The GOP is in trouble and today, I will offer my conservative adversaries ten things they must do to regain relevance in the localized world of politics. As a wild liberal, I feel it is my duty as an American citizen to restore the political balance in the USA — Obama is whupping fundamentalist Republican arse — and we need to restore some sort of intelligent, loyal, opposition in order to maintain a society where ideas matter more than ideals.
We need respectful checks and balances — we haven’t had that for the
last eight years — and here’s how we can get back to doing the
business of the United States instead of the bidding for personal,
private, political gain:
You have the awful reputation of being whiners and angry opportunists. We loathe your love of the biting comment and the condescending put-down. Michael Steele had it right at the start: Divorce Limbaugh and Beck and Malkin and Coulter and all the other cruel conservative voices that claim to set the national, conservative, standard while they really only care about their own careers and the promotion of their own self-interest. “These people do not speak for, or run, the Republican Party. If you support them, you are not a proper conservative.” Say that, and the rest of us will begin to respect you for cutting out the cruel.
Lose the Religion
The GOP used to be about fiscal responsibility and small government. Under Dubya, you all became fatted calves and now you’re coming home to the slaughter of your making. Do not ever invoke God as a mandate or refer to “the other father” in public when you speak about the best interests of the nation. The great thing about the USA is we are all free to practice, or not, any religion we like. When you try to reform the rest of us with a narrow, spiteful, reformist, end-of-the-world fundamentalist Christian rhetoric, we turn you off and we turn the other cheek and vote for the other guy.
Make Intelligence Important Again
For some reason, the brilliant minds of the GOP have been silenced in favor of “regular guy” politicians. That is a deadly road to tumble down because you play to the lowest common denominator and that means you are unable to reach up to rise above the rabble of emotion for the cool and convincing intellectual argument.
Do Not Lie
It’s too easy to catch you in lies. Michelle Bachman and Fox News are the current epitomes of precisely why the rest of the world hates you. You lie, you get caught, you lie that you never spewed the lie in the first place. It’s silly and contemptuously childlike. We’re laughing at you on YouTube. Senator Macaca anyone?
We know you hate Obama, so surprise us and try to get along with him. Work with him. Gently provide insight for us as to why you have a better idea than he does instead of just yelling to be infantile and disagreeable. We’ll like you better if you pretend to be honorable and get along with Obama for the best forward momentum of our nation. We understand you can disagree with someone without being vicious. We want to know you get that, too.
Bush and Cheney did a lot of ugly, awful, illegal things while you silently stood by and let it all happen. There is nothing wrong in saying now, “Mistakes were made. Let’s find out what really happened.” We will respect you for doing the right thing instead of just the thing that best protects lawbreakers and torturers.
There are a lot of Americans angry with you. You may not understand the rage. You may not accept your public shunning. Apologize for your bad behavior and your failed due diligence anyway. Be specific. Be remorseful. Do not provide any exceptions or excuses. Be honest and genuine.
Get New Faces
We are tired of the old faces. That’s why Obama is so beloved. He was new and he was passionate. You have to get rid of all your mean men like Cantor, Boehner, McCain and McConnell and Rove and all the others in the Old White Guys club. We do not want screaming meanies like Palin or Bachman, either. Give us graciousness and genuine goodness. Build up. Don’t tear down. Jindal was the facetious and obvious pickaninny pick — you must do better and you must not look desperate and ugly in your promotion of the people you want us to trust. Bear down without doubling down.
Support Public Education
The way to win international hearts again is with innovation and ingeniousness. That means we need to pour money into public education. We need brilliant minds and talented craftsmen. Instead of cutting education support, make it your mandate. That will pull directly at Obama’s core loyalty. Free education. Discounted student loans. Encourage learning and science and logic and proof.
No More Name Calling
We don’t like it when you call people names or condescend to the worst in us just to get a giggle or a titter in exchange for a vote. When others in your party begin to bully and cajole, stand up and correct them. Tell them with us watching that their behavior is inappropriate and, frankly, nasty and unwanted. Only stupid people laugh at cruelty and if you don’t want to continue to be the party of bottom feeders and sycophants, you need to make a change for the good right now.
The GOP is risking irrelevance if the party does not begin to employ these fixes for the core of their belief system.
The USA needs goodness and love and smarts and a kind and respectful debate using logic and ideas and not morality or emotion — and right now the GOP appears to relish their gutter role in society as the degrading minority of minorities and that needs to change if the GOP be saved.