Banning the Celebrity Baby Wave
Today, I propose the immediate ban on any celebrity using a “Baby Wave”
— the slow opening and closing of spread fingers closing into a fist with the palm facing you — that red carpet fame carpetbaggers like Paris Hilton and Penelope Cruz and many others routinely use instead of a proper, flat-handed, wave that pivots on the wrist from a visible elbow anchored to the side of the body. In the image below, we have the perfected example of a proper Baby Wave — from Heath Ledger’s daughter Matilda— and since the Baby Wave is from a celebrity baby, we’re fine its flexing and extension.
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