Other than running away and hiding — which we are prone to do — and other than talking slowly in a soft, soothing voice while bearing chocolate gifts and offering foot massages — which few of us are prone to do — what is the best way for a man to avoid the Red River Wrath of the woman he — loves/works alongside/must be in the same room with — but may not be able to tolerate one week a month?

36 Comments

  1. Dave!
    Yes, attentive works until you hear “get out of my face!” and patient works until you hear “hurry up and get out of my face!”
    😀
    Seriously, you offer some excellent advice, though I’m not sure kneading your boss’ back will work.
    I find agreeing with anything spoken to me works pretty well under all conditions.
    Q: How could you be so stupid?
    A: If I were smarter, I would know.
    Q: Stop agreeing with me!
    A: Okay, I won’t.
    Q: Are you patronizing me?
    A: Of course I’m not.
    :mrgreen:

  2. Here are some tips for ya:
    1 – Only speak when you’re asked a question. Good answers are always “Yes, dear” or “Whatever you say dear” or “You never look fat, sweetheart.”
    2 – Imagine the floor is made of eggshells and walking too heavily could shatter them. Think of the muscles you’ll be using to control your movements. It’ll be good for you.
    3 – Whatever you do, NEVER EVER ask if it’s almost that time of the month. You’ll most likely find yourself picking your ass off the floor.
    Hope that helps! 😉 Good luck!
    (not meant to be taken seriously)

  3. Heh… well, that wouldn’t be good either. 😆
    In seriousness, I think the key is that at some point, no matter how men try, they will be on the receiving end of the Red River Wrath. But for most women, they really can’t help it. Some women might (I said, might!) use PMS as an excuse to be bitchy, but I don’t.
    I think another problem comes in where a man feels the need to “fix” the problem. Not all men do this, but some men feel there’s something they can do. In many cases, there isn’t. The whole thing has to run its course, and unfortunately, once it’s done, we may not even apologize for the things we said because we’ve already forgotten about them.
    By the way, David, you haven’t posted this during your sweetheart’s PMS have you? Because that would be a bad idea as well! 😉

  4. Heh… well, that wouldn’t be good either. 😆
    In seriousness, I think the key is that at some point, no matter how men try, they will be on the receiving end of the Red River Wrath. But for most women, they really can’t help it. Some women might (I said, might!) use PMS as an excuse to be bitchy, but I don’t.
    I think another problem comes in where a man feels the need to “fix” the problem. Not all men do this, but some men feel there’s something they can do. In many cases, there isn’t. The whole thing has to run its course, and unfortunately, once it’s done, we may not even apologize for the things we said because we’ve already forgotten about them.
    By the way, David, you haven’t posted this during your sweetheart’s PMS have you? Because that would be a bad idea as well! 😉

  5. Carla/Carla!
    Wow! Great tips!
    No, my sweetness is not there — yet — this month so I’m safe for another day at least!
    She usually warns me when the river is rising and I have learned to mark my calendar in advance of the event so I can ask all my favors before red week hits.
    I learned that trick from a Videographer in Omaha who could not stand the wrath of a local anchorwoman who, for four days each month, would like clockwork viciously attack anyone within three feet of her when she wasn’t on the air.
    He would mark his calendar in advance with a red “P” for the four days she would attack and then would schedule those future days as sick days, vacation days, personal days or “out-in-the-field” work days to avoid her at all costs. I guess I sort of his admire his tenacity to stay out of her way because he knew better.
    😀

  6. Carla/Carla!
    Wow! Great tips!
    No, my sweetness is not there — yet — this month so I’m safe for another day at least!
    She usually warns me when the river is rising and I have learned to mark my calendar in advance of the event so I can ask all my favors before red week hits.
    I learned that trick from a Videographer in Omaha who could not stand the wrath of a local anchorwoman who, for four days each month, would like clockwork viciously attack anyone within three feet of her when she wasn’t on the air.
    He would mark his calendar in advance with a red “P” for the four days she would attack and then would schedule those future days as sick days, vacation days, personal days or “out-in-the-field” work days to avoid her at all costs. I guess I sort of his admire his tenacity to stay out of her way because he knew better.
    😀

  7. Dave —
    Yes, I never know what to say when they tell me that so I usually quickly find an exit and head on out of town. Students and casual friends and faculty members have a habit of sharing that information with me the most but I don’t know any of them well enough to be able to comfort them or serve as an attack recipient.

  8. Dave —
    Yes, I never know what to say when they tell me that so I usually quickly find an exit and head on out of town. Students and casual friends and faculty members have a habit of sharing that information with me the most but I don’t know any of them well enough to be able to comfort them or serve as an attack recipient.

  9. I agree on all Carla’s points! Really, if she warns you that she’s PMSing, just be quiet, do the dishes without being nagged, and don’t speak until spoken to.
    Come to think of it, this would work for me ALL month. 🙂
    Not that this is a good time to recommend it, but I’ve been taking evening primrose oil and it does WONDERS for PMS. Helps with bloating and cramps too.
    Regarding fat stories etc: The bf once told me an ex was pulling on tights and he said, “Wow, those are like sausage casings!” She was furious and he was puzzled — because he didn’t mean she looked fat, he just meant that tights looked like sausage casings.

  10. I agree on all Carla’s points! Really, if she warns you that she’s PMSing, just be quiet, do the dishes without being nagged, and don’t speak until spoken to.
    Come to think of it, this would work for me ALL month. 🙂
    Not that this is a good time to recommend it, but I’ve been taking evening primrose oil and it does WONDERS for PMS. Helps with bloating and cramps too.
    Regarding fat stories etc: The bf once told me an ex was pulling on tights and he said, “Wow, those are like sausage casings!” She was furious and he was puzzled — because he didn’t mean she looked fat, he just meant that tights looked like sausage casings.

