How long would you wait for someone to meet you?
You have no way to get in touch with the person while you are waiting.


Would you wait five minutes, ten minutes, half an hour or longer before
leaving?
I was raised working on the radio so, to me, 10:00am means 10:00am and
not 10:01am because in that one minute you’ve missed the first story in
the national network news.

I have always had to temper my rigid radio
upbringing — but 10:15am will never equal 10:00am in my book —
because today many people don’t realize they are being rude by not
being exactly on time for meetings they request.

A friend of mine will wait less than five minutes for a person to show
up and if that person later gets angry my friend didn’t wait longer,
he simply says to them “time and tide” and leaves it at that. It’s
interesting how those who are late never see themselves are being
inappropriate or out-of-the-ordinary.

I avoid those people as much as
possible.

42 Comments

  1. I’m right with you on that! I have little patience for waiting for others. I’m always early or on time unless major circumstances. I hate it when I’m planning to go out with friends and they are all running late. It’s unfair to me who started earlier in the night to get ready and now has to wait for them.

  2. I’m right with you on that! I have little patience for waiting for others. I’m always early or on time unless major circumstances. I hate it when I’m planning to go out with friends and they are all running late. It’s unfair to me who started earlier in the night to get ready and now has to wait for them.

  3. Robin —
    It’s a great line. My friend who used the “time and tide” phrase used it on another late friend of mine who then called me up — appalled and boiling — and asked how long I would wait and I told him, “probably less than five minutes.” The late friend was even more furious because the “time and tide” friend waited 10 minutes for him to show up before he left and that wasn’t long enough. The late friend came 25 minutes late that day. He said to me, “Gee, some friends you guys are — I’d wait an hour for you to show up before I left.” I told him, “time and tide” is my new mantra, too, so remember it if you ever want to get together! He hung up the phone as I continued laughing…

  4. Robin —
    It’s a great line. My friend who used the “time and tide” phrase used it on another late friend of mine who then called me up — appalled and boiling — and asked how long I would wait and I told him, “probably less than five minutes.” The late friend was even more furious because the “time and tide” friend waited 10 minutes for him to show up before he left and that wasn’t long enough. The late friend came 25 minutes late that day. He said to me, “Gee, some friends you guys are — I’d wait an hour for you to show up before I left.” I told him, “time and tide” is my new mantra, too, so remember it if you ever want to get together! He hung up the phone as I continued laughing…

  5. Running late is always a risk because of construction on the expressways in Chicagoland and the threat of bad weather.
    However, if I’m late, I run the risk of getting into trouble, so I always leave early to get to my destination. I’d rather arrive too early and wait, than be late even by 5 minutes. I always plan ahead so that I’m not late.
    How much time I give people depends on the circumstances.
    Some people I know always run late, so I take measures to help guide them to be on time. My wife and I have told people that an event starts at 6:30 p.m. when it was set for 8:00 p.m. They arrived at 7:30 p.m. and were on time without knowing it.

  6. Running late is always a risk because of construction on the expressways in Chicagoland and the threat of bad weather.
    However, if I’m late, I run the risk of getting into trouble, so I always leave early to get to my destination. I’d rather arrive too early and wait, than be late even by 5 minutes. I always plan ahead so that I’m not late.
    How much time I give people depends on the circumstances.
    Some people I know always run late, so I take measures to help guide them to be on time. My wife and I have told people that an event starts at 6:30 p.m. when it was set for 8:00 p.m. They arrived at 7:30 p.m. and were on time without knowing it.

  7. Chris! —
    I always prefer to be early than late. I makes more sense to take less risk.
    When I was at Columbia there was a grad student in our program who was 30 minutes late to every class and she never made a quiet entrance: She had to make a lot of noise each time she came in to let us all know how hassled she was to even make it there.
    She said if she could only get Columbia housing she would be on time because she could walk to class every day instead of taking a 90 minute train ride from Brooklyn. Our program chair said to her “I will give you a Columbia apartment; but you will still always be 30 minutes late to everything.”
    She swore publicly to us all she’d never be late again.
    The day she moved into her Columbia apartment she was 30 minutes late to class and every day after that she was 30 minutes late to everything.
    She always claimed to have a valid excuse.
    We knew it was just in her to never be on time.

