There is a thin line of blood between Love and Hate. Love and Hate inspire the same fury of emotion as well as similar rises in blood pressure and changes in brain chemistry. Some wonder how Love can so quickly turn into Hate.

The process is easy to understand if you consider the loss of affection as the “on” switch for Hate. The instant contempt is recognized in a relationship — either romantic or friendly — a line has been forever crossed and the switch is thrown.

Once Love is lost, Hatred remains forever because the betrayal of Love must never be forgiven and that is why it is rare, if ever, to see Hatred cross the same line back into Love.


  1. It was a boyfriend and he was my first love. When we broke up he said it would be easy to hate him than to keep on loving him. I guess he was right. Didn’t feel much better for it though.

  2. That’s rough, Jen, sorry to hear about your trouble in love.
    It’s sort of sad that it is so much easier and convenient to hate than to love. I wonder when hating became a better choice for coping than moving loving from the passionate to the platonic?

  3. I guess love is too hard to take if it isn’t around you every day. Love means a connection. If you break up you lose closeness. Lose what you love and you have to hate it for awhile get it it out of you maybe.

  4. Thanks it gets better every day. Next time it will be easier. Isn’t there a saying you never love as much as you did the first time for the rest of your life?

  5. What do you do when you feel indifferent after a relationship (in general – friendship, romantic interest, family, whatever…) is over?
    It happened with me a few times which made me think about the depth of that particular relationship.
    If you are concerned about the person you will feel something – it might be positive or negative. What if there is no feeling? Is that the “height of hatred?”
    Love is a conscious decision – not an emotion, at least according to me. And if things don’t work? Well, it depends upon individual defense mechanism the way they are going to handle it.

  6. Hi Katha!
    If there is indifference now then there was never any love in the first place.
    Romantic love is not a conscious decision — it is an impulse, a spark — which is either honored or repressed. The mind matters not in affairs of the passionate heart.

  7. I beg to differ David! 😀
    Romantic/ passionate love is an emotion – yes, initially. If one/ both decide to stay in that relationship then definitely it’s a conscious decision/ choice. It can’t be based on impulse. Because to stay together you need to embrace/ accommodate each other – regardless of each other’s positive and negative point. It’s a question of conscious acceptance. Emotion erodes communication, which I think is the most significant ingredient of a relationship.

  8. You are trying to rationalize romantic love, Katha. You can’t because it cannot be fitted in a box or wrapped up in logic. Romantic Love makes no sense — there may be decisions that can later be quantified that come out of that initial spark — but love cannot be researched or evaluated in a scientific manner. Its immutable spark is the ignition of humankind.

  9. What great sayings! I love that kind of stuff that makes you think more clearly so we can see the light and change our wrong attitudes. God Bless you.

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