Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt — of MTV’s “The Hills” — are, for some reason, clamoring to return to the Costa Rican jungle set of “Get Me Out of Here, I’m a Celebrity” after quitting the show twice.

We, as beloved consumers of all reality television, DO NOT WANT THEM BACK!

Please make Heidi and Spencer go away.  NBC’s head of Reality Show Programming, Paul Telegdy, seems to agree with us:

They are everything that’s wrong with America.  They are insincere, lazy, entitled and they claim the devil has possessed them. They are back and this time they are contrite, yeah right. What they don’t realise is that they are now going to be examined and their value system utterly

We hope Telegdy is sincere in his loathing of them, but we cannot help but feel on some level this is all a setup to create false drama as Spencer and Heidi come and go as they please. 

The two of them are such a borefest and we cannot wait to know that, if they return, they will quickly be voted off the island by the viewing audience and placed back into their nothingness.