by I read something the other day — I have since lost the link and the exact wording of the argument — but the notion went a little something like this, “Procrastination is Repressed Rage.”
I remember the wash of the argument because it hit me as an instant wave of recognition revealing an unspoken truth.
Those lightbulb events are rare and cherished and I have been pondering the idea of — “I’ll get to it when I can” and “I loathe you” — being synonymous.
My least favorite people in the world are The Passive-Aggressives who meander in and out of life and the land of the dead with false smiles on their facades and hatred in their hearts. You can never pin them down to anything or get them to commit to a single idea, let alone a final accomplishment.
I’m an “I’ll do it right now” sort because I know when I turn around, I’ll have a whole load of other things to mash through before the day is over — so why delay what can be done right now? I never let things pile up. I may have a cluttered desk, but my mind is clear.
If procrastination really is a cover for repressed rage — is the rage being expressed in the procrastination, or is the procrastination the overflow valve containing the fury?
As a few of my work colleagues would be more than willing to attest, I am a little too much of a pro at procrastination. With your insight in mind I think I have yet another reason to work on overcoming it. (I actually have a book about overcoming procrastination – every single person I mentioned it to asked me if I hadn’t read it yet, yuk yuk yuk – but I did read it and should re-read it.)
Why do you think you procrastinate, Gordon? Does it give you a sense of power over people trying to control you?
I don’t think that’s it, David, because I procrastinate even when I’m the one that is completely in control – ie when I am writing a play or story. I think I procrastinate mostly because I see the larger sense of the project at hand and it overwhelms me so much that I am afraid to go near even the smallest task, which of course is illogical because it is the mass of small tasks that makes up the large project. 🙂
There is such a thing as self-loathing, though, Gordon — so by procrastinating against yourself… are you in some way sending a greater message to your subconscious from your passive-aggressive active mind?
I think you’re onto something. Now I just need to knock it off 🙂
…and when will you be knocking it off, Gordon?
SMILE!