Has anyone ever called you a “Control Freak?”
If so, what exactly does that phrase mean and how did you respond when the label was first attached?


Those who don’t know me have accused me of being a “Control Freak” and
I always feel offended and misunderstood when that phrase is barbed at
me.
Is a Control Freak a Perfectionist?

Are you a Control Freak if you enjoy getting the details right and
providing form and creating function and marking smoothness in
operating effortlessly through life?
Are you a Control Freak if you have Plan B, Plan C and Plan D to backup
Plan A?

Are you a Control Freak if you innately know the best way to do
something in the shortest amount of time?
Are you a Control Freak if you ask for everyone’s opinion and then
choose the best one?

Are you a Control Freak if you prefer to sit in a restaurant with your
back to the wall and your eyes pointed on the door?
Are you a Control Freak for demanding the same quality and
consideration in work habit and ethics that you provide without anyone
demanding it from you?

Are you a Control Freak if you refuse to take an online “Are You a
Control Freak?” test because you know those web exams are a setup and
are shallow and pithy and created to accuse and finger point you over
to self-help books on sale and online classes in stress reduction
offered at a discount?
It is the brand of the “Control Freak” to reject that label and prefer
“Watchdog of Excellence” instead?

63 Comments

  1. Control Freak – You called ? – ( A blog post dedicated to me – sorry us !)
    You say “control freak” like it is a bad thing! Don’t take offense – celebrate the fact that you are in control as much as you can be – remember they are just jealous because they are not!
    Gets serious for a moment and answers the questions.
    Q: Has anyone ever called you a “Control Freak?”
    A: Yes
    Q. If so, what exactly does that phrase mean and how did you respond when the label was first attached?
    A. To me it means I like to be in control of myself and my environment as much as I can. I choose my company carefully – I avoid certain places – and I get to control my relationships by negotiation and consent. I can also micromanage.
    Wiki says ” A control freak is a derogatory term for a person who has an obsessive need to control other people or situations. ”
    I wouldnt say I am obsessive – I just am – it is the way I was made, it is the way I work – if other people dont like it tough!
    The advantage of my lifestyle is ( as you may have noted) that I can actually take pride in being a control freak – it works really well for me.
    Those who don’t know me have accused me of being a “Control Freak” and I always feel offended and misunderstood when that phrase is barbed at me.
    Why do you feel so offended? Is it the control bit that offends, or the freak bit – or the combination – or is it the tone of voice that it is delivered with? Or is it the fact that you are misunderstood?
    Q. Is a Control Freak a Perfectionist?
    A. I can’t and won’t presume to answer for others. Personally I have high expectations of myself and tend to expect the same of others – which are often not met. I am also lazy at times so I many not fit the general model in that respect.
    Q. Are you a Control Freak if you enjoy getting the details right and providing form and creating function and marking smoothness in operating effortlessly through life?
    A. I would say yes if this extends beyond yourself – ie if you manage your relationship and environment.
    Q. Are you a Control Freak if you have Plan B, Plan C and Plan D to backup Plan A?
    A. I am a control freak – I do this – there may be other that do this who are not control freaks.
    Q. Are you a Control Freak if you innately know the best way to do something in the shortest amount of time?
    A. We have a saying for this D.I.M – do it myself !
    Q. Are you a Control Freak if you ask for everyone’s opinion and then choose the best one?
    A. Some people might just call that sensible – but that is something else I do. Make sense to me to listen to the opinions and arguments and to work things through sensibly.
    Q. Are you a Control Freak if you prefer to sit in a restaurant with your back to the wall and your eyes pointed on the door?
    A. That could just be INTJ’s !
    Q. Are you a Control Freak for demanding the same quality and consideration in work habit and ethics that you provide without anyone demanding it from you?
    A. I think that is a normal expectation (but then again I am a control freak).
    Q. Are you a Control Freak if you refuse to take an online “Are You a Control Freak?” test because you know those web exams are a setup and are shallow and pithy and created to accuse and finger point you over to self-help books on sale and online classes in stress reduction offered at a discount?
    A. Where is it ? – I dont need any self help – I know exactly what I want and usually how to get it.
    Q. It is the brand of the “Control Freak” to reject that label and prefer “Watchdog of Excellence” instead?
    A. If I was excellent I could comment on that . I do feel though that a individuals we have the right not only to self control, but also to control OUR space and OUR environment how we wish. That means things get done the way we want it – if that is excellence – so be it.
    (CONTROL FREAK AND PROUD OF IT).