  8. Chris! —
    I always prefer to be early than late. I makes more sense to take less risk.
    When I was at Columbia there was a grad student in our program who was 30 minutes late to every class and she never made a quiet entrance: She had to make a lot of noise each time she came in to let us all know how hassled she was to even make it there.
    She said if she could only get Columbia housing she would be on time because she could walk to class every day instead of taking a 90 minute train ride from Brooklyn. Our program chair said to her “I will give you a Columbia apartment; but you will still always be 30 minutes late to everything.”
    She swore publicly to us all she’d never be late again.
    The day she moved into her Columbia apartment she was 30 minutes late to class and every day after that she was 30 minutes late to everything.
    She always claimed to have a valid excuse.
    We knew it was just in her to never be on time.

  9. Chris! —
    I always prefer to be early than late. I makes more sense to take less risk.
    When I was at Columbia there was a grad student in our program who was 30 minutes late to every class and she never made a quiet entrance: She had to make a lot of noise each time she came in to let us all know how hassled she was to even make it there.
    She said if she could only get Columbia housing she would be on time because she could walk to class every day instead of taking a 90 minute train ride from Brooklyn. Our program chair said to her “I will give you a Columbia apartment; but you will still always be 30 minutes late to everything.”
    She swore publicly to us all she’d never be late again.
    The day she moved into her Columbia apartment she was 30 minutes late to class and every day after that she was 30 minutes late to everything.
    She always claimed to have a valid excuse.
    We knew it was just in her to never be on time.

  10. A few years ago, one of my best friends totally forgot our brunch date on a Saturday morning. I waited for a half-hour and then left. I didn’t have my cell phone with me, so I called her at her boyfriend’s house when I got home. She was deeply apologetic, and her boyfriend gave her a harder time than I did.
    A few months later, it happened again, only this time, I was on crutches from the whole ankle breaking incident. I was pretty pissed this time, and she knew it.
    Both times when we actually did meet up, she paid for my meal, and the second time, she brought me a gift.
    She’s still one of my best friends, but now, whenever we agree to meet for brunch, which we try to do at least once a month or two, I always call her the night before. 😀

  11. A few years ago, one of my best friends totally forgot our brunch date on a Saturday morning. I waited for a half-hour and then left. I didn’t have my cell phone with me, so I called her at her boyfriend’s house when I got home. She was deeply apologetic, and her boyfriend gave her a harder time than I did.
    A few months later, it happened again, only this time, I was on crutches from the whole ankle breaking incident. I was pretty pissed this time, and she knew it.
    Both times when we actually did meet up, she paid for my meal, and the second time, she brought me a gift.
    She’s still one of my best friends, but now, whenever we agree to meet for brunch, which we try to do at least once a month or two, I always call her the night before. 😀

  12. A few years ago, one of my best friends totally forgot our brunch date on a Saturday morning. I waited for a half-hour and then left. I didn’t have my cell phone with me, so I called her at her boyfriend’s house when I got home. She was deeply apologetic, and her boyfriend gave her a harder time than I did.
    A few months later, it happened again, only this time, I was on crutches from the whole ankle breaking incident. I was pretty pissed this time, and she knew it.
    Both times when we actually did meet up, she paid for my meal, and the second time, she brought me a gift.
    She’s still one of my best friends, but now, whenever we agree to meet for brunch, which we try to do at least once a month or two, I always call her the night before. 😀

  13. I had a history professor at Indiana University for a summer class who had an intense personality. He’d read historical works aloud for dramatic effect and you’d think he was channeling the spirit of the author.
    He hated late students with a passion. He also let us know on the first day of class that no one would be admitted late. He would set the doors so that they would lock when they were closed.
    I was late once, found a locked door, and listened to the lecture while sitting on the floor next to the door since one summer class day is worth about a week’s worth of regular semester classes.

  14. I had a history professor at Indiana University for a summer class who had an intense personality. He’d read historical works aloud for dramatic effect and you’d think he was channeling the spirit of the author.
    He hated late students with a passion. He also let us know on the first day of class that no one would be admitted late. He would set the doors so that they would lock when they were closed.
    I was late once, found a locked door, and listened to the lecture while sitting on the floor next to the door since one summer class day is worth about a week’s worth of regular semester classes.

  15. I had a history professor at Indiana University for a summer class who had an intense personality. He’d read historical works aloud for dramatic effect and you’d think he was channeling the spirit of the author.
    He hated late students with a passion. He also let us know on the first day of class that no one would be admitted late. He would set the doors so that they would lock when they were closed.
    I was late once, found a locked door, and listened to the lecture while sitting on the floor next to the door since one summer class day is worth about a week’s worth of regular semester classes.

