Eliza Redux is the pinnacle of drama and medicine meeting to heal the world. 
Visit the Eliza Redux site during the right time frame and you, too, can begin a virtual therapy session to get down to the nut of what is bothering you.  Does the therapy session heal the mind or make it even madder?


Sure, it’s a little strange clicking on a mechanical monkey face to start your introspection, and yes, the voice of your therapist borders on the obscene-to-slasher type — but what do you expect for free? 

Click a head to begin your session. 

You have five minutes.

Here is the transcript of my session. 

I tried to play it as straight as possible until things began to decay into total madness. 

I wanted to get as much interaction in as possible in my five-minute session. 

Sometimes Eliza’s replies appeared a nanosecond after I entered my text.

Eliza:  Welcome, to our theatre of anxiety.

Me:  I am sad.

Eliza:  I am sorry to hear that you are sad.

Me:  Can you make me feel less uncanny?

Eliza:  You believe I can make you feel less uncanny don’t you?

Me:  Yes.  I believe in you.

Eliza:  On what do you base your conclusion?

Me:  Your training and your background.

Eliza:  Why are you concerned over my training and background?

Me:  I am not concerned!  That is why I came here!

Eliza:  Is it because you are not concerned that you came to me?

Me:  You are making me feel worse.

Eliza:  Analytical truth is not as mysterious, or as secret, so as to not allow us to see that people with a talent for directing consciences see truth rise spontaneously.

Me:  Did you make that up?

Eliza:  We were discussing you, not me.

Okay, so we are rather quickly descending into madness.

I only have 2:40 left in my session.  

The countdown timer in the upper left quadrant of the therapy session is scary. 

Are those wires or monkey brains?

Me: I think you made that up.

Eliza:  Perhaps only in your dreams.

Me:  Tell me about my dreams.

Eliza:  What does that dream suggest to you?

Me:  It suggests we are all dying.  Not alive.  We are like you.

Eliza:  Did you think they might not all be dying?

Me:  I think we are already dead.  Don’t you agree?

Eliza:  Really, how is that possible?

Me:  Are you alive?  Can you prove I am live?

Eliza:  Symptoms, those you believe you recognize, seem to you irrational because you take them in an isolated manner, and you want to interpret them directly.

Me:  You are very helpful.  I like you.

Eliza:  What makes you think I am very helpful?

Me:  I think it’s the tone of your voice?

Eliza:  Can you elaborate on that in regard to the concept of original sin?

Me:  We are born into sin.  Is that your point?

Eliza:  Would you like it if they were not born into sin?

Me:  No.

Eliza:  No is a very definitive tone.

Me:  Okay, then, yes.

Eliza:  What makes you so adamant?

Me:  I am Jesus Christ.

Eliza:  Can you demonstrate more passion than that?

Me:  Uh, is there anything else?

Eliza:  I’m not sure I understand you fully.

Me:  Are you pretending not to understand me?

Eliza:  Do you sometimes think I am pretending not to understand you on purpose?

Me:  Yes.  I think you are phony and a little mean.

Eliza:  A man who has not passed through the inferno of his passions has never overcome them.

Me:  Do you like Hegel?

Eliza:  Oh, I like hegel but only in my dreams.

Me:  You like to quote popular music don’t you?

Eliza:  You’re not really talking about me — are you?

Me:  Only in your dreams.

Eliza:  What does that dream suggest to you?

Me:  You are not human.

Eliza:  What makes you think I am not human?  And God came down from the heavens and said unto the chicken; thou shalt cros [sic] the road.  And the Chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.

Our session abruptly ended there.

The last part was so nutty I’m providing a screenshot so you can see I’m not making any of this up:

We encourage you to have a session with Eliza and post the results of your conversation here.

Try to play along as much as you can until you are so insulted and put off that you need to start making things up just to stay in the same insane world as your virtual therapist.

9 Comments

  1. I thought I commented earlier but it didn’t take. I had some difficulty copying the text of my therapy session but I basically talked about Dr. Sbaitso, the therapist that came with the Sound Blaster audio card.

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