  2. Hi Nicola!
    “CONTROL FREAKS UNITE!” — That was the original title of the article today but then as I started pondering the topic and writing about it I began to realize the phrase is not one offered up as a term of endearment or respect. The phrase is meant to belittle and insult those who choose to have determined taste and aesthetic and a purpose in trying to live a life of excellence.
    I chose “Watchdog of Excellence” to celebrate the behavior by changing the label assigned to the misinterpreted action.
    I am offended by the phrase becasue people who know me don’t use it — so those who try to use it against me are those who are judging me without knowing me and their intent is to draw a little blood or raise a little anger.
    I do not wear that negative label as a positive as you do because the purpose of the phrase is not born of goodness — and that’s fine people can say and do as they wish — but don’t expect me to smile as you try to pour your bile down my throat.
    Here are a couple of tests you can take. I think they are so silly:
    http://www.google.com/search?q=%22control%20freak
    I JUST CAN’T WAIT TO HEAR FROM BUDGIE ON THIS TOPIC!
    :mrgreen:

  3. Hi David,
    I don’t get the sense that you or Nicola are control freaks in the sense that I define the word.
    For my personality and management style, I’m more of a “delegate and let the person who has been given the assignment rise to the challenge” personality type. I know if I try to do it all and expect everything to be done perfectly every time, I could be working 40 hours a day. 😉
    The definition of “Control Freak” is more than just expecting the best from people.
    Control freaks excercise power over people to compensate for their shortcomings. They are the people who when given a position of authority abuse it to boost their little ego and poor self-esteem.
    I don’t think the term “control freak” applies to you or Nicola using this definition, from what I’ve observed.
    It’s okay to expect competence and quality. Actually, it’s required, otherwise we’d all sink to the path of least resistance and start slacking in whatever our assigned duties are.
    It’s another thing to become “Big Brother” and have your hands on everything and everyone’s business.
    The control freak wants to let everyone know what his or her place is by not letting them rise to the challenge.
    The control freak gets upset if you are driving and use a parallel street, instead of their usual route.
    Control freaks are the kinds of people who are standing over your shoulder, watching everything you do, without helping to improve your skills or understanding.
    They make you wait for no reason. except to assert their authority or power over you.
    They are the kinds of people who put up checkpoints on public roads to keep strangers away.
    Control freaks also micromanage jobs to the point they drive competent subordinates to quit in frustratiuon of not having any discretion to do their job appropriately.
    Control freaks are different than a leader who expects quality work to be done in the most effective way.
    Control freaks are driven less by excellence and more by the need to feel good about themselves.
    Watchdogs of excellence are good.
    Control freaks need medication. 😉

  4. Now I am getting the picture about how the term is used on the other side of *that* line – the “us” and them line. The “us” being the BDSM Community – the them being the world at large. Thank you Chris for your explanations.
    This side of the line is is almost always a term of respect and is worn with some modicum of pride.
    The term watchdog of excellence is something I can relate to – I hope that in some ways I am helping drive up the expected standards towards excellent.
    However it sounds altogether too much like a government agency – or government program that is coated in so much spin and history of failure – that you know it will be a disaster before it starts. Sadly the labour government in this country has turned the phrase “standard of excellence” into a joke at best and an insult at worst. Standard of excellence = falling literacy rates in our schools and poorly managed hospitals.
    I will pass on the tests for now – but have bookmarked them for when curiosity gets the better of me.
    Budgie will reply when he has finished his tasks – unloading the dishwasher !

  5. Hi Nicola,
    If the “Watchdog of Excellence” was a government agency, as soon as a leader was appointed, a special Grand Jury would be convened to investigate everything that it was doing wrong.
    The “Watchdog” would be one of those “pre-indicted” positions where anyone who is appointed to it ends up going to jail for some corruption charge after a couple of years. 🙂
    Looking at the term “control freak” from your term of view is interesting.
    There are a lot of people who don’t mind a “freak” taking “control” of the situation in certain circumstances, as in, She’s innocent in public, but freaky in private. 😉 Sometimes, they just don’t want to admit it!

  6. Chris!
    Thank you for that outstanding definition. You said it better than I did!
    😀
    I, too, believe in delegation of authority and tasks. You cannot be a one-person band and have great success beyond your own small life.
    Empowering others with you power is what forges the chain of excellence between us.
    I call this “The Golden Circle” of education where my students get my knowledge and the knowledge of those who taught me and those who taught my teachers and so on back to the first moment a thought was shared with someone else.
    That is why I beg my students to share what they know with others and to say “yes” more often than “no” so the Golden Circle will continue to be kept alive with new thoughts.

