Becky was watching the debut of the Yankees against Tampa Bay this afternoon when she decided to figure out what she wanted to watch after the baseball game.

Her eye landed on QVC and she couldn’t believe what she was seeing from 8-10pm tonight in the program description:

New, HD, Jewelry, tableware and fragrances inspired by artifacts from the Titanic. (Shopping, 60 Mins.).

Oh, how Becky could not wait for 8pm to chime in on her iPhone!

Becky imagined all the neat “inspired artifacts” she might buy tonight.

She was definitely going to get the “Decomposing Body Wash.”

“Anchor Earrings” were also on her short list as were the “Iceberg Lettuce Tongs” for her dinner table.

She also needed to buy a gross of “S.O.S. Soap Pads” that would help her scrape off the gunk and rust from the Bergen-Belsen pots and pans set she bought last year from the Home Shopping Network.

Oh, and she secretly hoped for a modern twist on the Titanic story: The “3D Replica Re-Release of James Cameron’s Crusty Underwear” — just like the kind he soiled when he was dropped into the Mariana Trench last week.

“Oh, Gosh,” Becky thought to herself, “Buying Titanic-inspired artifacts from QVC might be seen as being in bad taste, so I better buy the ‘Decomposing Carcass Breath Mints’ just to cover the cure.”

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