by Yesterday, I was shocked to see a television commercial starring former Dallas Cowboys football coach Jimmy Johnson. He was pitching a “male enhancement” product that I will not name — I have blurred the product title in this commentary — because I believe Jimmy is pitching a snake oil in sheep’s clothing lie. Here’s visual proof of the established relationship between Jimmy and his member pimping.
Here’s an advertising blurp from the main page of Jimmy Johnson’s new genital master:
How did Jimmy Jonson fall so far and so hard?
He must be hard up for money and desperate for cash to ruin his reputation with this penis scheme.
When you are a role model for children, and when you have the respect of your peers — and when you then actively choose, as Jimmy Johnson has, to spread your hard-earned goodwill to sell “girthier” johnsons to lonely men on late night television — the last thing you want to do is ruin your good name by associating your fame with something that is mocked and ridiculed in proper society and by the medical community.
When we think of “growing girth and width” — the last thing we want in our mind’s eye is Jimmy Johnson’s open mouth leering back at us from a television screen — and if Jimmy had paused, for just a moment, before signing his contract to be the new head of the penis enhancer to realize the damage he was doing to his legacy, we wouldn’t have to laugh at him now and mourn with him the loss of what was once a sterling reputation in the marketplace.
He would rule supreme at the Dinner for Schmucks! What a sad fall from grace Mr. Johnson has taken.
Yes, it doesn’t make sense in the all of it unless the bad economy broke his back. He has a steady TV job — so something else must have hit him to force him to stoop so low.