasms, open-legged, at Tom’s feet.

For eight years in the USA we’ve suffered the political repression of sexual freedom and the legal punishment of unbridled expression.

Sandra and Tom vividly, and graciously, remind us just how much joy we’ve lost and how hard we must fight to rediscover our shared human moments while we recover the common needs of our national, sexual, welfare.

27 Comments

  5. A history professor I had in high school (in 1995) said that historically the country is much like that pendulum in the article you once wrote – and at the time it was pretty far to the left and it seemed to be on its way to the right. I am pretty sure it can’t go any further to the right. I am actually hopeful that it has started its travel back to the left. Let’s see! 🙂

  9. Thanks for that link 🙂
    I think legalising and regulation is the best all around solution – again it cuts out the middle men who are the ones causing all the problem.
    Make it legal make it clean make it safe.
    I somehow think it will take more than NuLabour to kill off the oldest profession in the world – however I do worry that it will increase the rape figures like it has in Sweden ( whose model they want to follow) – which is NO fun at all.

  10. Nicola —
    Thanks for the history concerning Sweden! Yikes! NO fun is right!
    Testing and monitoring is the way to go. Collect taxes! Sin taxes are already pulling in big money from the lottery, alcohol and cigarettes!
    Since the USA Adult Porn industry self-regulated the use of condoms in movies as well as scheduled AIDS tests before being allowed on set — there hasn’t been a single documented transmission of HIV or AIDS in that industry. It’s a great example of self-policing to protect your own, but governments and local civics groups don’t much cotton to the benefits of the example. 😀

  11. They want to police you/them ………. rather than let you/them police themselves. They of course do not need policing at all 😉 ……………. because of course the police need no policing!

  12. And to get back onto topic – sex and fun – there is a naughty advent calender on one of my blog pages that has been great fun to do and bought a lot of enjoyment given the number of page views!

  18. I love that calendar, Nicola!
    The young woman with the scars on her arm is telling.
    The human Christmas tree is probably my favorite. WOWSER!
    The cartoon with the Christmas tree planted in that fella’s bum is the funniest! :mrgreen:

  19. Oh, and “NWS” — oh, yeah! Don’t click on Nicola’s link if you’re at work or your web surfing is being monitored.
    It’s funny — I’ve always seen it spelled “NSFW” meaning “Not Safe For Work.”

  20. It started as a joke and got picked up in several places and has taken on a life of its own. Next year I shall be asking people in September so we get a completely fresh lot and will hopefully be able to show case UK photographers and artists. (That is if we are still allowed to do so of course! )

  22. My Christmas eve post will be Christmas silliness – I am now collecting work safe funnies and cartoons for that and it will go on the main blog.

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