With the recent re-rising of my Boob Jobs article, I am ready to share with you a secret for betting on the success of competitors on NBC’s Fear Factor television show.

100 percent of the time women with gigantic fake breasts are unable to successfully complete any cold water challenge. 100 percent of the time the reason they give for not being able to handle the cold water is “I couldn’t breathe; I couldn’t catch my breath.”

The reason they couldn’t breathe in cold water is their body could not heat up all that fake boob gel fast enough and so the giant fake boobs become heavy ice-packs embedded under the skin while directly sitting on muscle and bone millimeters away from the lungs.

It’s hard to catch your breath — let alone swim under water — with 12 pounds of ice pressing into your chest!