  7. Thanks for explaining the phrase from your view, Nicola!
    Perhaps we could re-label ourselves “The Department of Homeland Watchdogs” or, even better, “The Watchdogs of the Excellent Homeland.”
    This silly-naming reminds me of a recent Garrison Keillor piece discussing the ridiculous airline security measures (the Texas pest is Tom Delay):

    It all began with the name Homeland Security. Somebody with a tin ear came up with that, maybe the pest exterminator from Texas, or Adm. Poinduster, because, friends, Americans don’t refer to this as our homeland. It’s an alien term, like Fatherland or Deutschland or Tomorrowland. Irving Berlin didn’t write “God Bless Our Homeland.” You never heard John Wayne say, “Men, we’re going over that hill and we’re going to kick those krauts out of there. And we’re going to raise the flag of the homeland.”
    “Homeland” was a word you heard shrieked by a cruel man flicking his riding crop against his shiny black boots: “Zie homeland — ve shall defend it at all costs, achwohl!” Americans live in Our Country, America, the nation of nations, the good old USA.
    But they couldn’t call it the Department of National Security because there was one of those already, so they created this new Achtung bureau to make us take off our shoes and put the toothpaste in the checked luggage and dump the coffee. The jihadists we’re afraid of are, so far as we know, young Muslim men from the Middle East, not old grandmas named Evelyn and Gladys married to soybean farmers, and not even old white guys like me, but nonetheless they pat us down for plastic explosives under our Sansabelts and have us raise our stockinged feet to be wanded for possible toe bombs. It’s all to make us feel we’re in a movie and it will have a happy ending.

    http://www.salon.com/opinion/feature/2006/09/13/keillor/index.html

  8. Has anyone ever called you a “Control Freak?”
    – Not openly, but people often assume that I am one. I was accused of being “too authoritative” once.
    If so, what exactly does that phrase mean and how did you respond when the label was first attached?
    – I don’t bother much about it if a group of mere acquaintance/colleagues say it; because I know deep down there is an insecurity… but I do get upset if/when someone close calls me a “control freak” or comes up with a counter attack assuming me being a control freak – it just shuts me down. I never claim that I have to have the last word…but when I sense a power struggle with someone close – I just give up. I don’t succumb under pressure, mind it – I just give up knowing/sensing fully well that there is no point to be involved in a futile commotion. The point is it sometimes gives people enormous pleasure that they are being in control! But the only problem is my patience has a limit! 😀
    Is a Control Freak a Perfectionist?
    – I am not sure. I think I am a perfectionist, but at the same time I look for whether the objectives are met, and if/when someone comes up with a better idea than mine – the field is all his/hers!
    Are you a Control Freak if you enjoy getting the details right and providing form and creating function and marking smoothness in operating effortlessly through life?
    – If it limits within my life – no.
    Are you a Control Freak if you have Plan B, Plan C and Plan D to backup Plan A?
    -Most of the time I don’t have anything beyond Plan B, I am not a very far sighted person, but I always do have a flexible back up plan and I think that’s just being cautious.
    Are you a Control Freak if you innately know the best way to do something in the shortest amount of time?
    -No. That’s what is needed. The question is to convey the message without creating a furor.
    Are you a Control Freak if you ask for everyone’s opinion and then choose the best one?
    -No, that’s what I do.
    Are you a Control Freak if you prefer to sit in a restaurant with your back to the wall and your eyes pointed on the door?
    -I was not sure, didn’t pay much attention to it before but now I know I don’t feel very comfortable if my back is facing to the entrance.
    Are you a Control Freak for demanding the same quality and consideration in work habit and ethics that you provide without anyone demanding it from you?
    -No.
    Are you a Control Freak if you refuse to take an online “Are You a Control Freak?” test because you know those web exams are a setup and are shallow and pithy and created to accuse and finger point you over to self-help books on sale and online classes in stress reduction offered at a discount?
    -I never took any online test other than MBTI/Enneagram/True Color Personality test, I don’t think I would do it – ever.
    It is the brand of the “Control Freak” to reject that label and prefer “Watchdog of Excellence” instead?
    -As long as I am giving my best and so do others – I don’t bother about the ‘label’ – call us whatever you want.
    Finally, you can ‘control’ your circumstances/environment even when you are losing it, consciously – that’s the biggest fun! 😀

  9. Hi Katha!
    Love your answers!
    The most interesting one was you being uncomfortable with your back to the door because Nicola thought that might be an INTJ thing and not a Control Freak/Watcher of Homeland Excellence thing.
    Why do you think you prefer to face the door?
    At a restaurant do you prefer a table or a booth?

