Flies are hunting me. Beetles — the flying kind — are bothering me.
Every year at this time, the flies come out of hiding along with their red, flying, beetle buddies — they all love to say hello and land on me and my computer. I am tired of shuddering and shooing. My arm is aching from all of the swatting.

Flies are gross when you beat them with a swatter: They leave behind a
blood spot on the wall. If you can whack them in mid-air, that’s the
best because they slowly death spiral down to the floor.
The flying red beetles are grosser because the only way to kill them is
to squeeze them until their hard shell cracks. You know you’ve done
your duty when you feel a “pop” between your fingers.
We live in a sort of rural paradise within the Jersey urban core.

have lots of trees and bushes and foliage and, I guess, when the
weather turns humid and hot, the flies and their beetle buddies start
living it up and go looking for fun and food and they always find a way
inside our home even if the windows are never opened.
How are these pests getting inside?
How do you get rid of flies and flying beetles?

I am spending too much time swatting and cracking.
Exterminators are worthless.
Is there a secret to beating these pests in your home without a
fumigation bomb or spraying some chemical killer at them?
I cringe at the thought that the Florida Bed Bug infestation is slowly wending its way up the Eastern corridor.

Bed Bugs make flies and flying beetles look like long, lost, friends.


  1. Hi David,
    When it comes to flies and cockroaches, I have no qualms about playing God. I will swat and stomp them in a New York minute.
    A friend of mine in college shared my aggressive attitude toward these beasts, and even used to leave the smashed remains on her wall for a few hours, as preserved “martyrs.” She maintained they served as a warning to any other bugs that would dare to try to avenge the death of their brothers.
    When it comes to spiders and other useful creatures, I create “traps” with a cup and a card. I trap the spider by placing a cup over it, and then slide the card in between the wall and the cup, thereby trapping it inside the cup. I take the trapped spider and gently relocate it outside near a water source.
    One should never kill spiders, no matter how beastly and hairy their appearance.
    If you don’t want to make your own trap, PETA sells the Humane Bug Catcha. ๐Ÿ˜€

  2. Hey Donna!
    I agree. Pests like nasty insects deserve their deaths!
    Spiders are good folk. They deserve the living.
    Love PETA! Their thang doesn’t look too good for catching flies, though! ๐Ÿ˜€

  3. Hi David,
    We used to have problems with mosquitoes before West Nile made them dangerous to people and horses and the local health department started zapping them with various sprays and chemicals. Now, we don’t have as many insect problems because the authorities seem to have figured out ways to disrupt them.
    Before the city stepped in, I remember speaking with my neighbor about putting up bat houses.
    My current house is located on the edge of a wooded area with a creek and wetlands that run into the southern parts of Lake George, so we speculated that bats were probably already in the area eating bugs — we needed to get them to hang out around our houses to eat the mosquitoes bothering us.
    If you have the right environmental conditions, you might already have bats around that can be attracted to do your dirty work!

    Most nursery colonies of bats choose roosts within 1/4 mile of water, preferably a stream, river or lake. Greatest bat house success has been achieved in areas of diverse habitat, especially where there is a mixture of varied agricultural use and natural vegetation. Bat houses are most likely to succeed in regions where bats are already attempting to live in buildings.

  4. Hi Chris!
    Bats are like spiders: Both Good People. ๐Ÿ˜€
    I can’t think of any functional reason to like flies or flying beetles. They do like standing water, though, and since the Jersey City Heights are all bedrock there isn’t much place for water to go sink into when it rains except to pool in the streets and in backyards.

  5. I’ve heard that “bug zappers” — by their very nature — attract additional insects into your vicinity. The bugs down the street might not have thought about visiting your place, but as soon as they see that attractive UV light, they will be buzzing in strength to your place.
    Have you seen the video of the guys who play “Spin the bug zapper” then proceed to lick it? Pretty crazy.

  6. Chris!
    It makes sense! I have three lights in my office and when I turn them off one by one each night my fly friends immediately move to the next nearest light source. Very creepy!
    What a video! Now that’s the ultimate in gross! ๐Ÿ˜€

  7. Hi David,
    We have the same problem but with mosquitoes here. and this is what i prefer to use –
    the mosquito bat
    i like it because it attends to the immediate problems at hand (the mosquitoes that are bothering you). the mosquito enters the three-ply (+-+) net and short-circuits itself to death – invariably with a loud crack and vaporizes leaving just a short-lived and pungent smell of burnt protein. this instant and definite feedback gives immense pleasure to everyone who wields these bats.
    they are quite cheap and the lure is irresistible once you pick up the basics. the long forehand, the quick sweep and the short but forceful jab.
    you must try it with flies if you can get your hands on one of these beauties. i’m sure they’ll work just as well! ๐Ÿ™‚

  8. forgot to mention,
    i live in a house with a garden with lots of trees and there’s a ground next to the house that doubles up as a football field for the neighbourhood. and it has been raining here for the past few days, the bat has been kept pretty busy lately. ๐Ÿ™‚

  9. on second thoughts youth probably has little to do with it. immaturity and minds lost in petty pursuits would be more apt! i’m thinking of mailing you a pdf. wonder if you’ll have the time to go through it. ๐Ÿ™‚

  10. Ah mangoes! it’s the season right now here, and there are more varieties than there are ways of eating them! there’s the slice and dice banganapalli the have it with cream alfonso and the simple peel and devour ones whose name i forget ah! and the overripe ones you can just peel and deseed and put them in the blender and make yourself some mango milkshake! ๐Ÿ˜€
    do you get jackfruits in america kathakali?

  11. Kathakali!
    i know i know! milkshakes, but only in moderation ๐Ÿ™‚
    we get swindled here with the jackfruits though. they don’t give us the cans!

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