Midol is a gift to modern man.  When a woman is in her premenstrual cycle, Midol is the miracle drug that could — and can — if it were only easier to administer.  We need Midol gummi bears.  We need Midol gum.  We need Midol Diet Pepsi!

For some reason, Bayer Healthcare, chooses to provide Midol in impossible-to-open blister packs. That means each little miracle pill is encased in hard plastic with a foil backing and plastic layer over the foil!

The only safe way to get a Midol pill out of the pack is to carefully tear off two pills from the larger pack and then hunt for the one corner along the sharp, and cutting, plastic edge until you find a tiny access area where you can insert your fingernail tip and coax back the foil/plastic backing.  You can’t pull off both backings, though.  You can only peel back the plastic and then you have to press the pills through the foil to find relief.

The more cynical among us could argue Midol creates this cyclical packaging rage to ensure future sales:  Frustrate the PMS suffer so much that she needs more Midol for a longer time.

Now, imagine you are in the full onset of a PMS rage — yes, we all know you’re supposed to go Midol-ing a few days before the symptoms start, so shut up about it!, and we’ll leave that fact to women who take interest in planning for the inevitable — and you are all alone without a man in sight to assist you… but that doesn’t mean you can’t hammer his incompetence online.

You can’t tear the two pills you want away from the main blister pack because the plastic is too thick and unforgiving.

You hunt for scissors.  You can’t find them.

You look for a box cutter.  You find it.

You hack off two pills from the miracle mothership.  Now you can’t fit your fingernail between the plastic and the hard plastic to pull open your relief-in-waiting.

You try to tear open the two-pill pack.  You cut your finger on the failed attempt.  Midol blister pack edges are very sharp when torn!

You try to push the pills through the foil backing.  And fail.  The plastic covering the foil foils your attempt at relief.

Finally, you take up your box cutter again and you stab gashes through the plastic and foil to extricate your pills.  The pills have been broken, but you don’t care.  You don’t even need water.  The blood boiling in your veins is enough of a slake to slam the Midol past your tongue and deep down your throat.

The rage isn’t over yet.

It’ll take at least another hour for the full effects to kick in and you can finally take a nap — until then, you could proactively prepare your next Midol dose — but you’re too furious for that right now and so you sit and stew, finger still dripping blood from the blister pack cut, and you wait for your husband to come home so you can re-enact the entire episode for him, and that includes re-cutting your already cut finger, just to prove a point that, while Midol is a great medication, Bayer Healthcare know nothing about the real pain women go through trying to get relief.

Posted by David Boles

David Boles was born in Nebraska and his MFA is from Columbia University in the City of New York. He is an Author, Lyricist, Playwright, Publisher, Editor, Actor, Designer, Director, Poet, Producer, and Boodle Boy for print, radio, television, film, the web and the live stage. With more than 50 books in print, David continues to write 2MM words a year. He has authored over 25K articles and published more. Read the Prairie Voice Archive at Boles.com | Buy his books at David Boles Books Writing & Publishing | Earn the world with David Boles University | Get a script doctored at Script Professor | Touch American Sign Language mastery at Hardcore ASL.


  1. That’s why I always preemptively pre-open things like this so that there’s no rage when it’s needed. Of course, it would be even better if they just made the packaging easy to open. Not like kids are going to be getting into your Midol.



    1. That’s a good point. Men need to take control of the ordering, opening, and administration of the Midol at all times! SMILE!

      I agree — why build such a punishing packaging for what is basically aspirin and caffeine?



  2. UPDATE:

    “Midol Gives Men PMS!”

    Seriously. I tried opening a new package of Midol tabs for my wife and couldn’t get the blister pack open. It’s impossible! I had to resort to using my SOG.




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