  11. This is ridiculous….kind of immaturity too!
    On a different note, how scientific is the concept of this PMSing? Do women really suffer from it? Because I don’t….except certain physical ailments……or, may be I do…I don’t pay much attention to it!

  12. This is ridiculous….kind of immaturity too!
    On a different note, how scientific is the concept of this PMSing? Do women really suffer from it? Because I don’t….except certain physical ailments……or, may be I do…I don’t pay much attention to it!

  13. zia!
    “Don’t speak until spoken to” has a awful and familiar ring to it! Oh, how I wish I could remember that order for more than five minutes!
    😀
    I am convinced there is some kind of hormonal animal attraction that inexplicably draws us nearer to you during “the week” and it only means trouble for those too weak to resist the temptation to intermingle.
    Evening Primrose Oil is also supposed to be good for enhancing your skin. I took it for a summer a few years ago and it make me EXTRA sensitive to the sun. I would burn in five minutes instead of 90 minutes. Scary stuff. It took me a long time to figure out what had changed.
    I can’t think of ANY situation where “stockings as sausage casings” could be taken as an innocent observation.
    😆

  14. Katha —
    PMS-ing generally means being bloated, hurting everywhere, pain in female genital organs and a general feeling of wanting to get even with the world and if that is aiming to high, taking a piece of the nearest man will do in a pinch.
    I guess it’s quite scientific because Midol and Pamprin have made their fortunes off the idea and there are several men who have the war wounds to prove it in the flesh.

  15. I had never heard that e.p. oil was photosensitizing when taken internally, only if used directly on the skin. Live and learn! There could very well be some kind of hormonal thing during that week — but too bad! Unless, of course, she feels the same draw, which many women do.
    Regarding Katha’s question about whether it really exists: I think so, though I also think it (like many things) is completely overhyped.

  16. Zia –
    I was taking Evening Primrose Oil in a gelcap form.
    Yeah. “Too bad.” Too familiar!
    There are some women who have complete personality changes once a month for a week and it can be scary to witness. I’ve been lucky that the women I like are usually unaffected but my mother was one of those “beasts for a week” that made me run and hide.
    I also know women who would PMS and cramp so terribly that they had complete hysterectomies at 16, one at 18 and another friend at 21. They would be doubled over for TWO WEEKS a month, in bed, miserable.

  17. I do experience mood swings during PMS. I can tell when it’s starting as well because I sense myself getting irritated very easily – not wanting to be teased or not wanting to be around people in general. It’s always the worst the day before. I’m not one who really lashes out at others during this time. I get more depressed than anything. I cry over the smallest stupid thing. Plus, I suppose being prone to depression/anxiety in the first place makes those symptoms even worse during that week.
    One other thing that’s weird is that during months when the PMS is bad, my monthly cramps are very mild, but if the PMS is mild, the cramps are excrutiating.
    That’s probably too much info, but I find it interesting.

  18. Part of me has to be offended at this post, I have to say. I do believe that while PMS exists, for the majority of women it has been made up by snickering men (or worse, other women). I just don’t see that time of the month dramatically affecting behavior for most women and I’m tired of the PMS cliches. One thing is for sure – don’t mention PMS as a possible explanation for a woman’s crabby attitude because that will only annoy her more — the idea that a person’s entire psyche can be reduced to a simple hormonal event is dehumanizing and makes a person feel terrible.

  19. Carla!
    Thanks for your Real World information. I appreciate you sharing the reality of your life and your experience matches 90% of the experiences I have had with the women in my life on this very real and important human topic that affects both men and women.

  20. Sorry David! But c’est la vie. 🙂
    Carla, I am so with you. I always forget when I’m supposed to be getting it — and my tipoff is that I feel blue. Then I realize that it’s that time once again. The cramps/PMS thing is interesting too, because I experience the very same thing!

  21. Sharing that time of the Month is not something I would ever do. The only person aside from me to know that info is the hubby to be. And only so he knows to watch his step LOL.
    Ummm, I don’t think there’s any one way to avoid the wrath of a woman on the warpath, nor do I think there’s any one way to try and smooth the situation over.
    In all honesty I would keep quiet and say nothing until she brings the subject up, and then try and smooth things over.
    Now … if you wanna bring those chocolates and a foot massage over this way, I wouldn’t say no …. 😛

  22. With the missus I am the one that usually tells her when the painters are due to call (there I go again with the Brit phrases) I know her cycles so well.
    Dang, it’s been two months, hold on. Okay she doesn’t think she is preggers! Which is good since she has been fixed for quite a while. Okay the pulse can slow down now.
    Hot baths, chocolates, lots of cuddles. But she doesn’t really PMs and get cranky or homocidal.
    But I know not to push stuff just in case. She’s always right and gets whatever she wants.
    Mik

  23. With the missus I am the one that usually tells her when the painters are due to call (there I go again with the Brit phrases) I know her cycles so well.
    Dang, it’s been two months, hold on. Okay she doesn’t think she is preggers! Which is good since she has been fixed for quite a while. Okay the pulse can slow down now.
    Hot baths, chocolates, lots of cuddles. But she doesn’t really PMs and get cranky or homocidal.
    But I know not to push stuff just in case. She’s always right and gets whatever she wants.
    Mik