Keyser Soze — aka “Maggie” — won $500,000 last night on the season finale of the CBS television reality show borefest Big Brother 6. I have watched all the Big Brother shows since the first season. I even paid to purchase the live internet feeds to watch the real show behind the “faked” broadcast shows that never demonstrate the true character of the players. The best year for Big Brother was the first.

The people were real. The challenges were fun. You could root for someone. The ratings were not high enough after Big Brother year one, so a new producer was brought in to “fix” a show that was never broken. Ever since Arnold Shapiro took over the production of Big Brother, the game has never been the same.

Snarkiness has been valued over friendship. Good game play has been forsaken in favor of viciousness and despise. Some might argue Shapiro is only reflecting the values of America. I counter that argument by claiming Arnold Shapiro has a greater duty to society than to merely reflect America. His responsibility as a media broker, who directly controls three Prime Time hours a week on the public airwaves, is to provide a reflexive experience for understanding each other and to help build arches between cultures instead of simply tearing apart people for entertainment.

As Hurricane Katrina swamped lives and killed people in New Orleans, Big Brother player Ivette drowned herself in tears of self-inflicted pity and selfish woe in CBS’ Studio City. Never before in the history of television was such a bright line drawn between what matters and what never did. We can only hope the salty tears of that recognition are falling on Arnold Shapiro’s bloody palms.

Maggie, the “nurse from Las Vegas,” who cares not for the living and who defecated in toilets and refused to flush as a strategy of revenge against those she did not welcome into her “Friendship” cult, caused a deep and unsettling retching within Big Brother 6 viewers. Maggie played the game by allowing others to do her bidding.

Maggie won the game by feasting on the personality disorders of those less fortunate than her and she not only knowingly and willingly gorged on the missing pieces of her “friends,” she craved to eat even deeper into the marrow of them to ensure their loyalty and to bite away any resistance she perceived, or believed, to be real. One would think a nurse would heal a Big Brother with fair game play, a positive spirit and a love for humanity. One is not only surprised, but disappointed, that the easier path of hatred and Race mongering played such a huge role in such a small win for Big Brother 6 this season.

The only tiny pleasure we can take from a Maggie win is the fact that, as days pass into weeks, the members of her cruel “Friendship” will slowly begin to flash back to moments in the house and realize how wholly played they were — Keyser Soze style — and the puzzle pieces of their experiences tumble hard into place to create the face of Maggie, their Beloved Friendship Leader, who betrayed each of them always in the bitter whole and the contemptible complete, and who will never know in her bones that sometimes to lose is to win.


  1. I couldn’t believe either Ivette or Maggie made it to the end. You hit them both right on who they are and how mean they played. The players are played out!

  2. Thanks for the comment, soos!
    This was the most disappointing year in Big Brother history. Two totally unlikable “friends” who have no idea what that word really means. 😕

  3. I love that article. You hit the nail on the head so to speak. I had said to my husband as soon as Janelle was evicted that Ivette made a $450,000 error, and it proved so true last night.
    I can’t wait to hear of Maggies return to work and having to answer why she was so evil including defacating in a toilet and leaving it there. I am glad I don’t live in Vegas and have her as my nurse.

  4. Hi Annie! — Thanks for the comment and I am grateful you will send others here to read the piece. 🙂
    Aussiedeb! — Right on! I can’t believe I wasted an entire Summer over this version of Big Brother! The Friendship were charmless, graceless and humorless. Janelle was an Angel sent to Ivette but Ivette was too angry and too blind with faith in Maggie to see the gift. Sad, really.

  5. “You think you can catch Keyser Soze? You think a guy like that comes this close to getting caught, and sticks his head out? If he comes up for anything it’ll be to get rid of me. After that… my guess is you’ll never hear from him again.”

  6. is where I get my movie quotes. I’m obsessed with that movie and Kevin too. It’s my #2 movie of all time.
    And like that…he’s gone.

