by The world is award-winning crazy and the delicious fact is none of those awards matter!
The awards ceremonies grow exponentially each year. Soon we’ll all be winning awards for just waking up in the morning. In fact, you just won an award right now: The All-Time Great Blog Reader Award!
Congratulations!
The press and paparazzi are waiting for you right
beyond the red carpet and don’t forget to mention me on your blog and
provide a link back here from the award button you’ll create for me
later.
Awards are a false effort to separate and stratify us from each other. I’m an award winner. You are not. You are a triple award winner. I am a quadruple-ruple award winner.
The award is never about the deed
or the work accomplished. The award, trophy, special group, are all
merely trinkets pretending to be jewels that are shown-off in public
now only to be later whored-out on a resume or a Curriculum Vitae.
My favorite hated awards are those that charge you a fee first in order
to be considered for your outstanding achievement. Do you know the
stars on the Hollywood Walk of Fame
are required to purchase their own star and then agree to pay $5,000.00
a year for life for “upkeep” of their star in the sidewalk?
Many people need to feel better about their sad lives by putting their
deeds above the work of others even if the means of their pretend
superiority is rotten and crumbling in the core.
The primary judge of quality and effectiveness in a life is one’s
innate stability and long-term survivability as a relevant force in the
world. That means of living a life that requires dedication and a
concentrated effort to keep emerging as well as always forcing your
work to achieve higher internal levels of living. The final award is
provided upon the decaying of your death as you hope to live on in the
lives of others.
I came to realize the phoniness of the awards process when a major
television, film and theatrical producer told me all the awards shows
were only marketing tools to help good shows that were in financial
trouble get attention in advertising campaigns after the awards were
awarded.
For the past 20 years I have watched in secret horror as his truth was
confirmed season after season. There are always exceptions to his rule
but more often than not it is the smaller, quality, show that gets a
purposeful boost from an awards show so it can limp on just a bit
longer.
You are even seeing the “Awards Affect” on the web and especially in
blogging. There are now new “exclusive” blogging “communities” that
don’t let everyone inside their self-revering catacombs. You must be
voted in or judged worthy or made to stand on your head and spin around
to win the approval of the self-anointed blogging pimps who pretend to
know the meaning of quality and the depth of a life lived online.
When I am approached with — exclusive offers — to stratify my work
away from the mainstream or if I am given an award with the demand that
I then display that award on my site with a link back to the awarding
governor I always graciously decline those trinkets.
I don’t need an award or fake separation to feel better about myself or
the work I create because the greatest award is gifted in the memories
of those who choose to remember me when I’m gone.
Wow! Thanks David, what an explanation!
And thanks for reminding me the brilliant movie, I watched ‘’Kramer Vs Kramer’’ when I was in my 10th grade and was speechless…..
Whether you give an award or not the performance was immortal…….
This is an unpopular topic, Dave. You know people love to feel wanted right? A pat on the back. A plaque. A trophy. Makes them feel like they matter.
A drug that society requires. Don’t all resumes have open spaces for honors and awards and stuff? I wonder why that’s so important?
Yeah, it’s a game we can’t get away from I guess but it’s interesting in college applications that awards get the same kind of recognition as grades and test scores some places. How do you quantify an an award?
It’s a circle of commerce, soos. Schools love “award winning students” and entities are created to hand out awards — for the right price — and everyone moves up and gets happy and you can play if you can afford to pay for the awards process.
I can’t help but think of this scene from Annie Hall
ANNIE
If you must know, it’s a hectic time
for Tony. The Grammys are tonight.
ALVY
The what?
ANNIE
The Grammys. He’s got a lotta records
up for awards.
ALVY
You mean they give awards for that
kind o’ music?
ANNIE
Oh!
ALVY
I thought just earplugs.
Annie gets into her car. Alvy moves over to his rented convertible.
ANNIE
Just forget it, Alvy, okay? Let’s
just forget the conversation.
She closes the door, starts the motor.
ALVY
(Yelling after her)
Awards! They do nothing but give out
awards! I can’t believe it. Greatest,
greatest fascist dictator, Adolf Hitler!
I don’t really put too much stock in awards, especially web awards. When I first started blogging and using a traffic exchange, it seemed like every third blog had some sort of award for something or other.
For fun, I plugged “awards” into Google. I like it that the Darwin Awards get the top billing after all of the other 808,000 listings for “awards” on Google.
A 2005 Darwin Award winner that caught my eye was one for an impatient individual who couldn’t stand to wait for his lava light to heat up and become active. The award was won when a shard of glass shot through the receipient’s heart when the lava lamp exploded. It seems that these lights aren’t designed to handle the heat a stove can produce.
Unfortunately, Darwin Award winners cannot enjoy all of the benefits that come from winning their award because they’re all dead as a result of their behavior.
Gordon!
Excellent.
Hilarious!
Thanks for digging that up!
Chris!
Thanks for making me laugh out loud! I love your Google search return of 808,000 listings for “awards” — I’m sure a week from now that number will be well over a million!
The Darwin Awards sound divine: The Award You Never Want to Win!
You know somewhere in America there is a high school senior applying to colleges and in the student’s bio appears the line, “my father was a former Darwin Award Winner…”
😆
I just re-ran a Google search for “awards” and it is up to 1,670,000,000 pages containing the term!
I don’t know if it is because I connected to a different Google server (they have a couple of different ones and results can vary between the servers) or if there has been an explosion of webpages containing the term “awards” since my last post.
Well, Chris, I think you are just proving the explosion of new awards being created between every breath we take!
Don’t check again! The results could explode your computer and bits of plastic might lodge in the heart making you the latest Darwin Award Winner!
I think that Darwin Award one with the lava lamp happened in this state if I remember correctly. I’ve read the Darwin Awards book.
[Hangs head in shame] I recently submitted my blog to a review blog that usually tears bloggers a new one for their blogs. we got off okay with some useful suggestions about improving the blog.
I was going to wear the “web award” with pride but now I feel [with dramatic flourish he holds back of palm to forehead]…..nah, it was fun. Some of these people that review other sites do have helpful suggestions sometimes.
I rarely watch movie awards shows, hold no interest just like I don’t pay much heed to movie critics reviews. I’ll make my own mind up thank you.
Mik
Mik!
I find it sad and funny that you are previously familiar with past winners of the Darwin Awards!
😀
It’s interesting you would willingly submit your blog to a site set up to excoriate you.