Amanda Beard is a United States Olympic swimmer. She’s good in the water, but in print, she’s barely tolerable as a sexual siren wannabee. There’s nothing harder to witness than an unsuccessful seller of sexuality failing at her primary directive: Love me, Daddy, because I’m overly airbrushed and sensual.
Amanda Beard wants to be a sex-kitten. She poses. She prances. She tries to flirt, but her stony face and wooden body do not percolate a sensuality that sells. Can we blame her for trying; or must we blame the advertisers paying her to influence us?
Amanda Beard even got a shot in Playboy to show her wares.
She wore us out with an air-brushed body and a face that conveys no human expression.
Go Daddy also hired Ms. Beard to sell their website hosting service.
Again, she failed because instead of watching her sell us domain registration services, we turned away from the television because it was too painful watching her try to be something she is not: Sexually persuasive.
Sometimes it is better to just want to be the best swimmer and not yearn for fame or for a job you cannot effectively produce.
Here’s the real Amanda Beard — selling her Playboy issue — and while the legs are persuasive, the head and mouth are inarticulate when it comes to meeting the muse of advertising: Sex Forever Sells, but Androgyny is Fickle and Fleeting.