  16. Carla! — I love the revised Avatar. Beautiful! Oh, that is so rotten of your friend! Janna is extremely busy and when she makes an appointment to meet someone. She always has to clear time and tide to make room to see them. It always seems to happen — this is an especially East Coast/New York thing — that people cancel one minute before the meeting. So you’re already there and waiting but they don’t think they’ve broken any bonds because they called *before* you were supposed to meet! Gah! Janna has been burned again and again by that last second ploy.
    Dave! — That’s the way to handle the tardies! Let them make their own decision and let them know in advance what your decision will be. Heh!
    Chris! — I love that story and I love that professor! The 30 minute late student at Columbia was locked out of several classes — but she’d pound on the door and I MEAN POUND ON THE DOOR — until someone in class had enough and let her in and she would always say in a loudish whisper to the person who let her in “I’m paying for this class and I have the right to attend whenever I wish.” Luckily the instructor never heard her or she would have been thrown out of the program for that kind of obvious insubordination. One of my professors went to school in California and she was late one day to a chemistry class. That professor locked the door as well and the class met at 8am and since it was a lecture class there were 300 students. The class was held on a ground-level floor and the windows of the room were floor-to-ceiling, so all the average 75 tardy students would all sit outside on the hill in the sun and look in on the class to take notes off the chalkboard and someone “inside” the lecture room would call out on their cellphone to the a tardy friend on the green and they’d turn on their speakerphone so all the tardies could listen in on the lecture as well.

  17. Carla! — I love the revised Avatar. Beautiful! Oh, that is so rotten of your friend! Janna is extremely busy and when she makes an appointment to meet someone. She always has to clear time and tide to make room to see them. It always seems to happen — this is an especially East Coast/New York thing — that people cancel one minute before the meeting. So you’re already there and waiting but they don’t think they’ve broken any bonds because they called *before* you were supposed to meet! Gah! Janna has been burned again and again by that last second ploy.
    Dave! — That’s the way to handle the tardies! Let them make their own decision and let them know in advance what your decision will be. Heh!
    Chris! — I love that story and I love that professor! The 30 minute late student at Columbia was locked out of several classes — but she’d pound on the door and I MEAN POUND ON THE DOOR — until someone in class had enough and let her in and she would always say in a loudish whisper to the person who let her in “I’m paying for this class and I have the right to attend whenever I wish.” Luckily the instructor never heard her or she would have been thrown out of the program for that kind of obvious insubordination. One of my professors went to school in California and she was late one day to a chemistry class. That professor locked the door as well and the class met at 8am and since it was a lecture class there were 300 students. The class was held on a ground-level floor and the windows of the room were floor-to-ceiling, so all the average 75 tardy students would all sit outside on the hill in the sun and look in on the class to take notes off the chalkboard and someone “inside” the lecture room would call out on their cellphone to the a tardy friend on the green and they’d turn on their speakerphone so all the tardies could listen in on the lecture as well.

  18. Carla! — I love the revised Avatar. Beautiful! Oh, that is so rotten of your friend! Janna is extremely busy and when she makes an appointment to meet someone. She always has to clear time and tide to make room to see them. It always seems to happen — this is an especially East Coast/New York thing — that people cancel one minute before the meeting. So you’re already there and waiting but they don’t think they’ve broken any bonds because they called *before* you were supposed to meet! Gah! Janna has been burned again and again by that last second ploy.
    Dave! — That’s the way to handle the tardies! Let them make their own decision and let them know in advance what your decision will be. Heh!
    Chris! — I love that story and I love that professor! The 30 minute late student at Columbia was locked out of several classes — but she’d pound on the door and I MEAN POUND ON THE DOOR — until someone in class had enough and let her in and she would always say in a loudish whisper to the person who let her in “I’m paying for this class and I have the right to attend whenever I wish.” Luckily the instructor never heard her or she would have been thrown out of the program for that kind of obvious insubordination. One of my professors went to school in California and she was late one day to a chemistry class. That professor locked the door as well and the class met at 8am and since it was a lecture class there were 300 students. The class was held on a ground-level floor and the windows of the room were floor-to-ceiling, so all the average 75 tardy students would all sit outside on the hill in the sun and look in on the class to take notes off the chalkboard and someone “inside” the lecture room would call out on their cellphone to the a tardy friend on the green and they’d turn on their speakerphone so all the tardies could listen in on the lecture as well.

