Today in Brussels, Microsoft’s middle-aged wonder, Bill Gates, was ambushed while entering a building and was blind-sided with a cream pie. The pie was viciously thrown with force and malice and its intent was obviously not to inspire laughs, but to wound. When you watch the video of it happening in real time, you can see Bill didn’t know what hit him — I’m certain he wondered if he had been smashed in the head with something more deadly than a cream pie. You can see he’s frozen scared after the pie slams into his face, full on. You can’t help but feel for the guy. Two others then tossed pies at Bill to finish off the humiliation.

Band of Jerks
I guess a gang of jerks in Brussels find pleasure in tossing pies in the faces of important visitors. There were five of them with pies waiting for Bill to arrive today and three scored hits. While some may find the incident funny, I find it troubling and sad and yet another harbinger that the world is going to Hell in a pie tin. What if that cream pie had been a bullet?

Becoming Human
I think that more than anything, Bill’s feelings were hurt and, in some small way, I find that rather touching, because so many folks think he’s robotic and unfeeling. Today in Belgium, Bill Gates became fully human in the most horrible way… on TV with the CNN anchors laughing at him. Bill was embarrassed and I couldn’t help seeing in him the wounded face of the last kid picked for the baseball team. He was too vulnerable in that moment of confusion and I was uncomfortable watching him try to smooth the goop from his glasses afterwards.

The Moment After
There’s more video of Bill after the incident with wet hair and as he tries to pretend nothing happened, and it’s obvious he would rather burst into tears than soldier on. If Bill had it in him, he should’ve licked off a fingerful, swallowed the creamy delight and laughed. But Bill’s pride was too hurt to think that fast.

What happened today is inexcusable and should’ve been predicted, planned for, and prevented. When Bill was first hit, no one ran to him, grabbed him and plunged him into the building. Nobody in his entourage tried to shield him from further attack and that gave the other two jerks their opportunity to strike!

Bill Gates should have an armored car, machine gun guards and the whole dark shades security detail wherever he goes because he’s too valuable and too attractive a target for ransom or terrorism whether he’s home or abroad — and it is in Microsoft’s best interest to protect their most valuable asset even if it goes against Bill’s humble wishes to remain unfettered and human.