On Unraveling the World and Letting the Queue Clear

We spend our lives creating, and waiting in, queues.  We do our best to manage the dead time in line and when we are responsible for the movement of any queue, we oftentimes become impatient with a process that more slowly unravels than the speed in which it tightened.

Sometimes there’s nothing to be done except to stand back and let the queue take on a life of its own and allow it to expire when the momentum of the movement is exhausted.

There are three kinds of basic queues that capture our daily lives: Physical, Virtual and Ethereal. Let’s examine them in kind.

Continue reading → On Unraveling the World and Letting the Queue Clear

Two New iPhone 5s are On the Way from the Apple Store!

I relived my good old technocrat, Standing in Line at the Apple Store, identity this morning by awaking at 2:49am to place an online order for the new iPhone 5s at 3:01am Eastern.  I was happy to stand in line in my underwear instead of beneath the naked glare of the 5th Avenue Apple store streetlights.

The online Apple store was still offline at 3:01am, but by 3:04am, I was able to quickly get into the system and order our iPhones!

I initially ordered the iPhone 5s for Janna and me, in a single order, but the Apple store told me I could only order one iPhone at a time!  Ugh!

Continue reading → Two New iPhone 5s are On the Way from the Apple Store!

Why Payless ShoeSource are Shitheels

Please forgive the title of this article.  I know “Shitheel” can be an offensive word, but it is the perfect word to describe what happened to me on the phone last night with Payless ShoeSource Customer Service — and the “heel” in a “Shitheel” headline about a rotten shoe company was just too perfect to pass up.  Consider this story the perfect “Shitheel” shitstorm where all the crap in the world swirled into one, massively bungled, Public Relations and Customer Service nightmare and then shat on me.

The day before yesterday, I placed a big order for four pairs of men’s and women’s shoes on Payless.com for $159.17 USD.  I liked Payless shoes.  Their shoes were cheap and good.  Oh, how I wish I’d remembered why I cannot afford cheap shoes.

The next day, expecting delivery, I went online to check my order status only to be met with this screen telling me my order had been CANCELLED!

Continue reading → Why Payless ShoeSource are Shitheels

The Order of Money

Let’s get one thing straight:  There is one — and ONLY ONE — way to manage your money in your pocket or wallet.

Continue reading → The Order of Money

Lindsay Lohan Stiffs Justice in 84 Minutes

Lindsay Lohan was supposed to do jail time for a car chase — but ended up only serving 84 minutes of her four-day sentence:

Lindsay Lohan entered a Southern California jail on
November 15 – and walked out 84 minutes later. The 21-year-old actress
checked herself into the Century Regional Detention Facility in
Lynwood, California at 10:30 a.m. to serve a minimum 24-hour sentence
following an alleged car chase in July, and a crash in Beverly Hills in
May. In line with prison policy for releasing non-violent offenders due
to overcrowding, Lohan was released at 11:54 a.m.

Continue reading → Lindsay Lohan Stiffs Justice in 84 Minutes