  19. Interesting use of cellular technology. I would have never thought of that.
    Of course, people always had tape recorders when I was in school and I’m sure they shared tapes with friends who failed to appear.
    Now, I hear there are note taking services run by enterprising graduate students sitting in on huge lecture classes. If you skip class, you can buy the notes from someone who is smarter than you are.
    No need to worry about being late when you don’t plan to show up at all.

  20. Interesting use of cellular technology. I would have never thought of that.
    Of course, people always had tape recorders when I was in school and I’m sure they shared tapes with friends who failed to appear.
    Now, I hear there are note taking services run by enterprising graduate students sitting in on huge lecture classes. If you skip class, you can buy the notes from someone who is smarter than you are.
    No need to worry about being late when you don’t plan to show up at all.

  21. Interesting use of cellular technology. I would have never thought of that.
    Of course, people always had tape recorders when I was in school and I’m sure they shared tapes with friends who failed to appear.
    Now, I hear there are note taking services run by enterprising graduate students sitting in on huge lecture classes. If you skip class, you can buy the notes from someone who is smarter than you are.
    No need to worry about being late when you don’t plan to show up at all.

  22. Hey Chris —
    What is your take on all of these examples of what I perceive to be a Copyright violation of the professor’s work?
    I always have students who try to tape my lectures so they can share them with friends (sell them to their friends?) but I never allowed them to do that because I consider my lectures my intellectual property that I am providing in a live setting in a certain place and time and the price of the ticket is the tuition you are paying and I only give you the right to transcribe what I say using your mind and hand but not your mechanical device.
    I know some universities now record all lectures as a matter of policy — I would love to know who owns the rights to the lectures — and students can download the lectures to their iPods or even watch them on videotape. The end result is, of course, professors teach to empty classrooms because no student wants to attend class if you can “go to class” while riding your bike or playing volleyball.

  23. Hey Chris —
    What is your take on all of these examples of what I perceive to be a Copyright violation of the professor’s work?
    I always have students who try to tape my lectures so they can share them with friends (sell them to their friends?) but I never allowed them to do that because I consider my lectures my intellectual property that I am providing in a live setting in a certain place and time and the price of the ticket is the tuition you are paying and I only give you the right to transcribe what I say using your mind and hand but not your mechanical device.
    I know some universities now record all lectures as a matter of policy — I would love to know who owns the rights to the lectures — and students can download the lectures to their iPods or even watch them on videotape. The end result is, of course, professors teach to empty classrooms because no student wants to attend class if you can “go to class” while riding your bike or playing volleyball.

  24. Hey Chris —
    What is your take on all of these examples of what I perceive to be a Copyright violation of the professor’s work?
    I always have students who try to tape my lectures so they can share them with friends (sell them to their friends?) but I never allowed them to do that because I consider my lectures my intellectual property that I am providing in a live setting in a certain place and time and the price of the ticket is the tuition you are paying and I only give you the right to transcribe what I say using your mind and hand but not your mechanical device.
    I know some universities now record all lectures as a matter of policy — I would love to know who owns the rights to the lectures — and students can download the lectures to their iPods or even watch them on videotape. The end result is, of course, professors teach to empty classrooms because no student wants to attend class if you can “go to class” while riding your bike or playing volleyball.

  25. Elizabeth and I are going to be visiting the east coast from the 18th to the 25th and would love to see you. We’ll be there precisely when we agree to meet up, whenever and wherever that may be – hopefully at one of a number kosher restaurants we have been missing. 🙂
    As for going to class through your ipod – the person is just fooling themselves! Half of teaching, I think, comes through nonverbal communication. I was in a communication class when the professor was talking about nonverbal communication and he suddenly held up his middle finger – and then proceeded to say that those who were only listening to a recording were missing out on why everyone suddenly laughed at his example of non-verbal communication. 🙂

  26. Elizabeth and I are going to be visiting the east coast from the 18th to the 25th and would love to see you. We’ll be there precisely when we agree to meet up, whenever and wherever that may be – hopefully at one of a number kosher restaurants we have been missing. 🙂
    As for going to class through your ipod – the person is just fooling themselves! Half of teaching, I think, comes through nonverbal communication. I was in a communication class when the professor was talking about nonverbal communication and he suddenly held up his middle finger – and then proceeded to say that those who were only listening to a recording were missing out on why everyone suddenly laughed at his example of non-verbal communication. 🙂

