Barry was tired of getting kicked around, and he resolved the following for 2012, and he knew it would be a good year because he always did better in years that ended in even numbers.

1.  No more “Mr. Nice Guy” — he’d be strong and cruel when called for because he knew he had the people behind him.

2.  No more treating childish adults as serious people — he will now wipe them off his pant leg and flush them down the drain.

3.  Get the girl — sure, Joe has been a lot of f-in’ fun — but the current Secretary would make a much better second for a second term.

4.  Continue to beat down the Kardashians because they’re Hollywood trash that just keeps on giving — just like Sister Souljah before them.

5.  Eat less sugar.

6.  Continue to smile.

7.  Get caught smoking — it’ll help with the blue collar working voters.

Barry knew he was in for a tough fight in the Fall.

He also knew that if he won it all again in 2012, his first-ever second would rule as the first-ever first for eight years after him — cementing his place in history forevermore as the right guy in the right momentous moments.


  1. Funnily enough usually the usage of the name Barry when referring to the president is accompanied by derisive writing. Exception to the rule! Let’s hope this works out well! 🙂

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