We love cats.

We love dogs.

We love all animals.

We do not, however, love all animal owners and in our direct experience and in our non-scientific research, we have come to the following conclusion: Cat People are better than Dog Folk and we’ll tell you why.

Freedom Over Control
Cats love to roam while dogs hang around. Cats are active explorers; dogs merely accompany.

Cats are self-entertaining — dogs need to perform for others to find self-satisfaction.

Independence Over Obedience
You do not tell cats what to do; you only make suggestions. Dogs live to be ordered around.

Cats choose owners that believe in liberty, freedom and The American Way and that means cats are self-providers: They can hunt down and kill their own dinner.

Dogs are bound to those who leash, command, and demand slobbering affection; dogs depend on the kindness of others to have their feed bowls filled twice-a-day.

Cats climb trees and fall from them without getting hurt. Dogs chase cats up trees so they can wonder at the example of “Falling, But Living” in the example of Nine Lives.

Pooping Over Eating Poo
Cats do not eat their own poo — dogs do. Enough said.

Conclusion
We hope you learned a lot on this limited trek through the domesticated animal world. If you are a dog owner, we feel for you and we live in fear of you.

Your control issues and demands for obedience carries over into your real life with others and your leashing of ideas becomes the lashing of those who do not agree with you. If you are a Cat Lover, we salute and pet you!

Your spirit and your need to allow others to feel their own way in the world — all while watching out for them — is a necessary and valued morality missing in the world today.

There’s a reason you hear about Crazy Cat Ladies and never Ditzy Dog Women: Cats are mystical and ethereal and they control your mind and essence — while dogs merely survive in space and wait in time for confirmation they’re important and wanted and they require the grace of others to live.

55 Comments

  4. Are you saying we can predict what we know about people by looking at their pets?

  10. It is known that a dog is equivalent to a two year old human who is capable to understand, comprehend and decode almost 260 words and signals. Whereas a cat is supposed to be equivalent of an 18 month old human which can understand/know about 50 words.
    http://encarta.msn.com/encnet/Features/Columns/?article=catsanddogsdogthink
    Should we say a cat has his own mind/attitude/independence…whatever because it can’t comprehend enough? Because it’s a brat? And as a result act like an anarchist? So does the cat owner?
    Conclusion:
    Cats are laid back – aka lazy.
    I don’t remember seeing a cat squad to detect a bomb or something equally dangerous.
    A healthy German shepherd is any day a better partner than a cat. A cat can never be a partner – it’s way too immature to be one!
    Long live dogs!!! Dogs rock!!! So do the owners!!!

  11. Dear Steve —
    Welcome to Urban Semiotic! You don’t THINK your dog has eaten its own poo — but it is part of their poo-eating nature to ingest their own waste.
    Cats are famous for eating their own vomit — but that vomit has already been approved and digested, so it goes down easier the second time.

  12. Katha!
    We thank you for helping us make our case against dogs. Yes, dogs live to please while cats live to please only themselves.
    Dog Folk are judgmental and control freaks!
    Cat People live life as it comes.

  13. You are welcome!
    A few more points to be noted:
    Cats don’t eat their poo but enjoy their own kittens as meal instead!!!
    http://www.messybeast.com/kill_kit.htm
    Dogs understand the importance of a friendly environment and try to create one.
    Cat people are better suited in an isolated island with their cats!

  14. Hello Katha!
    Thank you for once again providing a defense for cats being superior over dogs!
    We’d believe your kitten-eating defense of dogs if it were coming from a scholarly source!
    Dogs are needy and in need of confirmation of their worth.
    Cats control their surroundings and those in the immediate area: Natural leaders, they are!

  16. Emily!
    We are fond of you, but WE KNOW YOU ARE DOG PEOPLE!
    You are not, in any way, a candidate for Crazy Cat Lady.
    Confess this now!

  18. Who, me? I love kitties! Can’t get enough of them! They’re just so…so…um…
    Okay okay, I admit it! I love the licking, sniffing, slobbering, lumbering, smelling, grunting, farting, snoring Bulldog that rules my house more than I could ever love a kitty.
    Brutus can chew up a shoe, slobber on my sofa or drink out of the toilet and I’ll still think, “Well…at least I don’t have to clean out a litterbox!”
    KATHA AND EMILY RULE!!! DOG PEOPLE UNITE!!!!

  19. Yes! Emily! We rule!!!
    A dog is anyday better than a temperamental spoilt brat!!! I mean cat!!! 😀

  20. No, cats rule! They are calm and warm, know how to take care of themselves without you teaching them, and independent!
    And you can teach them to use the toilet http://www.citikitty.com/?gclid=CLCHwL-R3IoCFRJgMAodyU2D2A .
    Some of them even learn how to flush – dogs have to be taught things pretty much everything, but cats are curious enough to figure somethings out.
    Not that I don’t like dogs – my perfect house has a Labrador Retriever in it. And a cat, of course.

  21. Whether or not my dog eats his own poo or not, I would like to agree with Emily’s point about the litterbox. Cats poo inside the house and that’s supposed to be ok because it’s in a little box with sand? At least when humans poo inside it gets flushed away.

  24. Thanks for the confirmation, Stacy, that cats do, indeed, Rule!
    I have a great connection with dogs, but they’re a bit too needy for my taste. Gimme a cat I want to kiss and can’t find and won’t come when I call and I’m in bliss!
    😀

  25. I know…
    Given a chance housecats would do the same! Ever had a female cat with her new borns? Observed her constantly moving the kittens around the house? They do it because they want to save their kittens from other male cats. – it’s instinctive.
    After all cats are cats!!! They are not dogs!!! 😀
    At the end of the day, we love all animals and their owners – a little more or little less!
    Last but not the least, we dog folk don’t toilet train our dogs. We don’t try to make them human – it’s against nature!
    http://www.sniksnak.com/cathealth/toilet.html

  28. Katha —
    I think those are porcelain cat statues or Japanese dogs in cat suits — No American Housecat Would Tolerate Such Humiliation!