  27. Elizabeth and I are going to be visiting the east coast from the 18th to the 25th and would love to see you. We’ll be there precisely when we agree to meet up, whenever and wherever that may be – hopefully at one of a number kosher restaurants we have been missing. 🙂
    As for going to class through your ipod – the person is just fooling themselves! Half of teaching, I think, comes through nonverbal communication. I was in a communication class when the professor was talking about nonverbal communication and he suddenly held up his middle finger – and then proceeded to say that those who were only listening to a recording were missing out on why everyone suddenly laughed at his example of non-verbal communication. 🙂

  28. Gosh, Gordon, you’re not giving me much notice! 🙂 I’ll see how the sked looks with being out of town and family commitments and all.
    I agree with you about the iPod teaching. A class must be a communion of minds and a sharing of emotions and an exposure of experiences and that can only be created collectively and not apart. I have no idea why any college or university would sanction lecture via iPod because the interaction is only one way leading to a dead end.

  29. I’m so a stickler for being on time. I arrive at work at least 30-45 minutes early because if I leave on how long it should take to get to work I’d never get there and with school in I’d get killed on the school traffic. Every place else I arrive either 10 minutes early or on time. And if I’m late I call.
    Normally I won’t wait but depending on the circumstances I will sometimes but not often.

  30. I’m so a stickler for being on time. I arrive at work at least 30-45 minutes early because if I leave on how long it should take to get to work I’d never get there and with school in I’d get killed on the school traffic. Every place else I arrive either 10 minutes early or on time. And if I’m late I call.
    Normally I won’t wait but depending on the circumstances I will sometimes but not often.

  31. for some reason i tend to find myself in the company of those who have a tendency to be late rather than early… and then it catches on like a bug. i’m trying to be better at it though, being on time, i mean.

  32. hterry — Your routine is my routine! It’s always better to get there early and relax a bit than to arrive late and stressed out!
    suki – Ouch! Stay away from the late-comers! They will only continue to infect your good behavior!
    :mrgreen:

  33. hterry — Your routine is my routine! It’s always better to get there early and relax a bit than to arrive late and stressed out!
    suki – Ouch! Stay away from the late-comers! They will only continue to infect your good behavior!
    :mrgreen:

  34. I suffer from the exact same problem. I’m always on time, as i’ve been raised in a very punctual family, unlike the general culture of my society, where people have no respect for time whatsoever; when you agree on a 7pm appointment, it automatically means 9pm!
    And no matter how “late” i try to be, i’m always the first one there.
    But worst of all, my boyfriend of one year is my complete opposite. If he says he’ll pick me up at 5, he shows up at 7 – when i’ve been dressed and ready for 2 hours, anxious as hell and close to calling our date off.
    And he always seems to think that somehow his excuse is valid; “i was doing some stuff on my pc”, “what can i do!? i fell asleep”…
    and they only make me angrier!
    and to top it off, when i try to push him to get moving, say i call him half an hour before he’s supposed to pick me up to get up and get dressed, he gets angry, and says i’m nagging…
    i have tried so many times to work around it, but i end up frustrated…
    and considering that everything else between us is working fine, and the relationship is getting serious, i worry about stuff like, for example, when we move in together… how will we cope? is there hope for him to change? or is it as impossible for him to change as i think it is for me?

  35. Thanks for the excellent post, CoolYazz!
    My advice is to find a new boyfriend because you’re already upset and seething and neither of you appear to be willing to change.
    Being on time is really important to some and unimportant to others. I think to be content in life you need to surround yourself with people in your private life who share your respect for time and tide and scheduled commitments.

  36. Thanks for the excellent post, CoolYazz!
    My advice is to find a new boyfriend because you’re already upset and seething and neither of you appear to be willing to change.
    Being on time is really important to some and unimportant to others. I think to be content in life you need to surround yourself with people in your private life who share your respect for time and tide and scheduled commitments.

  37. Hi David!
    This post reminds me of ”a deal is a deal”……
    I am absolutely ruthless about it. If someone informs me beforehand that he/she is going to be 2 hrs late because of an emergency….I am fine with that. But someone coming late without any valid reason – well, god help them! Because I won’t! It shows that they are just irresponsible and lack the basic civic sense.