  10. Hi David,
    I like the “Golden Circle” idea!
    I’ve found that a lot of my learning has been based up on what others have told me.
    Not too long ago, I found myself telling someone new the same things someone had told me when I was brand new. There’s something rewarding in being able to pass along knowledge.

  11. Hi Chris —
    Isn’t all knowledge recycled? Isn’t that what’s great about it? We all know just enough and when we pass on those ideas then we learn more and we find other recycled bins of thought to trash around in for awhile to see what else is out there.
    Education is, and always has been a “handed down” sharing of what’s important and what has resonance and meaning in each of us. As Dr. Howard Stein taught me, “You pitch ideas and values to every student but only a few of them in a teaching career will learn how to catch what you mean it and carry it on.”

  12. I’ve found that I things I learned in school didn’t really seem to make sense until someone else in the “real world” explained the same thing and showed how to put the theory into action. Sometimes to circle needs to be travelled a couple of times for knowledge to come into focus.
    The guy I passed my knowledge onto was new to Illinois, just as I had been not too long ago. I had known him from dealings in Indiana, so it was nice to pass along what to expect and what basic “routine” actions would probably be taken in the majority of cases.
    I did the same thing with another new guy as well. Both were from different firms, so passing along knowledge wasn’t for personal gain, but done in the spirit of camaraderie.
    It’s a small world — even though it sometimes seems large — and small courties make the difference between civilization and “every person for him- and herself.”
    Of course, someone had taken me under their wing and had told me the same things when I was brand new and unsure of what to expect. It’s also a duty to share knowledge and not keep it secret.

  13. Right on, Chris!
    I believe everything is already known — we just have to find a way to discover that we know.
    There is already a cure for cancer.
    We have a way to live on Mars.
    We can determine peace in the Middle East.
    It just takes the right person at the right time who has the ability to “click in” all the clues of learning that have been passed down to put it all together.
    It takes a lot of abstract thinking in coordination with an analytical mind. That is a rare combination.
    Edison, Tesla and Einstein are probably the latest examples of that kind of simple, childlike, brilliance that changes the world and the way the rest of us think about things.

  14. “Has anyone ever called you a ‘Control Freak?'”
    Only by about everyone with whom I’ve had a group project and been made group leader. Everyone else thinks I’m generally a mellow person. However, when placed “in charge” by the group, it seems I feel obligated to the group getting from point A to point Z and all the progress points in between.
    The accusations have come from people who promise to do A, B, C, and D by time X and have failed to start any of them or even bothered to show up at point X. There are warnings given to said individuals and at my worst I have been known to boot someone out of my group a day before a project was due as they had offered no contributions to the group effort.

  15. A S!
    Now that’s interesting because in talking with you informally in email you are laid-back and fun and, frankly, a pure delight!
    If not for leaders like you — nothing would ever get done! That isn’t a Control Freak. That’s the job of the leader!
    I love it that you kick people out of your group who don’t perform. Well done!

  16. Hi David,
    It’s always interesting also how many of the great thinkers weren’t recognized as such immediately.
    Most, it seems, showed brilliance, but also had to overcome the prevailing notions of the day to have their theories accepted into mainstream thinking.
    Sometimes knowledge requires repeating the lessons until they “sink in.”

  17. The more we discuss this the more I think that in the general context this is a label applied by those who cannot excercise self control and cannot get things done to those that can and do – it is their way of expressing their resentment and make themselves feel better by trying to bully those that can and do.

  18. Chris!
    Yes, sometimes the brightest students are the quietest and you have to pull on them to get them to share what they’re thinking. They are usually quiet because they are tired of being misunderstood and mocked. Sometimes the brightest ideas are made fun of in brainstorming sessions and we all need to be careful to consider the merits of even the wildest idea.

