Dyson Ball vacuums look great. They also suck — and not in a great way.
Don’t be fooled by the ball. Don’t follow the ball. Roll away from the ball now.
We used to really love Dyson vacuums. We bought the “purple pet” vacuum — especially crafted for those who own pets and have to deal with shedding on a daily basis — when it first hit the market and we loved the machine. It sucked in a great way and it never left a single pet hair behind. Everything was inhaled. The house was clean.
Time and tide and lots of hair finally defeated our purple wonder and we immediately decided to “Go Ballin'” for the newer, yellow, Dyson Ball Vac to replace our previous purple people eater.
The Dyson Ball is nothing like the regular Dyson vacuum we initially fell in love with — even though The Ball is more expensive and uglier. The Ball is aiming more for art than function; more facade than substance. Its silhouette sure does look pretty standing there in the closet, but call it to action and it miserably fails as a cleaning device.
The Ball has no sucking power. It is difficult to maneuver around objects. “It’s just mean,” is Janna’s favorite critique of the Ball during and after every use.
I also find the Ball a casual, yet cruel, joke. You think technology with an aesthetic will always be greater and grander that what it used to be — but that is not the case in the matter of the Dyson Ball.
I now see there is a purple pet version of the Dyson Ball — yes, the ball is a beautiful purple and not an obnoxious yellow — and while we are tempted by our memories of what used to be, our current neon yellow reality strikes back to remind us we’re never buying Dyson again.