  7. Yah, Robin!
    Thanks for the tip on I didn’t know they had quotes there!
    That movie is my #2 as well. My #1 is “Memento.”
    What is your top movie?

  8. What a fascinating list of movies, Robin!
    You have a wide-ranging taste. That’s good you aren’t limited in what you like. 🙂
    American Beauty was an interesting show.

  9. I’m like that with music too. I like stuff from Tool, NIN, Foo Fighters, Keane, Sarah McLauchlan, Fiona Apple…just keep the country crap away from me.

  10. Hmm, I’m gone only a day, and it seems Robin has taken the Top Commenter title from me! 🙂
    Must do something about that! 😉

  11. Janelle as an Angel is good. Maybe Ivette was holding hands with the Devil last night on the show? Isn’t it the job of the Devil to trick? Didn’t Maggie tell Ivette over and over again over the summer it “was Ivette’s mission in the house to get rid of Janelle?” Spooky, eh? Ivette lost $450,000 because she refused to see the truth in Janelle and she fell for the evil, easy, way and it cost her big.

  12. I couldn’t agree more I did not even feel like watching except I knew that the evicted house guests would have something worthwhile to say. I always thought the friendship was a stupid thing, and the fuss they made about Cappy, made me gag. I could not stand Maggie for one second she did nothing, I could not stand Jennifer just as much what she did to kayser and how she acted was disgusting. I think she was one of the most sickening players on the show. Yvette cried about everything. I love the show and will watch again, hopefully it will get better, last years last two were really bad too.

  13. Excellent post, Tonia! You have perfectly summed up our awful and boring summer. I did not like how Cappy and Jennifer played, either. You tagged the “Friendship” precisely as they should, and shall, be forever known. Thanks! 🙂

  14. I thought highly of Janelle, more than any other guest, and I liked her from the beginning. I felt the saem about Keyser. Cappy (Eric) is a miserably negative person. James and Howie are okay. Ivette was a whiny bitch throughout much of the show. April, as pleasing as she is to view, is a dumbass. Have you read about the racist comments made about Keyser by April and the nasty comments made by Ivette?

  15. David,
    You used the word ‘old’ and my name, Paula, right next to one another. That doesn’t mean what I think it means, does it? BECAUSE IF IT DOES, I’M COMING OVER THERE WITH MY CRUTCH…
    Oops, sorry I was yelling, wasn’t I? *sniff*
    Tell Carla she is the Queen of comments and I’m happy to be the orangutan, just monkeyin’ around.
    I don’t watch reality shows, but I take it these ladies weren’t behaving like ladies. I’m glad I spent my time with other activities.

  16. Tony — I agree with you than Janelle is not only the star of Big Brother 6 she is a good person and tremendously smart and generous no matter how the “Friendship” tried to paint her. Their ick didn’t stick! 🙂 I watched the live feeds all the time so I know precisely what happened in that house and there will be no revision of history because too many angry fans memorialized the deceit and Racism in transcriptions, blogs and video captures. One of the funniest and most awful — I admit to guffawing out loud — sites about April appears here:
    Paula — I’m trying to stop laughing at your wonderful note so I can type this… okay… better now…. You are so funny! I didn’t mean “old” in that way… why, I should have said “ole” as in the “Ole Miss” Southern way, see, yah? YES, YOU WERE YELLING but we know you were thinking of Carla as you were yelling so we forgive you. 😀 I hope your foot is feeling better. It isn’t any fun to feel sore when trying to move around. You were smart not to dig into Big Brother this summer. You saved a bit of your soul!

  17. Oh please, all of you sore losers. The friendship won, because the sovereign were weak and didn’t know how to play the game.
    Stop bashing Maggie and give her some credit for playing a damn good game!
    Don’t think for a second that kaysar and janelle are damn angels!!

  18. I can’t think of a funnier (and more appropriate) title than the one you wrote! I laughed out lod when I read it! Remember…”the greatest trick the devil ever pulled on the world was to convince them he doesn’t exist” Yep, she did it! Maggie is definately Keyser Soze!