  19. Labels.. don’tcha just love ’em? 🙂
    The problem with labels is that they can mean totally different things to different people. Even more so, to different people of different continents.
    As Nicola has said, in our BDSM community, “control freak” is almost like a badge of office, or at the very least, a good quality to have, if you are a Master or a Mistress. As her slave, I have willingly given up control to her. I have done so as a gift, because I know that, as a control freak that gift is appreciated and valued. However, of far more value is the knowledge that I have given up control to her as a mark of respect and acknowledgement that she will not abuse that gift and that she will use it wisely, to the benefit of us both.
    Here we go again with the labels, Master, Mistress, slave. All these labels mean different things to different people and certainly a lot of those ourside our BDSM community would have a different understanding of what a Mistress and slave relationship would entail, than is actually the case.
    A stereotypical, uninformed view might be that a slave is a weak person in such a relationship. Far from it. It takes a lot of strength to willingly give up control to another person. Even though I have the label “slave”, I consider myself to have a far greater strength of character than a lot of others within our community who have the label of Master. The uneducated would look at the label of “slave” and think they might be of inferior status in a Mistress/slave relationship, but that is not the case.
    Because we, in the BDSM community, are used to having labels put upon us which are intended as derogatory by those, less well informed, outside the community, we are more comfortable wearing those labels, but with pride.
    We are called perverts by some, in a derogatory tone. But taken quite literally perverted can mean differing from the norm or deviating from what is considered right and correct. I don’t have a problem with that description, I am proud to be different, I am pleased that I am free thinking and individualistic enough to go against the flow as far as what others believe to be right and correct, providing my actions and choices cause no harm or ill effects to others. We all differ from the norm in some way or other. Indeed, it would be a boring world if we all had the same tastes, likes and dislikes. We are all perverts in some shape or form! 🙂
    We, in the BDSM community are comfortable in differing from the norm and therefore we are generally comfortable in labelling ourselves with the term “pervert”. However, we are also well aware that others use the label offensively towards us. If the average person sees the word “pervert” they will associate that with a child molester or rapist.
    Therefore, when it comes to a label like “control freak”, some of us are happy to admit to being a control freak because it has positive and beneficial connotations with the roles we have within our BDSM relationships. We are happy with the term because within our relationships, the control is freely and consensually given up and accepted in a responsible and appreciative manner.
    Control of ourselves and our environment is fine, control of others, if they have agreed to hand over that control is also fine. The label “control freak” in relation to either of those two cases should be used in a descriptive, rather than a derogatory manner. It is acceptable and, indeed, a postive trait for a person to have control over themselves and their environment and even over others who have acquiesced to control being handed over.
    Where it is not acceptable, and where the term “control freak” is justifiably viewed as a negative and derogatory label is where a persons need for control extends to areas that affect others or where a person controls others in a non-consensual manner. Chris has perfectly described several excelelnt examples of where people take control unconsensually from others in order to make themselves feel more important or to benefit themselves at the expense of taking away control from others.
    Is Nicola a control freak? Most definitely and proud to be so!! However, the line that she does not cross and where she ceases to be a control freak is when it comes to matters which affect others. The only exception being with regard to myself, who has given over control to her consesnually.

  20. David,
    Thanks for your kind words. However, I don’t particularly enjoy being thrust into a position of leadership. And decline whenever possible. I have a preference for working alone on most projects if given the option, even if it requires more effort on my part as it produces less stress and tension.

  21. budgie!
    You were let out of the dishwasher to comment! Yay! I hope you were at least covered with relish and doused in mustard for that chore!
    :mrgreen:
    Now, when you and your Watcher of Homeland Excellence comment and mention “BDSM” you must, every single time, explain what that means because few know. Your comment was spectacularly specific so we were able to divine the meaning but, en passant, few would catch what you are flinging when serving that acronym.
    I understand you are a “Collared Slave.” Now does that mean you are tethered to something at all times? Do you wear the collar 24/7? Are you clothed? Are you allowed to make any free-will decisions or must you always ask? If you can’t answer here, blink twice, and I’ll have the police sent over immediately to free you!
    😉

  22. A S!
    I’m with you! I, too, prefer to work alone on stuff because no one is harder on me than me so I know the job will turn out fine in the end.
    I also don’t volunteer to lead. If asked to lead, I will, but few are used to the kind of pressure I put on myself to find success and they would rather complain than do their share. I move on without them but they always try to punish me in the end for leaving them behind.

  23. I am not sure why I don’t feel comfortable having my back faced the door…
    I think subconsciously I am always on guard – that might be the reason.
    “Let’s hope for the best but prepare for the worst!”

