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Cultural Differences vs. Social Deviancy

Imagine this: You’re walking along the lower East Village in New York City on a Friday night and you come upon a baby crying alone in a stroller outside the Dallas BBQ restaurant at 132 Second Avenue. What would you do? Call 911? Flag down a cop? Go into the restaurant and search for the parents?

Crybaby
Last Friday just such an incredible scenario happened in real life, in real time. Two friendly passerbys did all the above mentioned actions in an attempt to reunite the crying baby with her parents. Incredibly, the parents were inside the restaurant having dinner and aware of the plight of their baby. In fact, the parents had purposefully left their baby alone on the sidewalk while they ate.

When Parents Won’t Parent
The parents refused to leave their seats to bring their baby inside the restaurant to sit with them even though the wait staff tried to convince the couple to bring the baby inside in exchange for a bigger table and a place to put the stroller. The parents declined. One passersby called 911 and the NYPD arrested the couple for “endangering the welfare of a child.” The baby was immediately placed in foster care by the city’s Administration for Children’s Services.

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Casting Stones at UFOs

The recent group suicide of the Heaven’s Gate community is quite a fascinating and vivid example of the power of Faith in the Greater Glory of a Higher Calling. It doesn’t matter if you support how Heaven’s Gate chose to express their Faith – their action is a curious study of a group’s dynamic ability to move beyond the physical world and reach out to touch something greater than themselves.

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Slaughterhouse Publishing

Allow me a moment to discuss the business of computer book publishing with you. It’s a fascinating business, an extremely profitable business, and a business that is in desperate need of a re-alignment of purpose and thought because some computer book publishers are short-shafting their readers. If you’re thinking of writing a computer book, read on. If you’re thinking of buying a computer book, you definitely need to read on…

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Race for Naturalization

There’s a strange aftershock going on around the country that may surprise you on a gut level. When President Clinton signed the Welfare Reform bill and made it the law of the land, many liberals shouted that it would be the children who would suffer most. In fact, the children of our society are quite protected from falling through the gaps. Programs are still in place that will provide for the continued welfare of any child in need.

Land of Opportunity
Many legal immigrants who come to this country purposefully give birth to their children here in the USA so their kids will be American Citizens. This guarantees that their children will be able to take advantage of WIC (Welfare for Infants and Children) and SSI (Supplemental Security Income), Food Stamps and Welfare at any time they are in need and many parents use the child’s benefits to satisfy their own needs.

The Line Forms Here
Childless legal immigrants welfare recipients are not quite so lucky thanks to the Clinton Welfare Reform Bill. On August 1, 1997, their Welfare checks, SSI, HR (Home Relief) and other benefits will stop unless and until they become naturalized citizens of The United States of America. You can imagine the scenario that is presently wending its way through many Federal buildings throughout our fair land. If you can’t envision it, let me paint some numbers for you of images dotting our amber waves of grain.

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Sheep Cloning: Sheep Cloning

Can you believe they cloned a sheep in Roslin, Scotland? The penultimate ramifications of such a wildly successful operation bodes darkness for Humankind precisely because “survival of the fittest” will no longer be the watershed test for creating and sustaining life. Our Evolutional mantra will have to change to “survival of the richest, smartest and most beautiful” instead.

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A Shooting in New York: Survival Tips for the Wary

After the shooting of eight tourists on the Empire State Building’s Observation Deck yesterday by a disgruntled 69 year old man from Palestine, it’s my duty, as ten year New York resident and publisher of this international magazine to offer you some tips for surviving the Big Apple.

Analysis of an Assassination
Before we get to the hardcore survival tips, let’s examine precisely what happened during the Empire State Building shooting. The disgruntled man was touring the Observation Deck from 4 pm to 5 pm and he was alone and muttering to himself during that hour. At 5 pm he dropped to his knees, started praying aloud and then he drew his handgun and immediately assassinated a young Dutch musician by firing a single bullet into the base of his skull.

After the initial shot, everyone on the Observation Deck panicked and a stampede began as the Palestinian squeezed off 7 more shots. As hot lead flew, a five month old child took a bullet in the side; a man from Queens was punctured by a slug in his thigh; a six year old was shot in the arm; a mother was grazed on the elbow and three others were mildly wounded. Other women and children were injured by a stampede of Tourists pushing each other to get out of the way of the bullets.

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Ugly Ass Shoes that Fit Like a Glove

I’ve been able to restrain myself until this moment from writing about the O. J. Simpson matter, but now, with the return of the liable verdict against The Juice from The Jury — the time is ripe for picking a response. For over 2.7 years, the Goldmans and the Browns have suffered the loss of their beloved children while a dismayed nation looked upon their plight with pity and terror. While many of you are familiar with much of the case, allow me a moment to address some of the hotter issues as I see them.

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January Epistle

Dear Reader —

As we burn into the New Year, please allow me a rare and humble opportunity as Publisher and Editor-in-Chief of GO INSIDE, to spend a private moment and share the vision of where our hearts and minds will take you inside in 1997.

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PageNet Pages the Net!

by David W. Boles

PAGENET
The PageNet Motorola Gold FLX alphanumeric pager is simply the best service and pager you can buy today — that’s a mouthful to read, but as you take in an eyeful of it all above, you’ll soon understand how the secret to screening the world can rest in the palm of your hand.

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The Golden Age of the Web

Golden and Loving It
Believe it or not, we are now living in The Golden Age of the World-Wide Web. Enjoy it while you can, for it shall not last long. Especially if the computer industry has its way. They want every noodnik with a modem and a hard drive traipsing around the internet 24 hours a day so they can provide the means for the traipser’s well-being while on the Web. It’ll be a never-ending tourist season of noodniks for us seasoned Webbers as we slay and wheedle away those unwelcomed gawkers armed with cable modems and unlimited Web access for $5 a month.

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