  19. I would love to see all of the BB6 houseguests come back in a month after having viewed the series. I wonder what the Fiendship would say to each other after finding out that Maggie not only played them against the S6, but played her team against each other as well… then again, I’m not sure the Fiendship is smart enough to figure it out…

  20. Alexis — I am so glad you got the joke about Keyser Soze. Some people don’t remember the movie. I decided to risk using the name because even if you don’t know Keyser Soze you would understand the rest of the title. Thank you for taking a moment to post your fine comment here and Maggie certainly did play her “friends” with a dark energy.
    Elizabeth — I, too, would love to see a reunion but the Fiends will never get it that we didn’t like how they played. I believe you can play Big Brother with a house full of Kaysars and Janelles and have a wonderful, interesting experience where time is spent on a strategy that isn’t intended to wound on contact or create hatred in its aftermath.

  21. I wanted those two women out after 3 weeks. I kept voting Magie or Ivette who go home next. I vote for Kaysar to return the house, I vote for Janelle to receive phone call and to be at 2 1/2 man show. After Howie and Janelle evicted, I lost interest of the BB show. I dont want any of those two women win any money, but I knew the Jurors will vote for Megie 5 to 2 or 4 to 3 (if janelle vote for Ivette). SO I was right. Btw Im from Las Vegas.. I cant wait to hear what she will say when she get back home.

  22. Hey din!
    Thanks for sharing your view from Las Vegas. I, too, voted for Janelle and Kaysar as often as I could over the season. I don’t think Maggie cares what people think of her and, in her mind, why should she? She won the game and is taking home the money. How she arrived at that end is of no concern. I also was rooting for a Jen/Maggie/Ivette early eviction and if James has just been a little bit quieter and not made himself such a large target that might have happened. The game turned forever, however, when Maggie faked her sore tummy ache and stayed trapped in the HOH room with Howie all day long and made deal after deal with him to stay safe that week. Howie had the votes to have her out but he instead gave her the game right there and, rightly, gave her the money in the end.

  23. Very interesting article.
    I think Maggie played a great game. While her “friendship” group was not a group of friends by any imagination, Maggie and her group pretty much stuck together. CBS was not accurate when the called the Soverign 8 the “outcasts”. There is no way in our society, people as athletic looking, as as physically attractive, Rachel, Janelle, Howie, James, Sarah, Ashlea, Michael and Kayser would EVER be outcasts.
    That is why I rooted for the “friendship”, they are the regular people who dont have things thrown to them.
    Getting back to Maggie, she played an excellent game. The goal of any game is to win, and she did. She never bad mouthed her alliance, never campaigned against them. Did she come off as a nice person?? No. Judging by what I read. However, when all is said and done…She deserved to win, and Ivette deserved to be in the final 2. This is not an easy game, and they survived. Love em or hate em.

  24. Thank you for your message, jcblueeyes.
    I certainly do not believe the “Friendship” were “regular people” in any way. As for your other arguments, I will stand on the position I claim in my original article.

  25. Finally! Someone else who remembers the first season as fondly as I do. My best friend and I both think the first season was the most enjoyable by far, but it seems like CBS wants that season completely forgotten.
    It wasn’t so cutthroat. The people were INTERESTING because we got to know them. I’d leave the (free) live feeds on in the background as I did other things because I enjoyed listening to their conversations.
    And they genuinely cared about each other. Brittany’s eviction still stands out. She walked through the door and the other houseguests ran into the backyard, where Eddie shouted, “BRIT!!”
    Cassandra had class. George was goofy. They all had their quirks, but they were fun to watch. I haven’t enjoyed any of the subsequent houseguests nearly as much.

  26. Hi Mike!
    The first year of Big Brother was a pure joy because no one knew what to expect. We don’t hear about year one now because Arnold Shapiro didn’t produce it so it has been wiped from the history of previously successful Big Brother seasons. That is sad. I fondly remember with you how the houseguests would yell over the wall to say goodbye to the person evicted. They cared about each other. I miss that warmth of friendship.

