This message is a public service for women who wonder why men are “unable” to properly “read” price tags. I do not admit to using any of these pricing schemes but here are some examples I’ve heard about:
Price tag: $4.99 = Men’s Price: $4.00
We always round-down to zero all digits following a decimal point and then we add a penny. We just saved you a dollar! Thank us!
Price tag: $39.00 = Men’s Price: $30.00
We always round-down to zero the last digit in front of a decimal point and then add a dollar. We just saved you ten bucks! Thank us!
Price tag: $599.00 = Men’s Price: $500.00
If there are three numbers to the left of a decimal point we always round-down to zero the two digits closest to the decimal point and then add a dollar. We just saved you $100.00! Thank us! (You can extrapolate the rest of the “Rounding-Down” rules on your own. Just remember the only number that counts is the first one. Everything else gets rounded down to zero.)
Price tag: $68.00 = Men’s Price: Less Than the Shoes You Bought Yesterday
This is a defensive tactic in case the decimal point scheme isn’t working. We use this guilt trip ploy to price protect something we covet and cannot live without and it usually has something to do with enhancing our computer or car. If it takes a little “bargaining guilt” to get what we will die without, okay then, we can live with that. Remember: Men Don’t Whine, We Negotiate!
Price tag: 50% Off = Men’s Price: Free!
The math on this one is simple: An item that is half-price means we are saving half of the price. By adding that half-price savings we put in our pocket to the 50% Off sale price we cancel out the remaining 50%. Total cost of item = Free! There’s no use in arguing with the New Math for Men because the effectiveness of our madness has been proven over time in the stuff we bought to clog up the garage.
If there’s a problem with our calculations, we always make it up on the back end because when we talk about money coming in we always add 50% to the expected amount. We are positive thinkers who know we deserve to earn more than we are owed and we thank you in advance for agreeing with us. Please also keep in mind we are always trying to save you money no matter what you say.
When we arrive at the register for check-out and the savings appear to have disappeared, that is only because we have the bad luck of always buying on a day when a sales tax increase goes into effect or something. Or the cash register added everything up wrong. Don’t worry. We’ll make it up on the back end. We, as Men, do our best to put a positive spin on something that needs to be purchased — unless, of course, you are the one who wants to buy something — then the price gets doubled and we can’t possibly afford it.