From Ocher to Oil to Pixel: The Female Breast in Antiquity

We are a current culture obsessed by, infected with, and clamoring for — the female breast.  Have we always been breast-centric beings?  Or is the modern breast in situ only our latest distraction from the real perils of the earthly world? 

Let’s turn to art to help inform the context that creates our culture.  Early ocher cave paintings and even hieroglyphs made clothing — more than the bare breast — the most distinctive identifier of the human form:

Continue reading → From Ocher to Oil to Pixel: The Female Breast in Antiquity

Fear Factor and Fake Breasts

With the recent re-rising of my Boob Jobs article, I am ready to share with you a secret for betting on the success of competitors on NBC’s Fear Factor television show.Fear Factor Psycho House

100 percent of the time women with gigantic fake breasts are unable to successfully complete any cold water challenge. 100 percent of the time the reason they give for not being able to handle the cold water is “I couldn’t breathe; I couldn’t catch my breath.”

The reason they couldn’t breathe in cold water is their body could not heat up all that fake boob gel fast enough and so the giant fake boobs become heavy ice-packs embedded under the skin while directly sitting on muscle and bone millimeters away from the lungs.

It’s hard to catch your breath — let alone swim under water — with 12 pounds of ice pressing into your chest!