  24. Yes, we keep returning to the core: Is that by design or happenstance?
    A mixture of both I suspect. There are core issues that exist and they are at the root of almost everything that you might choose to discuss – that is how pernicious they are !

  25. David,
    Sorry, I perhaps wrongly assume that most people understand roughly what I am relating to when using the BDSM acronym. It is an acronym which covers three subgroupings. There’s probably a special name for this type of acronym which I am sure either you or one of your other well educated commentators will be able to enlighten me with. The three subgroupings are: Bondage and Discipline, Domination and submission, Sadism and masochism.
    The term “collared slave” refers to a level of commitment to a Master or Mistress. A collar is equivalent in vanilla (non-BDSM) terms to a wedding ring. The collar itself is not necessarily a physical collar, although a slave or a submissive in a collared relationship would normally have some type of physical collar as a symbol of their commitment. It is not necessarily a collar in the traditonal sense of the word and, no, I am not tethered to something at all times or indeed any time, except maybe when we are playing. The collar I have at the moment is a silver linked chain, similar to the sort of chains that lots of guys wear aound their necks.
    You will be pleased to know that I AM clothed and that I am allowed to make free-will decisions, providing, of course, that I take responsibility for those decisions!! 🙂
    There are various rituals we observe in our normal day to day life, just as little reminders which help reinforce our respective status’. For instance, I ask for permission before I have a cigarette, or go to the bathroom. Permission is very rarely denied, but it is a nice little ritualistic reminder throughout the day.
    If we are in the company of non-BDSM people, permission is still usually sought, but in a much more subtle way, I might hold up a cigarette, catch Nicola’s eye and receive a slight nod of the head in affirmation, which would be virtually imperceptible to those we were with.

  26. I think I am alert and quick enough to choose a seat that faces the entrance and most of the time I do it unconsciously.
    I don’t remember asking anyone in my group to change seats with me because of this reason – probably I won’t. But I know I will feel uncomfortable – deep down…

  27. budgie —
    Fascinating! I appreciate being brought up to speed on the “collared” issue.
    It seems like going to the bathroom would be the one thing you would naturally be allowed to do without having to ask permission first.
    Are you two ever apart? If so, can you have a smoke or do you have to wait until she returns for permission to be granted?
    I noticed you called her “Nicola” in your comment. Is that how you address her in person or do you address her in a different manner?

  28. We are very rarely apart.
    If Nicola is not in the immediate vicinity, then I am allowed to have a smoke or go to the bathroom without her permission.
    I referred to her as Nicola in my comment because, although I would usually address her as Mistress when we are alone, we would not non-consensually involve others either directly or indirectly in our relationship. Consent is a fundamental consideration in BDSM and that extends to having the respect to not involve others non-consensually in any way. If I were to address her as Mistress in public, then that would maybe cause others some degree of embarrassment. As I am commenting in an arean which is open to the public, I extend the same considerations here and would not normally refer to our BDSM relationship, except, of course, when specifically asked.

  29. Nicola – the idea of a human pyramid is a little scary at this age – that’s how I hurt myself – 😀
    I will be more than a happy spectator of watching David and you- as long as you guys watch my back! 😀

  30. budgie!
    Wowser! Fascinating. What a life you have!
    After reading your message I am now tempted to ask everyone I see wearing a heavy chain, “Is that a collar?”
    I would probably either get a smile or a punch in the nose for asking!

  31. “Katha – we sorted that one on one of the other threads recently – I get the chair , David sits on my lap – so I guess you had better sit on his ! ”
    So where do I sit?

  32. I would have thought that I’d be the type to always have to face the door when I go to a restaurant, but I just got back and I sat with my back to a busy door.
    Of course, it was a cross-fire, because I was facing another busy door, so I guess I could keep my eyes open for threats to my 12 o’clock and my lunch partner to my 6 o’clock. 🙂
    I didn’t even think about sitting right next to the entranceway. If I was really seeking the safest and most “in control” location for observation and strategic/tactical superiority, I would have sat in a different location away from the flow of people.

  33. Hi David,
    Actually the “crossfire” tactic fits into my collabrative management style:

    Siting weapons this way is an example of the application of the defensive principle of mutual support. The advantage of siting weapons that mutually support one another is that it is difficult for an attacker to find a covered approach to any one defensive position.

    http://www.answers.com/topic/crossfire
    To use this type of tactic requires giving up some control to someone else while they do the same.