Toward the end of the Passover holiday, I was out at dinner with Chaim and Elizabeth at a friend’s home and was in the middle of telling Chaim that he had to wait only a little bit longer before food would be served, and someone decided that it was the perfect time (mid sentence) to ask me why it was that I chose to speak to Chaim only in Romanian. After I got over the initial shock that he could not seem to wait until I was finished with my sentence (perhaps he thought it was okay to interrupt because he didn’t understand me) I responded, and as I explained it occurred to me that it might be prudent to explain it here as well — for the record.

The real question that the person was asking was not why I spoke a foreign language to Chaim. I don’t think that anybody questions the value of children being able to speak and understand multiple languages — being able to speak more than one language is linked to an increase in cognitive ability, among other benefits. People who are not familiar with the Romanian language sometimes think of it as not too different from the Klingon language — interesting in theory for those who speak it, but completely useless otherwise.

I told him that Romanian is a language that has its roots in Latin — it is in fact the only Eastern European Romance language. As such, it makes it considerably easier for those who know one Romance language to learn another. For example, I studied both French and Italian when I was a student at Rutgers University, and loved studying French so much that I made it my minor.

Because of my background speaking Romanian from when I was a child, I found it easier to learn and retain the language. People often tell me they cannot believe that the country of Dracula could have a language similar to, say, Italian. I tell them the following example — in Italian, the word for pleasure is piacere. In Romanian, the word is placere. Off by only one letter — and I then go on to give them some other examples, leaving them usually impressed and apologetic.

Furthermore, there is something that goes beyond the practical value of the language and that is the value of preserving his heritage. My parents and grandparents came from Romania in 1974 and the Romanian language was the first one that I spoke — I initially refused to watch Sesame Street because it wasn’t in Romanian.

I realize that it is a bit of a stretch to hope that Chaim will also teach Romanian to his children and that they will teach it to their children, but it is a nice thought. The Romanian language is a strong tie that connects Chaim to not just his father but his grandparents, great-grandparents, and further.

When I explained this to the person who had interrupted my attempt to reassure Chaim of the forthcoming meal, he smiled and said that he hoped it went well and I went back to letting Chaim know about the food that was on its way.


    1. My parents initially thought it was a waste of time — they said I would be better off teaching him Spanish. I argued that this way, he can eventually learn Spanish as well — and preserve his family heritage!

  1. When and if I become a parent, I hope that I speak to him/her in my second language. They will get enough English everywhere else. But then again I’m only 21 so what do I know? 🙂

    1. I’m sure you know plenty more than you think! You are clearly wise enough to have come to this conclusion! 🙂

  2. I’m glad you’ve kept this tradition going. My grandparents initially spoke only Italian when they moved to New York, but were so set on blending in as Americans that they didn’t pass it on to my parents. I loved hearing them occasionally speak to each other in Italian when I was a child (only when they were in their home, of course).

    1. Emily,

      Thanks! Did your grandparents avoid speaking Italian in public? Have you considered learning it to honor them?

  3. As someone who is struggling to learn my adoptive language and as someone who values tradition I applaud you. I wish that my native English was so adaptable . One of the things I am learning from P is the commonality of certain groups of languages and how useful that is.

    1. Thank you, Nicola. It certainly is useful! 🙂 I know you will get there!

  4. I think it’s very wise to carry on the family language.
    And I hope your dream(s) of him carrying on the tradition, and him with his sons/daughters is very admirable.
    I’m glad to hear it.
    And as you mentioned, it’s true that the more you s-t-r-e-t-c-h his mind, the more he will learn. He’s in the ‘sponge stage’, as I like to call it. The learning capabilities at this age are many times over what they will be in just a year or so.

Comments are closed.