  27. David, what a great site!! I am repeating Keyzer Soze… Keyzer Sozeeeeee lmao.. That is so absolutely true. LOL it seems as if it is all clear now: Maggie is REALLY Keyzer Soze and she admitted to it.

  28. Hey KarunaBear —
    Yes, Maggie did confess to the “Keyser Soze” strategy of winning, didn’t she? 🙂 It’s too bad she found so much delight in playing that cruel vein.

  29. You guys are all wrong!!! If Ivette had picked Janelle she would have lost anyway. She only got 1 vote from the friendship as it was and that was from Beau. If she had picked Janelle over Maggie, she would NOT have had the “friendship” vote because they would have seen that as a betrayal. So, you all AND Janelle are wrong. And Janelle is NOT the angel you think she is. She knew she would WIN against Ivette because Ivette’s group would have been angry that she ousted Maggie. That’s why Janelle told Ivette she’d be making a $450,000 mistake.

  30. Pinchy —
    I am well aware of the threats the Maggie made against Ivette that if she betrayed the “Friendship” she would not gather their votes at the end.
    I also don’t believe for a moment that, in the end, the “Friendship” block would have been given to Janelle over Ivette in any way. If you watched the live feeds you know that no “Friendship” person ever supported Janelle beyond the undeserved back-stabbing and bashing of her character.
    Maggie made an empty threat that Ivette bought and Maggie took to that lie to the bank.

  31. David,
    Well I didn’t have the live feed but if it had been Ivette and Janelle in the end, I count it this way:
    She was a bitch about Ivette for some unknown reason and she just didn’t want her to have the money: 1 vote for Janelle
    Probably would have voted for Ivette against Janelle unless she deemed Ivette’s ousting of Maggie as total betrayal, hard to pick this one. She seemed to absolutely hate Janelle so she’d possibly vote for Ivette. 1 vote for Ivette
    Duh, Ivette.
    2 votes for Ivette
    Since he, to paraphrase Prince Charles, wants to come back in his next life as Janelle’s tampon, I believe his vote is a slam-dunk for “Janie”. 2 votes for Janelle
    Hated Ivette and Janelle was a part of her original alliance, obviously she’d vote for Janelle.
    3 votes for janelle
    Another hard one to pick but I believe he would have voted for Janelle because he almost voted for Maggie over Ivette and he supposedly hated Maggie. He’d definitely pick Janelle over Ivette because he’d say she was a better player and deserved it. 4 votes for Janelle
    She would have probably picked Janelle since it would have been Ivette who kicked her out.
    5 votes for Janelle
    I believe if Janelle and Ivette had been at the end the vote would have been 5 to 2 in favor of Janelle. Anybody agree/disagree?

  32. Here is my response to your analysis, pinchy:
    Ivette (4 votes, she wins)
    April, Jennifer, Beau, Maggie
    Janelle (2 votes)
    Howie, Rachel
    James is a toss-up. Even if he went with Janelle she would not have won.
    The Friendship had no idea how hated they were outside the house when they voted for the winner. Their personality and their reason for being in the game were all wed to a Friendship win and, they wrongly believed, fame and fortune outside the house. They would not have backed away from that covenant in the moment it mattered most: To Defeat Janelle. Maggie would not have voted against her own mandate despite what she threatened to Ivette.

  33. Well if you believe, and, again, you have live feed, I don’t, that the FS would have voted against Janelle no matter what, then I AM surprised that Ivette kicked her out. I guess Ivette was too naive. Either way, I like Ivette and I wanted her to win over Maggie OR JANELLE.
    I don’t where I just read it, but did Maggie really poop and run? That’s so strange, bizarre and just darn gross. I guess Maggie fooled me too because I would never have believed she’d do something as disgusting as that. And I also didn’t know how she was off-camera. Next time, live feed for sure!!!!
    And sorry, but what did Robin mean about her part being over? Was that a comment on something someone else said and had nothing to do with me? If so, nevermind.

