Six Hundred Million Breaths

The first inhale, the last exhale, and the enormous unexamined middle. A human being spends nine months underwater and then, in a single violent second, becomes an air-breathing animal. We tend to picture that first breath as a natural unfolding, the lungs simply beginning what they were built to do. The reality is closer to a demolition. Before birth the lungs are not empty. They are filled with fluid secreted by the lung tissue itself, and that fluid has to go somewhere before air can enter. Labor begins clearing it. The surge of adrenaline and noradrenaline that accompanies delivery flips the epithelial cells lining the airways from secreting fluid to absorbing it, and sodium channels in those cells begin pulling the liquid back into the tissue and the bloodstream. The mechanical compression of the chest during a vaginal delivery squeezes out more. Even so, at the moment of birth the newborn faces a set of collapsed, wet sacs whose internal surfaces are stuck together by the surface tension of water, and it must pull them open with nothing but the muscles of its own chest and diaphragm.

Continue reading → Six Hundred Million Breaths

On Yawning

Are you already yawning while reading this?

If you are speaking to someone — in a formal or informal setting — and they keep yawning in response, are you insulted that they are tired and not paying attention?  Or are you in some way complimented that someone is showing you the back of their throat?

For much of my life, I took a yawn from someone as an affront that I was somehow boring the point of my interest, and if a student dared to loudly yawn in class, that was of even more concern that I was losing the accrued interest of a topic I was divining to share.

Then I met a good, and ancient, friend, who happened to also be an excellent stage director — and professional theologian — who taught me my thinking was wrong.

A yawn is a compliment, he argued — a good thing — and you should work a room, and conversations, to get that open mouth staring back at you.

Continue reading → On Yawning

The Strange Breathlessness of HandsOnlyCPR.org

I saw a strange television advertisement the other day for HandsOnlyCPR.org and I was surprised to learn the American Heart Association is now suggesting you can do CPR — Cardio Pulmonary Resuscitation — without the Pulmonary!

Continue reading → The Strange Breathlessness of HandsOnlyCPR.org

Eyes as the Sign of Life

We used to think breath was the sign of life — and while that may be true in real life — online, your life is found in your eyes.  I know you have no idea what I’m talking about, so go to — MP Change — and look at the lifelike image.  The eyes are alive and stalking you!

Continue reading → Eyes as the Sign of Life

Ten Seven

Pass the beer!

Guzzle the rotgut!

Hold breath to forget.

Email Apnea

Do you suffer from Email Apnea?  Do you hold your breath while writing?

Continue reading → Email Apnea

Painting Tables

by Steve Gaines

the morning my Grandfather died
he was painting picnic tables
making his way slowly down a long line of them
aluminum colored and pealing in the sun
badly wearing their too many years

he was bringing them back to a shining new life
and he was quietly dying on his way
one foot in front of the next
one breath on top of the last
slower and slower

Continue reading → Painting Tables