  29. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
    Dear Lord, look at those poor kitties in Katha’s link; they all look severely and utterly pissed off, every last one of them!
    That’s animal abuse. But as it is kitty abuse, I’ll let it slide. :mrgreen:

  32. HA! Look at those cute doggies in their cute costumes! Almost as cute as Brutus in his Bee costume! Complete with stinger and glittery wings! He totally hates it and would very happily rip it to pieces if given the chance, so I have to hide it from him. 🙁

  34. Heh!
    Can we say ‘perfect utilization the resources available??? ‘
    The first image is the same ‘Japanese porcelain’ though!

  36. P.S. Katha, if you want to see something really funny, Google “cat lion cut” and check out those images. Now that’s one kitty who will kill its owners while they sleep!

  37. Wow! Good to know Emily! Thanks for the info! I feel for cat people! 😉

  39. Cat people have a mind of their own David – they are independent! 🙁

  40. Come to the Dark Side, David. Dog People are forgiving by nature (just like our dogs) and we will accept you despite your previous indiscretions in Cat Loving.

  41. Dog people are friendly and loyal – they understand the need of a team!!!
    😀

  45. Ummm…
    I think I heard you calling for cat people to unite a little ago –
    Well…

  47. The only problem with this ‘union’ is you won’t get it when you need it…because every cat people ‘unite’ when they want not when others are calling for help… 🙁
    See…you didn’t get a single response from any cat people…:-(

  50. I am so happy to hear that!
    Even happier to know that the world is not full of them!!!
    At least I know I can bank on ‘dog folk!’ 😀

  51. As a kid we always had dogs only, but the wife loves cats so we have had several cats. I must admit I prefer them over the digs. If I am feeling especially lazy, I don’t have to take the furball out for a walk, just throw one of the wife’s balls of yarn and he is happy.
    Great site David.

  52. Folks, I think you’ll have to agree to disagree. Dog people are, in my experiece, used to mayhem and conrol. No two ways around that Yes dogs can be wonderful but it entirely depends n the owner. Male owners of dogs will tell you they love an obedient creature. They also have a preference for an obedient wife. Cat people male and female on the other hand are completely and utterly different in all ways. Less agitated and peaceful. Symbiotic is a better word. Cat people live with their pets allowing them to contribute what they may. Dog people don’t know you can train a cat as a dog. My beautiful little guy listened to every call to stay if we didn’t want him running outside and sat patiently when asked to do so. He never bit a person. Dogs go insane if you stare at them for more than two seconds like a lot of guys. Such is life. Cat are elegant but are killers, there’s no question It’s in the DNA. Dogs are dogs, again like a lot of people are killers too – usually at the drop of a hat. The world is just that way. Enough of the I’m right, no I’m right stuff. Let each camp just love the creatures. You get back what you give. They all need a home. My little buddy just passed away and he will be forever missed. – Steve

  53. My oh my!
    You guys are all worked-up about the oldest argument in history. There have been Nobel peace-prize winners of dog and cat preference, (probably more Cat, as you’re not out cleaning piles of feces from the yard to keep neighbors from bitching about the smell) probably more cat, because they have more time to think/live.
    I’ve had a great life with both; I had a rottweiler with such a drive to protect that he ripped his knees out jumping over a ditch to protect me from my neighbor, whom I liked, knew, and trusted (cost me 3k, but ya gotta respect that);; and a German Shepard that could open any door in the house (so smart), but killed the neighbors cat in it’s own yard. You see, the cat got to its safe zone and stopped running (it was their game for years), but the Shepard didn’t play fair!
    I’ve also had a 21LB Manx cat that took pleasure in going to the neighbor’s back yard and smacking around their two poodles (not killing them) now that was cute.
    He could also ring the doorbell when he wanted in.
    In the long run I’ve seen them for what they are. Unfortunately America has it backwards: in the city cats belong indoors and dogs belong out on the farm. Dogs are larger and need more room to get about. Cats are small and precise and don’t need as much space. There has always been this midwestern mentality (where I grew up) that cats belong out in the barn killing the mice and the dogs inside, but it’s really the dogs that belong out in the barn. Dogs are much more like cattle in the way they heard and work in packs and are generally more disgusting/messy.
    I awoke this morning laying on my back with my arms behind my head and looked to my right and saw my 20 year old Boogie cat (her name) laying next to me in the exact same position just under my arm, and that 20 year old motor still sounded as good as it did 15 years ago. We have a special trust that I’ve never experienced that with a dog. It may be my fault, as I chose cats while growing up because of limited space (apartments), but it is what it is, I’ve never respected a dog like I do this cat, she has been a best friend and the face of an angel for soooo long.
    I still like dogs, just so long as their not my responsibility; which reminds me to note that a good dog owner is worth their weight in gold. It’s not easy keeping up with an animal like that, and we appreciate it! I would trust a good dog owner to borrow my tools over a cat owner any day; but I’d rather hang with a cat’s partner.
    Make sense?
    SF
    In short; if you have 1+ acre a dog would be great. If you live in –1acre suburbia a (indoor) cat is your fancy.
    Adapt like a shadow; respond like an echo! CAT!

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