  34. Robin — I think all blogs are worthy of posts! When I started blogging way back I would visit lots of blogs a day and post comments and the discussion would swell and I’d get busy here tending this blog and the people over there would get angry at me that I didn’t RE-visit their blog enough to answer the questions that were being asked of me. I couldn’t win with them! So now I comment on other blogs much less while the level of anger at me remains the same: You don’t visit enough/you don’t visit at all. I now have more time here to keep up and concentrate on being more involved in fabulous comments like yours. 🙂
    Pinchy — The spin on “Ivette would have lost to Janelle anyway…” is coming from Ivette, not Janelle and not from any reality! Saying that is Ivette’s last chance at rationalizing her loss. Janelle didn’t have the numbers to win, she knew it, but she wanted a crack at the $50,000 for second place. The Friendship were trained, ready, and prepared to rally around ANY winner in their cadre. Yes, Maggie said she pooped and ran as revenge against Kaysar when he was HOH. I watched her tell Eric about it and they laughed together over it. Kaysar and the rest though a guy did it because it was so huge. I also heard Maggie say on the live feeds she wanted to give Sarah a big, steaming, plate of doo for her birthday. Oh, and Robin was talking to me about something else earlier — it wasn’t directed to you.

  35. David,
    I so badly wish it had come down to Ivette and Janelle because I just don’t think Ivette would have beat her. Please, if anyone agrees with me, say so.
    And, in actuality, Janelle IS the winner because America ADORES her. I think she’ll be the next Pamela Anderson/Marilyn Monroe. She’s so gorgeous I can’t stop looking at her when she’s on screen. But I, as opposed to most of America, DO NOT think she is a nice person at all. I think she’s very fake and obviously so but I’m in the minority so I won’t belabor my point.
    And, from what I’m hearing, the live feed does show the “real” show as opposed to the “reel” show. Next time for sure. How much is the live feed for the whole season?
    P.S., David, you’re awesome, thanks for responding so quickly; it’s such a fun diversion from work, yuk!

  36. Robin! – :mrgreen:
    Pinchy – I would have preferred a Janelle/Ivette final as well just to see how it would have played out even though I believe Janelle would have lost big. I think the phoniness you are reading in Janelle was part of her gameplan to pay the “dumb, buxom blonde” — which she has dropped since leaving the house. If you watch the final show when she was leading the group discussion outdoors at the sequester house, you are seeing the real Janelle: Smart, no bimbo accent, insightful, tough. She has remained that way since the game ended for her and — for those of us with the live feeds — we were all in on her gamplan all along and that is why we fell in love with her genius play. She had the “Friendship” hating her blonde stereotype — which had nothing to do with her real self — and that is why she so easily let all their nasty comments roll off her back. Howie played the same way with all his overdone “boobies” comments. He threw off the “Friendship” and lasted longer than he should have because he fooled them into thinking he was not a threat. Howie is crafty and keen and clever and you’re seeing him that way now, too. The live feeds are where it’s at — there’s no place to hide, there’s no editing, and you see them precisely as they are and not how Arnold Shapiro wishes them to appear. I’ve enjoyed the discussion, Pinch! 🙂

  37. Did you mean good luck? Because good lick is good in its own context but I don’t think we know each other that well. LOL
    Besides, I’m sure I’ll be back if you don’t mind.

  38. Ah! That’s so funny! What a typo! I was tempted to go back and fix it but your reply is too funny so I’m leaving it as is and will now say:
    Good LUCK, P and I look forward to seeing you here again! :mrgreen:

  39. David,
    Glad to find some one else who “got” keyser soze besides me, thanks again for the laugh and intelligent article! those people never really saw her coming!!

  40. Hey David,
    Just thought you’d like to know. Pinchy Predicts that “My Name Is Earl” will be the hit of the fall. I watched the premiere and it is funny, ridiculous and oddly moving. This is a show with a great original premise and the potential to be a classic.
    Has anyone seen it? Opinions?

Comments are closed.