Banning the Celebrity Baby Wave

Today, I propose the immediate ban on any celebrity using a “Baby Wave”
— the slow opening and closing of spread fingers closing into a fist with the palm facing you — that red carpet fame carpetbaggers like Paris Hilton and Penelope Cruz and many others routinely use instead of a proper, flat-handed, wave that pivots on the wrist from a visible elbow anchored to the side of the body. In the image below, we have the perfected example of a proper Baby Wave — from Heath Ledger’s daughter Matilda— and since the Baby Wave is from a celebrity baby, we’re fine its flexing and extension.

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Banning Crowns from Heads of Ordinary Women

What is it with the new trend of ordinary women wearing crowns in everyday life?  We have a fake royalty explosion going on in the USA and we must work together to put a stop to it now!

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Calgary Transit Bans Naked Baby

Calgary Transit doesn’t want naked babies on its advertising billboards. 
Especially one that is 16 feet long, smeared in blood and with its umbilical cord in plain view. 

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